Twelfth Dungeon! Stairs of Strange Dangers!

Dungeon Master: Ahead -- it's a walled town at the edge of the plateau! Adventurers are relieved. At last they have reached it! It looks this way.

Pilchard: Wow! Amazing Dungeon Master artistry!
Plummet: Wait, what? Did we locate a wreckaged road, and I forgot? Also, did we pass a town of Bi'chen and Monen?
Grolka: Definitely not.
Helsa: I checked notes.
Dungeon Master: 100 experience points for artistry compliments! 100 experience points for remembering where an adventure party expected to go! 100 experience points for remembering unfulfillment of that expectedness! 100 experience points for checking notes!
Pilchard: Nice! We're raking it in right off the bat.
Plummet: I scribe down this experience for sure, but still feel confusish.
Dungeon Master: Time for Dungeon Masterly confession. All week, I worked so hard on a picture. Finally ... success! Possibly, though, it's a picture with too much success. A Dungeon Master becomes impatient to show it off. Solution seems obvious -- we skip travel along a wreckaged road and happenings in Bi'chen and Monen. Is this cheatery? An inexperienced Dungeon Master blames her inexperience. "Oh no!" she says if it's cheating. "So sorry to cheat! I didn't know."
Pilchard: No cheating or cheatery involved. Many Dungeon Masters just say, "Time to fast-forward, due to a wreckaged road being uneventful and characters deciding to attend the advicing of Guidry Guidestar to sidestep the complaining town of Bi'chen and Monen."
Dungeon Master: Educational! 50 experience points!
Pilchard: Thanks!
Dungeon Master: No, these are Dungeon Master experience points. Second-level Dungeon Mastering soon!
Luce: I am new to Dungeon and Dragoning, but my opinion is, already you are much more than second level in Dungeon Mastering skill.
Dungeon Master: Exceptional flattery! 100 experience points!
Grolka: I feel wistfulness, though. I looked forward to finding out what would happen in that town. There's disappointment to find out the answer is, "Nothing."
Dungeon Master: Don't fear so quickly! The Dungeon Master will create appointment for you. I appoint Bingly to explain the eventlessness of several days on Bi'chen road.
Bingly: Toads ate everything along the way. 
Dungeon Master: Yes! 100 experience points! I appoint Rouge to explain what happened in the town with a complaining reputation.
Rouge: We had to leave quickly before they could complain about thousands of gold pieces Rouge Hornytail stole!
Dungeon Master: Yes, but a revelation followed -- large piles of fake gold were left to tempt thieves, so that later thieves would have much to complain about. Try again!
Rouge: Fine. While carrying heavy heaps of fraudster gold, Rouge complained of sore-footedness so much, the group found a boat and took it down the river to quiet her. Some complained, "No, Rouge, we must not steal a boat!" But Rouge produced large amounts of apparent gold and said, "We'll leave this to pay for it." 
Dungeon Master: Better! 100 experience points.
Rouge: But the boat had devious leakages. Wet feet! Much complaining by all adventurers. The boat had buckets for bailing, but these had leakages also. Eventually such a boat had to be abandoned.
Dungeon Master: Good! Now adventurers see in a westerly distance the plateau edge. Dusty and dry plateau lands stretch to this precipice -- beyond, there's green. Even more beyond, a sea!
Plummet: Braddlebrick Bay!
Dungeon Master: Could be. Too far for you to see any city signposts. Or even a city. or even a bay. There's just some blue, so you think, "Most likely a sea."
Pilchard: What about this city that we do see?
Plummet: Also, why are we seeing it from so high up? Is another roc going to elevate us fearfully?
Dungeon Master: Your dungeon master is very slow with artisting. It's too much to draw a picture of seeing a city in westerly distance, then also a map to show streets and buildings for exploring. So I made a map-ish picture.
Helsa: Talented and efficient. Your approach deserves voluminous praise.
Plummet: (That's what she said!)
Rouge: Always this joke with you! I would complain, except after last session ending in toad punnery from the player of Bingly, "That's what she said" becomes comedy genius.
Dungeon Master: Minus 10 experience points for reminding your Dungeon Master of being tricked into pun participation.
Rouge: What! Bingly reminded us of toad encounterings and received bonus points!
Dungeon Master: Bingly made a toad joke much better than that toad pun of last time. Therefore, points. Appropriate toad jokes are welcome. Pun reminders, less so.
Rouge: Fine. I guess it's only 10 points.
Luce: How distant is this town? Will we arrive before night-time?
Dungeon Master: Someone name a time of day.
Pilchard: 3:42 p.m.
Dungeon Master: Excellent. Now, for randomness, and because I am from Japan, I will have Google tell me that time in Tokyo. 5:42 a.m.! Too early, so I will say you observe the city and plateau edge at sunrise after camping. Quickly, someone explain why you did not see it at sunset! 
Plummet: Something was chasing us at sunset! We ran and ran, even into night-time. Then we used darkness to ambush it into defeat.
Dungeon Master: More excellence! Now, what chased you? Two people name page numbers in the Manual of Monstrosities.
Grolka: 18.
Rouge: 243.
Dungeon Master: 18 plus 243 is 261, which is ... Roc!
Plummet: Oh no!
Rouge: Again?
Bingly: And here we all thought we weren't going to be seeing the city from elevation.
Pilchard: How did we run away from so giant a bird for so long?
Helsa: Of more prominent importance, how did we defeat one?
Dungeon Master: Who has the best idea?
Pilchard: This poor roc -- its wing was broken. So, it could only chase us on the ground.
Dungeon Master: Good, but no. The Manual says, a roc can only speed at 20 feet each movement. Characters are faster than this, so they would escape it with ease.
Bingly: This roc was gluttonly! Recently it ate too many giant toads and became ill from such a meal. If it flew too fast, it became airsick, then had to land and walk for a while before flying again.
Dungeon Master: Good, but why is a roc full of toads so hungry to eat adventurers? I think we need superior explanation.
Plummet: Maybe it's too young and small to pick up adventurers. So, it keeps attacking us, then flies away when we pain it too much with damage. Finally, we ambush it enough to kill it.
Dungeon Master: Acceptable! Each character receives 300 experience points for defeat of this youngster roc. Bonus 50 experience for clever but insufficient explaining by Bingly and Pilchard, bonus 100 experience for successful reasoning by Plummet.
Pilchard: So much experience without actually doing anything ... it's a first, I think.
Plummet: We should encourage our Dungeon Master to do more artisting!
Helsa: I agree, but because she is so talented, not because it deducts exertion for achieving higher levels.
Dungeon Master: So! Dawn occurs east of your camp. Revealed are dark birds of scavengery that circle overhead of a corpsed roc. What do you do?
Pilchard: Which direction is the blowing of wind?
Rouge: Why does this matter?
Pilchard: I have more motivation to quickly leave our camping spot if downwind of a huge rotting roc.
Plummet: Ew. Me too!
Grolka: Such weakling civilization types! Barbarians shrug at such deathly stenches.
Dungeon Master: Probably it's too soon for much decay, if the roc died just last night. But currently, the wind blows from a north-ish direction.
Pilchard: I'm okay eating a breakfast of leisure before leaving, then.
Plummet: Plummet also.
Grolka: Is it allowed to fast-forward through breakfasting as we did through actual adventuring?
Dungeon Master: Yes. A road runs beside the river. You take that. Somewhat east of the walled city, a large sign can be seen between road and river.
Helsa: I read it. What does it say?
Dungeon Master: "Warning! Cliffs! Boaters park at piers ahead or it's smashing and drowning for you!" A few minutes later, another sign says, "It's serious, boaters! Use piers or waterfall catastrophe awaits!"
Pilchard: I'm glad we are not seeing these signs from inside a leaky boat that is hard to paddle while bailing.
Plummet: I'm glad I'm not having to paddle or bail.
Dungeon Master: Soon, a third sign stands next to piers. "These are the piers we told you about! All boats should stop!" At this spot, the road widens near the pier, then turns away from its river-following at an angle that points at the city gate.
Luce: Question. Have any boats been seen this entire time besides our leakaged one?
Dungeon Master: Only a few traveling between smaller villages and the town of Bi'chen and Monen, plus some doing fishing activities.
Bingly: Should we explore this pier, since it is here?
Luce: Unnecessary exploring could lead to plesiosauring.
Plummet: Ooh! Are you two doing a rhyme battle?
Bingly: Maybe! Would there be experience from this kind of battle?
Dungeon Master: Only if rhyming attracts monsters for the other kind of battle.
Bingly: Bingly is more interested in coolness than in battling. Probably we should continue to this city of stairs and mystery a gnomish guide described.
Luce: Agreed.
Grolka: What do we see in our approach of the city? A barbaric orc will peer suspiciously.
Helsa: A ranger as well.
Dungeon Master: Roll your Perceivings!
Grolka: 15.
Helsa: 10.
Dungeon Master: You both Perceive that the gate at the end of the road is unclosed. Also, Grolka Perceives that no figures are noticed moving within.
Plummet: Wait, so Helsa Perceives that figures are moving within?
Dungeon Master: Helsa looks very squintingly, but it's, "Are there figures? Are they moving? Can't really tell either way."
Plummet: Oh, I see.
Helsa: But I do not. Someday I must roll better.
Grolka: My announcement is, "Looks empty and boring. We should go around and find stairs to go quickly to Braddlebrick Bay."
Rouge: I ask Grolka if her barbaric eyes are so good, they see from here the treasurelessness of this empty city.
Grolka: The city is old, yes? And gates are open, so it must be easy to go in to get treasure. Or if there's treasure, it is so hard to get that no one has been able to. So either it's no treasure inside, or extremely hard-to-get treasure inside.
Rouge: Or gates only opened last night.
Grolka: I scoff at this idea of coincidence.
Rouge: Still, it's possible! Also, we are brave adventurers. Our job is exploration of such places.
Grolka: Will you bravely volunteer to go first?
Rouge: Yes, whenever we find a treasure room.
Helsa: I am unpersuaded that avoiding the city is logical. However, since the city may have dangers, probably some scouting of stairs might be useful in case we need to flee speedily.
Rouge: But I have impatience to look for treasure.
Luce: What if all the city's treasure is hidden under stairs?
Rouge: Hmm.
Pilchard: One Plume mage votes to scout stair-wise before entering the city.
Plummet: Another Plume mage also!
Bingly: An empty city seems so cool, though. And I could have my bat fly in to look around.
Luce: One thieveling tiefling also votes for the scouting.
Dungeon Master: Seems like Rouge is minority-ish. Does she continue arguing?
Rouge: Yes, but only grumpily, while we walk toward stairs.
Bingly: While walking, I send my bat to spy. "Look on top of the wall, bat!" Also, if a tower is less than 100 feet tall, "Look on top of that tower, bat!" In windows also.
Dungeon Master: Only emptiness for a bat to see. No one on walls or towers or in windows.
Plummet: What conditions do we see for the walls and towers? Since I am sagely, it's curious to know. Oh! Also, I am very Historical in skill! I try to remember if such a stair-top city appears in history books.
Dungeon Master: They are sturdy walls without cracks or missing stones. Probably a little dirty from years and years of plateau winds blowing dirt on them. You may roll your Historical skill.
Plummet: Natural 20! It becomes 28 with my skill!
Luce: 8 for a skill! My highest is only 5.
Helsa: 5 is better than 4.
Luce: Sorry about that.
Grolka: A barbaric orc scoffs at your civilized skillings. "Skills of 3 or less are fine when your axe is large."
Luce: I withdraw my complaint about a top skill of 5.
Dungeon Master: With such a roll, Plummet recalls stories of a stair-top city on a cliff of plateau. Most involve guesswork by sages of speculating tendencies. Who can suggest a speculated tale of this sort?
Bingly: The city was built by giants!
Grolka: Seems unlikely even to an orc of barbarism. Does anything of this city have a look of oversized?
Dungeon Master: No. Rocks and gates and windows look pretty normal.
Bingly: It's because giants built the city for their children to play in.
Dungeon Master: Clever! Worth 50 experience points. But Plummet suspects it's a tale with poor sagely reputation. Who else?
Rouge: A land of riches and wealth built this city! Rich, but miserly. For hoarding, gold and gems were spread over the whole ground inside the walls before laying of foundations and paving of streets. Then ages passed and people of the city forgot, so all this gold remains under buildings and roadways.
Grolka: Who told the sages who wrote down such a story, then?
Helsa: And if this is known, why are any stones left unturned?
Rouge: A mystery. Other sages mocked this tale-writer, maybe. He is widely unbelieved.
Plummet: Probably I won't relate that tale then, since it has no sagely credit.
Rouge: Unfair!
Dungeon Master: No experience for this unrealistic and greedy story.
Rouge: Even less fair!
Dungeon Master: Sometimes a Dungeon Master must be harsh. But Plummet remembers other things. The stairs exceed the age of the city! No one knows who built them. They are wide and strong and durable against all weather. Ancient people of the plateau and the lands below and westerly used the stairs to trade. Armies marched up and down them to make war, so a fortress was built to claim it for the plateau folk. Kingdoms rose and fell, changing the hands that held the fortress. The fortress became a city! The city was burned and destroyed by war. Again the city was built! And so on and so on. Then, 100 years ago, all people in the city disappeared. Travelers arrived to find it empty. Spooky! The gates stay always wide and open since that time. Brave types go through them to explore and seek treasure. Sagely types take expeditions to solve the mystery. But in each case outcomes remain identical: No one who returns from the city talks about it -- not even if captured by cruel rulers who torture them for secrets!
Pilchard: Must be some very embarrassing things that happen to people who go in.
Plummet: Ooh! But that means if an adventurer goofs up inside, the others are unable to tease them later!
Grolka: Assuming the goof-up is not fatal for all in the party.
Dungeon Master: The corner of the city wall is now reached. 
Pilchard: Someone should peek around it, in case of lurking perils.
Grolka: Barbaric orcs have no time for this kind of cowardish behavior. I step around the corner and examine what's there.
Dungeon Master: Though it's obvious on the map, from such an angle you have a difficulty of spotting whether these gates also are open.
Plummet: But my sagely readings explained them to be.
Grolka: Yes, but among your sagely readings were unrealistic and sage-mocked ones believable only by the foolish.
Rouge: Hey!
Dungeon Master: Also, just knowing gates might be open is not the same as seeing gates open in truth.
Pilchard: Aha, though! Usually, it's sunrise in the southish part of the east. On our map-drawing, the gate of this side opens to the westish north. This means, morning sunlight may shine through the open gate and reveal its openness.
Dungeon Master: 50 experience points for this reasoning so epic! You do see sunlight shining through the open gate, onto the stairs before it.
Grolka: I stride large barbaric strides stair-ward.
Helsa: I follow.
Bingly: I send my bat ahead to examine stairs as we approach them.
Dungeon Master: The bat sees that stairs are cut into the plateau in a path of downward and westishward curve. Bridges of stone have been left across these stairs, here and here.
Bingly: Probably such archings of stone would be tempting for a bat to hang from. I allow my bat to indulge if it wishes.
Dungeon Master: The bat flies down toward this bridge of nearest. But ... bonk! A surface of invisible sort blocks it at exactly level with the plateau ground.
Bingly: Oh no, my bat! It's not hurt, is it?
Dungeon Master: Only confused.
Bingly: I call it back.
Luce: Hmm. So ... maybe not as easy to go down stairs as expected?
Plummet: Could be it's just bat-proof, right?
Grolka: I go trompingly to the stairs and try to step on the top one.
Dungeon Master: Your foot won't proceed down to it! The surface invisible denies you.
Pilchard: I have a staff. I will go along the edge of the stair-gully and poke with it to see whether this invisible surface covers the whole thing.
Dungeon Master: That distance would be long, you know. Other maps might have a note saying, "Not to scale," but your Dungeon Master neglected to add such. It's hundreds of feet to check it all.
Pilchard: I am less curious than that. Probably I don't go farther than where the fall to the stairs would be injurious.
Plummet: Ooh! If we can't stair our way down, I can Feather Fall us again!
Rouge: Not before searching this city for its treasures!
Luce: I also enjoy treasures, but seems like if Penny Plume knows many people have been in there since the mystery began, if they found treasures, soon there would be adventuresome crowds searching out all the treasures of the city.
Pilchard: No, because they couldn't tell anyone where they got the treasures. Remember that no one who goes in ever talks about it after coming out.
Grolka: Then how do we know anyone ever went in? Suspicious, if you ask me.
Helsa: Possibly someone watched them go in from outside.
Luce: Then if the watchers watched them returning with treasures, suddenly again there are big rumors of a city full of treasures. Don't confuse my ideas, though -- I'm okay going in. I just think expectations of the low kind are advisable over the grand kind.
Pilchard: Also, there may be other sorts of treasures, like writings in ancient languages, or fanciful scribings of unusual texts. Not every treasure is exchangeable for coins.
Rouge: I do not understand your words.
Grolka: A barbaric orc does not understand why so many words are needed. We are here, city is there, gate is open, most adventurers say, "Let's go in." Why all this talking? I turn and stride barbarically to the open gate.
Helsa: I follow.
Rouge: Wait for me!
Bingly: Seems like we're all going in, then?
Luce: Yes.
Dungeon Master: Oops, though! When Grolka arrives at the open arch of gateway, it's another bonk! More unseeable barrier blocks your way. Roll a Saving Throw of the Dexterity kind to avoid falling from the bonk and the startlement. 
Grolka: 19.
Dungeon Master: There's more embarrassment than falling, then.
Grolka: I conceal my embarrassment by growling, "Anyone who laughs receives a fist-smashing."
Rouge: I avoid laughter.
Bingly: Same.
Luce: Yes.
Pilchard: So. Do we climb over this enormous wall somehow, since invisible barriers impede us?
Plummet: How?
Grolka: Also, why? There remains another gate to try.
Plummet: Yes, but so far to walk there, especially only to find, it's an invisible orc-bonker too.
Grolka: No more bonking for me. I will approach the next gate with greater care. Stay here if walking around a city wall corner is too tiring for your magely legs.
Plummet: Well, this character actually is not so slothly as my Dragonbane one. I suppose walking's okay.
Dungeon Master: Soon, then -- the eastly gate draws near! What do you do?
Grolka: I locate a rock and throw it through the open gate.
Dungeon Master: It flies through and lands on the city street. Clatter!
Grolka: I use my spear and prod this gate's air where an invisible barrier might wait to bonk me.
Dungeon Master: The air does not bonk an orc's spear.
Plummet: Careful! Could be it only bonks creatures instead of objects.
Grolka: I will swish before me with one hand. It's not from fear of bonking, though. Only because I want to protect companions from a fist-smashing that might happen if an orc gets bonked again and there's laughing.
Dungeon Master: No bonking. Soon, an orc is definitely inside the gate.
Grolka: What is seeable from here?
Dungeon Master: First, definitely more buildings are here than on a map drawn by a slow-drawing Dungeon Master with not so infinite time. Pretend there are more on the map, but too boring to bother with. I drew only the buildings of interesting sorts.
Plummet: Wow! Are there plans for each of these many drawn buildings, then?
Dungeon Master: That is a Dungeon Masterly secret.
Rouge: Which interesting building looks most like a bank? This one, maybe? It's so almost adjacent to our gate and seems big.

Dungeon Master: Hmm. The architecture here ... so ancient? What details would these olden-times people put on a bank?
Rouge: I try Investigating. What seems clue-ish about this large, gate-adjacent building? My roll is ... boo. 5 only.
Dungeon Master: A clue is, it has columns.
Rouge: Some banks have columns! I Investigate my way closer to this building.
Dungeon Master: Do others accompany a tiefling?
Luce: They will have to accompany two tieflings, because I accompany Rouge.
Pilchard: Columns might be just as likely on a library as on a bank, so I favor this investigation.
Plummet: Ooh, a library might provide opportunities for sagely learning.
Grolka: Accompanying tieflings might require a decision. But Plume mages probably need barbaric protection.
Helsa: I go where others go.
Bingly: I send my bat ahead to see if it can fly inside and reveal the mystery of bank or library-ness.
Dungeon Master: Beyond this row of front columns, a bat finds windows of colored glass and a large door open to a welcoming degree. Above the door, it sees a great sculpture of marble.
Pilchard: Meaning a very large sculpture of marble, or a very excellent sculpture of marble?
Plummet: Also, meaning it's made of marble, or it's the shape of a marble?
Rouge: Obviously not the shape of a marble, since it's a bank. Why would marbles be sculpted above bank doors?
Pilchard: Could be this city used marbles in place of coins.
Bingly: How would they play heads or tails to decide things?
Pilchard: Could be they weren't able to, and so the city met this fate of strangeness and emptied.
Dungeon Master: Answers! This sculpture has both size and excellence. Made of marble, not showing a marble. Instead, it shows a figure very beautiful, strong, and wise. The arms are wide, as though to encourage all to enter.
Grolka: Sounds deity-ish to me. Now a tiefling will be disappointed. Maybe two.
Rouge: Not if it's a deity of banking.
Luce: Should adventurers adventure inside?
Dungeon Master: Remember, only Bingly knows this yet. A bat is much faster than adventurers afoot.
Bingly: I send my bat inside. Hopefully an invisible barrier does not bonk it again.
Dungeon Master: It flies unbonked. Inside, rainbows of color shine through windows with tint in their glass. More columns hold up a very high roof. At the far end, an altar. Before that, benches for worship and religious-type singing. Definitely, it's a temple, Bingly thinks.
Bingly: Hmm. Is such a city large enough for multiple temples? Because this other building on a Dungeon Master's map of artistry looks temple-ish also.

Plummet: So temple-ish!
Rouge: Must mean the bat of Bingly is pranking him, and really it sees a bank.
Dungeon Master: These ponderings are all unusable by your characters, though. Remember, there are so many more buildings in this city than on the map. Really, you couldn't see that other temple-ish building yet, so there's no wondering about how many temples reside in this city.
Pilchard: This one looks like a temple, too:

Plummet: Shh! Our Dungeon Master said, no wonderings about buildings we haven't seen!
Rouge: Also, though, that one looks like possibly a palace. And it has a high pointy peak with goldish gleaming. When we see it, I may want to go there next. Especially if this temple is treasureless.
Luce: Well, we have to go in a temple to discover its treasurelessness.
Grolka: There's also reaching a temple before going in. Are we there yet?
Dungeon Master: Yes. Now all approach the wide open door beneath the deity-ish statue. Inside -- pillars, a roof so high, rainbow colors from windows of tint.
Rouge: I ask Bingly where the treasures are, since he sent a bat to look in here before us.
Bingly: Did my bat happen to see any treasures, Dungeon Master?
Dungeon Master: Let me look up a bat's Perceiving of the Passive sort. Hmm. No, there's no report of treasures from a bat.
Bingly: I tell Rouge I did not have my bat looking for treasures. Also, even if a bat found treasures, wouldn't a tiefling still have to search for any a bat might have missed?
Rouge: Fine. I begin searching near the door in case a box for donating of coins is there.
Dungeon Master: None to see immediately.
Pilchard: I will do some pew-Perceiving to see if any songbooks or literatures of a religious sort are there for worshippers to use.
Dungeon Master: The answer is ... etto ... what printing machinery is available in Dungeons and Dragons times?
Pilchard: Oh, probably none if scribing is an everyday profession. A Plume mage would have no expectings of such things, in fact.
Dungeon Master: Then no, no literatures or books of songs.
Pilchard: Maybe at the altar area? I'll investigate there instead.
Grolka: I am alert for dangers of an ancient mystery city sort.
Helsa: I remain in the doorway, observing the street for sneakish beings of an ancient mystery city who might behave sneakishly while we explore their temple.
Bingly: I will wait with our orc. My bat flaps around playfully.
Luce: I examine this temple interior for doors to other chambers.
Plummet: I'd accompany my brother, probably.
Dungeon Master: In this case, here are findings. Rouge, already we've said no donationing boxes. Luce sees two doors, each beside the altar area in the wall behind it. Pilchard and Plummet approach altar-wise, where they see a large golden goblet and some tome kind of object resting. No mysterious city anythings appear to Grolka and Helsa. Here is a map!

Pilchard: Uh-oh. Concerning that a Dungeon Master has such a combat-ish map ready ...
Plummet: Maybe a hard-working Dungeon Master has many combat-ish maps ready!
Bingly: Or maybe whatever first building a party went into was always to be a temple of this layout.
Dungeon Master: These maybes and concernings must remain mysterious for now. So ... what next actions do adventurers take?

(Readers, the answering of that question is a to-be-continued! Already this blog entry is long-ish, and there's more Dungeoning and Dragoning ahead!)

Eleventh Dungeon! People and Pit and Plateau!

Readers! After some months of Dragonbaning, now it's a return to Dungeon and Dragoning. If you don't remember the happenings from before, you can find links here: Girlfriend Claire's Linking Page of Kindness!

Dungeon Master: A new challenge for your Dungeon Master! Hopefully with Dungeon Mastering experience points gained from earlier gamings, I can succeed.
Plummet: I have confidence in this success!
Rouge: The same. But what challenge is our Dungeon Master concerning about?
Dungeon Master: Never before have I returned to Dungeon Mastering a campaign after a break. Will I remember how? Will I remember where characters were?
Pilchard: There are notes.
Grolka: Also players to help you.
Rouge: It's especially easy to help if there are experience bonuses for such activities ...
Dungeon Master: Only for necessary and appropriate help! But it's probable if a Dungeon Master asks.
Luce: I re-read some of the notes. Many villagers and adventurers have exited a pit that is basemented in the creepy black tower.
Dungeon Master: Yes! Players helped name some of them. This part I perused again also. Let's remember them together: Matavor!
Pilchard: Sister of the plesiosaured adventurer that Rouge grave-robbed.
Dungeon Master: Correct! 10 experience points. Manglor of Mage-Mashing!
Rouge: I think I named that one, but additional memories have escaped.
Dungeon Master: Failure! No experience. He is a powerful adventurer unhappy with mages. Very troublesome for them, it was said. 
Pilchard: I'm remembering this now.
Dungeon Master: Matavor and Manglor are first at climbing out of a pit. "Thank you for the help of your rope!" says Matavor. "Have you seen a brother of mine, Rovatam?
Rouge: No, definitely not.
Bingly: We read he was plesiosaured.
Dungeon Master: "Oh no! Poor Rovatam! Also, he owed me some money. What disappointments of brotherly death and never paid debtings! Are you sure?"
Plummet: A sad skeleton wrote it.
Dungeon Master: "Was this skeleton named Glomulus?" This is a newly climbed-up voice. It is Arngo, companion to Matavor.
Pilchard: He had provisions, right? I'm thinking this is a memory.
Dungeon Master: Yes, 10 more experience points.
Pilchard: I will increase in levels any moment.
Grolka: I say that we don't know a name for this sad starved skeleton. We never heard one, right?
Helsa: Contrary to usual journal-writing norms, for a journaller to write in third person. How often do any journallers in this house do by-name referencing of themselves?
Bingly: I did, only two or three days ago.
Plummet: I know I do it some.
Rouge: Pretty sure it's yes for me also.
Dungeon Master: Appropriate evidencing! 10 experience points each. Your Dungeon Master has also done this. So probably this sad starved skeleton wrote something like, "I'm so starvational and hungry. If I could just warn myself of a month ago, don't go ruin-visiting on that plateau, Glomulus!" So you do know the name of our skeleton.
Pilchard: I tell this to Arngo and Matavor, then.
Dungeon Master: This news dis-spirits them. Manglor says, "Was he mageful? If so, it's not such a big loss." Matavor indicates Glomulus had a monkish class. After some bowing of his head, Arngo asks, "Well, did you find his Ring of Jumping? I mean, my Ring of Jumping, that I loaned to him?"
Pilchard: No. He was a pauperish skeleton.
Rouge: Do I sense a sound of deceiving in Arngo's speech? Do I roll something?
Dungeon Master: No rolling required. Matavor gives a disapproving glance when Arngo says this. Unless you have a very poor number for Intelligence, it's easy to conclude the ring is not Arngo's.
Rouge: Then I say, "No, we did not find your ring. That's definite."
Dungeon Master: Climbing up soon after Manglor is Ardman Pardonbeggar, Manglor's companion. He looks around for any mangled mages and sighs. This is a sigh of relief. Then he notices some magely looking members in your party and moves toward you with subtle steps to whisper that if you are mages, don't tell Manglor.
Pilchard: I whisper back, "Who is Manglor?"
Plummet: Ooh, yes, there was no description of Manglor introducing himself! So we don't know.
Dungeon Master: Ardman makes a noise of shush, but Manglor does not hear your conversing, because he is near the rope into the pit. As more individuals climb up, he asks each, "Are you a mage?" After they say no, he helps them exit their imprisonment. With these increasing persons, the basement begins to crowd!
Grolka: I say, "Look, stairs! Discontinue crowding us."
Dungeon Master: Many obey, despite confusedness. Stairs out of a creepy tower basement appeal more than remaining in a creepy basement.
Rouge: Wait! Which is Mayor Moneybags? I wish to discuss the rewarding before she goes.
Dungeon Master: So unfortunate. Players named some NPCs, but only the first few have done introductions, so the others ... who are they? Mystery. Once pointed toward stairs, most go that direction instead of waiting around for name exchanging.
Pilchard: Yes, our characters don't even know there is such a mayor.
Plummet: This is why I named Mayor Moneybags to know about the town treasury and said it includes a purpose of rewarding heroic types for heroisms.
Helsa: Possibly there's trouble, though. Did we check the door of exiting this tower after our golem destruction? What if its lockage remains?
Luce: As long as creepy dark energies are gone, ropes can be used to climb down from the top of the tower.
Dungeon Master: Do you go with the exiters, or stay helping the out-from-pit climbers? Or, a better question: do players care about discovering the story of how to exit dozens and dozens of people from a creepy tower?
Pilchard: I am unexcited about this story.
Plummet: I am partly excited! I can Feather Fall many townpeople to the ground from the tower top!
Grolka: Seems like wasting spells when there is rope they can climb. And a front door, possibly unlocked.
Luce: Also, I read that spell because I have it. You can only cast when you observe people begin falling. So to Feather Fall townpeople to the ground, first you must convince them, "Townpeople! Jump off the tower! I will cast a spell and stop you from dying. It's a promise!" Probably not many takers.
Plummet: Oh. Then I am less excited.
Helsa: Seems less like Dungeons and Dragons, more like Logistics and Lethargies.
Rouge: Also, Rouge probably has more interest for dividing treasure than being a stair-guide.
Luce: Luce also.
Dungeon Master: Excellent. Did all players read about the available items?
Pilchard: Yes.
Plummet: The first couple. Then, kind of tiring.
Grolka: Most sounded boring to an orc of barbarism. I did read Rings of Jumping and of Swimming.
Helsa: Yes. I may have read about some additional items with alphabetical proximity also, just because reading is an enjoyment.
Rouge: I read the ones with names of enticing.
Bingly: Bingly is interested only in spellbooks. The other listings didn't sound cool.
Luce: I read about items over the shoulder of Helsa's player.
Dungeon Master: Good. Each player write down your character's top three choices in order. Spellbooks don't count, by the way. One is cursed and the other could be shared among mages.
Pilchard: Done.
Plummet: Me too!
Grolka: Here.
Helsa: Enumerated.
Rouge: This was pretty easy.
Bingly: I'm done.
Luce: Yes as well.
Dungeon Master: All right. First choices that only one individual picked: Grolka, Ring of Jumping, Rouge, Cloak of Elvenkind, Bingly, Robe of Useful Items ... here is the list of robe patches.
Bingly: Cool!
Dungeon Master: I randomly determine the winner of the item everyone else chose first: Pearl of Power goes to Luce.
Pilchard: Boo. She's not even really a mage.
Luce: Rude, but my Arcane Tricksterism needs extra spells more than your magedom.
Dungeon Master: Now second choices make it easy to award remaining items. Pilchard, Bag of Holding, Plummet, Ring of Swimming, Helsa, +1 Dagger. 
Pilchard: I'm good with that.
Plummet: Now if I Feather Fall into water, I can swim there.
Grolka: Satisfied.
Helsa: "Is this a dagger I see before me?"
Rouge: The Dungeon Master said so, didn't she? Rouge is pleased with new Elvenly sneakiness.
Bingly: I won't let her read this list of patches, then. She might be less pleased.
Rouge: What? Why? Now I must read them!
Bingly: Should have picked it, then. It's even cooler than I expected!
Luce: I am happy with my Pearl.
Dungeon Master: Now it's back to tower exit results. The door -- unlocked! So all pit prisoners arrive outside before you. Matavor and Arngo have asked directions to the remains of their sad starved skeleton friend, Glomulus.
Pilchard: I think we can provide those.
Rouge: No directions to the plundered grave of Rovatam, though. I warn them to avoid heaps of rock and dirt and grass. "Dangerous poisonous snakes! They're trouble!"
Dungeon Master: Town citizens have attempted different actions: some, off to the ruins to explore for their homes. Others, following Mayor Moneybags to retrieve the treasury in case it remains. They don't announce this, though, so you don't know it. A few others loiter with nervousness around the tower. It's creepy, so they don't like being near it. Yet the ruins also creepify them -- possibly they could find signs of events very tragic that occurred during their imprisonment. Also, they're discussing the absence of food. Manglor and Ardman the adventurers find commonality with Matavor and Arngo and accompany them. Possibly they'll form a new party.
Helsa: Hm. A commonality I notice is, each pair has a "Ma-" name and an "Ar-" name. Is this also what they found similar?
Dungeon Master: Unplanned, but yes! 50 experience points! Manglor especially is full of superstition. These similar names suggest interferings of a deity to him. Meanwhile! Some townpeople wish to depart their ruined village and therefore speak to Guendry Guidestar. She is a guide of legendary knowledge and says she will lead them south.
Plummet: Should we join this journey?
Grolka: Seems indirect. Braddlebrick Bay is our goal, yes? Isn't it west, not south?
Helsa: It is, but remember our location on a giant plateau. Maybe there's no climbing down its steep sides to the west.
Luce: If only someone of legendary guiding knowledge could advice us about that.
Bingly: I will ask this Guendry Guidestar about it, then. As a merchant, I probably experienced travels with guides before. What does she look like?
Dungeon Master: A gnome, her hair in four purple poof-balls around her head's top. Dice say ... an 11 out of 18 in attractiveness. Her clothing and accessories suggest she's outdoorsy in type.
Bingly: I ask if she would like to see my bat. Even if only an 11, her gnomishness means, she's in my size category.
Dungeon Master: Make a roll of Persuading to entice her. It's with disadvantage because your question interrupts discussions with townspeople and seems very detour-ish.
Bingly: My roll is 14.
Dungeon Master: She rejects your offer of bat-viewing, but not in a tone of malicious. "Anything else?" she asks.
Bingly: I tell her our destination is Braddlebrick Bay. "It's west, right? Can we just go that way?"
Dungeon Master: She takes out a map and shows the plateau on it. Here's a closeup.

Pilchard: It's labeled this way?
Dungeon Master: No. You conclude those things as she tells you, "Take the wreckaged road west, then turn left at the next wreckaged road, then follow a river to go westerly again. You'll end up here." She points at the spot that is question marked in my picture.
Plummet: Since it's question marked, I ask what that spot is.
Dungeon Master: 20 experience points! This sort of asking is why it is marked. Guendry Guidestar explains that a fortress and stairway are there where the river flows off the plateau. "It has dangers, though, so be careful!"
Pilchard: This map ... it's very small and my eyes are old. Can we receive a closer-up?
Dungeon Master: It's allowable.

Pilchard: I ask Guendry Guidestar, "What is this grey splotch where the roads and river meet? Possibly a town?"
Plummet: Or a parking lot of large size!
Rouge: For parking what?
Plummet: I said "lot," not "what."
Rouge: No, I meant --
Dungeon Master: Guendry Guidestar explains it is a town. Quick! What is this town's name and why did she not say, "At so-and-so town, find the river"?
Grolka: It is called, "Town of Bih'chen and Monen." Those are the road names that meet there. She did not mention this town due to recommending we avoid it.
Bingly: So why did she tell us to turn left at "a" road instead of at "Bih'chen Road"?
Grolka: Because it is wreckaged, obviously. So, no sign naming it.
Luce: Also, if she called it Bih'chen Road, probably our expectations would be too high for its quality.
Dungeon Master: Excellent reasons! 30 experience points each, Grolka and Luce.
Bingly: No experience for asking Grolka's player a set-up question?
Dungeon Master: This question -- it sounded dubious about Guendry Guidestar's choice to description it the way she did. With legendary skills, her directions must have been appropriate.
Bingly: True.
Dungeon Master: But! Still there remains the mystery of why she recommends its avoidance. Who can say?
Grolka: The townspeople complain about everything. Also, they aspire to make others complain. So if you go there, they will give bad directions about the river.
Dungeon Master: Exceptional! But no extra experience, because you explained a mystery created by your previous explanation. A Dungeon Master of suspicion might think the first explanation intended more opportunities for bonus experiencing.
Grolka: This mistrust is woundful to me.
Dungeon Master: Sorry. A Dungeon Master must be careful of crafty players. Soon, everyone adopts a strategy of, "Here's my explaining for the situation ... oh! There is a hole in it shaped just like another opportunity for explaining! How did this happen?"
Grolka: Then can I at least have experience for inventing this strategy?
Dungeon Master: 5 experience. But I will deduct them if you use it again!
Helsa: With explanations complete, is it time for exiting the town of ruination?
Rouge: Since I don't know the mayor went to retrieve town funds, I vote yes.
Bingly: Same. My bat has been spurned, so no more need to discuss things with Guendry Guidestar.
Luce: Before we leave, though -- where is Milvicent Ox-Reiner? With us or elsewhere?
Dungeon Master: 100 experience points for finally remembering a wagon-driver's accompanying!
Pilchard: Sweet. I'm going to make sure to remember her next time.
Plummet: That's backwardish, though. It's only worth so much experiencing because we forget so much. 
Rouge: Yes! We must remember to forget her many times, then remember to remember her just when it deserves so much experience in bonus!
Bingly: As long as we don't end up in battles over who gets to remember and receive bonuses.
Dungeon Master: Don't worry, the Dungeon Master has solved it. Milvicent Ox-Reiner is going south with Guendry Guidestar and the others.
Plummet: What! Why?
Helsa: Would you choose a party of such failure to notice you so many times?
Luce: I'd have nerves over it. What if the wrong moment of forgetting me meant, it's curtains for Milvicent Ox-Reiner?
Plummet: I'm going to miss her.
Bingly: Me too. Probably around ten sessions from now.
Dungeon Master: 20 experience points to Helsa for diagnosing the choice of Milvicent. Now, you can exit the town of a slightly less creepy black tower and resume journeying to Braddlebrick Bay.
Pilchard: Seems like we've been in this town for so long. In a fun way! But still ...
Plummet: Only a few sessions, right?
Dungeon Master: It's a true accusation though, because a dashboard of blogging says the first session of this ruined town exceeded a year in the past. 
Pilchard: I hope the Town of Bih-chen and Monen does not occupy us so long.
Plummet: I thought we weren't going there, though?
Helsa: Such advicing came from legendary directioner Guendry Guidestar. But it's questionable whether adventurers of our sort are good at taking directions.
Dungeon Master: Following the westward wreckaged road is a direction so simple, though, so the journey renewal begins quickly. Now, I must roll for encounters of the random sort. None. Time to camp, then!
Pilchard: Have we reached a Bih'chen road yet?
Dungeon Master: Not today. Who is watching for each shift of nighttime?
Grolka: A barbaric orc can watch first.
Helsa: A ranger next. Remember, I am elvishly able to manage two watches, not just one.
Dungeon Master: The dice indicate encounterage at the first watch of a ranger. Who will name a page number from the Manual of --
Bingly: Wait! Here's a note!
Dungeon Master: Hmm. Okay, the Dungeon Master agrees with this. Helsa, roll Perceiving.
Helsa: I feel suspicion at this note. 16 is my total.
Dungeon Master: You hear sounds of large boundings, and also, ribbitting. Three giant toads appear near your camp! Roll to initiate with them!
Helsa: 18.
Dungeon Master: Giant toads are 8. What does Helsa do?
Helsa: By Bonus Actioning, I cast Hunter's Mark. Also, I yell for others to awaken. Then, I shoot my bow with a twang! 17 should hit a giant toad, I hope. Ugh. Might as well not be a hit -- 3 points from arrow damage, 1 from Force.
Dungeon Master: Bound! Bound! Toads leap into camp! The arrowed one bites at Helsa -- 16 is the total.
Helsa: I am bitten.
Dungeon Master: 8 points of Piercing damage! 6 points of Poison damage! Also, you are grappled by toad jaws. The next toad bites at Luce. Also a hit! The damage of biting is 7 this time. Poison -- 6 again! Plus, grappling toad teeth!
Luce: Ow. I subtract most from my Temporary Hit Points.
Dungeon Master: The last victim is -- Rouge Hornytail the Black! This toad is clumsy, though. Only 11 on its attack.
Rouge: Even asleep, I can evade a toad.
Dungeon Master: Initiate!
Pilchard: 1.
Plummet: Eek! 4!
Grolka: 21. I am barbarically quick.
Helsa: 5.
Rouge: 20.
Bingly: Ooh, Bingly gets 18!
Luce: Luce also.
Dungeon Master: Toads are poor -- still on 8.
Pilchard: That's better than most of us.
Grolka: I am enraged by toads as a Bonus Action. I leap up and Battleaxe at the toad swallowing Luce. Only an 11.
Dungeon Master: Toads are warty but have weakling skin. You hit.
Grolka: 15 damage of the Slashing type. Also, a Battleaxe has the property of Topple. It's a Constitution save of 13 to avoid being proned.
Rouge: Rouge attacks the same creature. I will Shortsword it and then Bonus Action to Dagger it. Both hit!
Luce: In my studies of rules, though, the Dagger's Nick property means you can add it to your Attack Action and not waste a Bonus Action.
Rouge: So studious -- thank you! My damage is 13 total for the two attacks.
Dungeon Master: Luce or Bingly may act next, then.
Bingly: I will let Luce go first, since a toad is gnawing her.
Luce: My action is the same as Rouge's ... my damage totals 17.
Dungeon Master: The toad is slain.
Bingly: I will Firebolt the toad that chews our ranger. I hit ... only 2 damage.
Dungeon Master: Toads may act! The one gnawing Helsa swallows her! She is now Blinded and Restrained, and at the end of the toad's turn, she receives 11 points of Acid damage. Digest!
Helsa: I request the rulebook to discover how Blinding and Restraining impair me.
Rouge: Here.
Dungeon Master: Last toad! It has 6 options for attacking a character ... Bingly!
Bingly: Yikes!
Dungeon Master: You are bitten. 3 points of toad toothing, 7 points of poisonousness. Plus grappled!
Bingly: Help!
Helsa: My turn? I have poor chances of hitting, but still I draw my Shortsword and attack. Ah, fortune! I hit, and the damage is 11.
Plummet: I don't like our ranger getting swallowed! I will cast Magic Missile with an extra missile for extra-helpfulness. Damage is 15 points!
Pilchard: That leaves me. I attempt Witch Bolting the ranger-swallower. Success! So poor in damage, though. Only 4.
Dungeon Master: Time to initiate again.
Pilchard: 18!
Plummet: 3.
Grolka: 17.
Helsa: 20. Our average exceeds the norm so far.
Rouge: No jinxing! Ugh. I have been jinxed. Only an 8. I am slow as toads.
Bingly: 19.
Luce: 7.
Dungeon Master: Toads ... 21!
Helsa: The fickleness of fate! I almost said, "With my usual luck, my 20 means toads will get 21." Then I said, "No jinxing, Helsa!"
Rouge: That was double jinxing!
Dungeon Master: Toads! One gulps Bingly! Digestion of 7 points! It hops away to enjoy its meal! 30 feet of distance. Helsa, you receive Digestion of 11 added points. And your toad Dashes away -- 60 feet distant!
Helsa: I feel danger from this choice, but I attack instead of curing myself. I hit! Maximum damage also!
Dungeon Master: The toad expires. You can crawl from its gaping mouth.
Helsa: I do so!
Bingly: On my turn, I cast Dragon's Breath and breathe fire on the toad from inside.
Plummet: Don't cook yourself!
Bingly: The spell does not say the breath is reflectable.
Dungeon Master: True. But it also does not say being Dragon-Breathed from inside prevents a Saving Throw. Inexperienced Dungeon Master moment! Do we apply sense of the common type, or ignore it because the rules don't say so? In the first case, no Saving Throw for a toad, but Bingly risks cookery. In the second case, the toad can roll, but Bingly is safe.
Bingly: As safe as being digested by a toad allows.
Pilchard: I recommend -- both! Bingly can point his head back out the toad's throat. The toad thinks, "Uh-oh!" and opens its mouth to try letting some of the Dragon Breath out. No worries for Bingly, Saving Throw for a toad. Or Bingly can breathe right at the guts of his gulper. No chance for it to avoid damage, but he takes some also.
Dungeon Master: Genius! 50 experience points.
Pilchard: Thank you.
Bingly: I am half digested already. I point my breath toward the throat. Damage of 10 points, or 5 if it saves.
Dungeon Master: I think it is Disadvantaged at this save ... and it fails.
Pilchard: I move nearer the toad and Witch Bolt it. Better damage this time! 12.
Grolka: Can I reach the toad this round?
Dungeon Master: Maybe. Roll Athletics to achieve it.
Grolka: 21. Good? Chop! Natural 20! 24 damage.
Dungeon Master: Very dead. Probably, it's good to end the session here.
Bingly: Wait! First, Bingly says, "So surprised I am to see these creatures here! I would not expect them before reaching the Bih'chen Road."
Plummet: Really???
Bingly: Like, Toadally!
Luce: I take Psychic damage.
Pilchard: Me too.
Plummet: Boo!
Grolka: Seconded.
Helsa: Thirded.
Rouge: The next time a note is passed by Bingly, I will grab and eat it.
Dungeon Master: Oh! Toad experience! 600 total points, so 100 for each character.
Pilchard: Thanks for math so generous! Divided by 7 it would only be 80-something.
Dungeon Master: It's only divided 6 times. None for Bingly. A Dungeon Master should not be made into a punster's accomplice!
Bingly: It was worth it.

Tenth Dungeon! Towering Conclusion!

Readers! With destruction last time of a slimy tentacle-having monster-statue-golem of slimy black stone, is the creepy tower now overcome? Let's discover together!

Dungeon Master: The black statue golem is crashed and shattered! Again, its body and limbs are only of stone -- no slime drippage anymore.What do you do?
Rouge: I look at the crashed body of this golem. Any treasure leaking from the cracks? Any treasure under the spot where it was standing on the brief platform?
Dungeon Master: It looks very broken and rock-ish. The platform has a smooth and clean spot where the statue used to be -- no treasurely signs.
Rouge: In this case, I hurry upstairs to make sure Bingly is not confiscating all loot for himself.
Luce: I proceed in that direction also.
Pilchard: Are the marbles still in the eyes of the statue?
Dungeon Master: No, seems like it absorbed them to do its goleming.
Pilchard: Upstairs for me also, then.
Plummet: I follow my sibling!
Grolka: Likewise.
Helsa: Also likewise.
Bingly: Am I still listening to a ghost describe the powers of ghostishness?
Dungeon Master: No. After telling you several things about ghosts, the wizardly spirit opens its eyes widely and says, "Ah ... it is done! Now, time for me to rest." Then it fades from view. Very soon after, you hear footsteps on stairs outside the room of the ghost.
Bingly: I will hurry into the last room of this floor and see if any cool items of wizardry are there.
Dungeon Master: It looks like this:

Dungeon Master: Inside is a bed, furnishings such as a dresser and desk, a chest, and in the ceiling, a panel long and thin. It has a dangly pulling cord.
Bingly: Like a ladder for climbing to an attic?
Dungeon Master: Yes, very like that! 20 experience points!
Pilchard: I notice in this picture an area at the north we did not observe before.
Plummet: Looks like it has pie in it! Or pizza ...
Dungeon Master: Oops! This is an error of displaying too much. You can't see inside that area; it's only wooden walls to your eyeing.
Pilchard: I will pretend I haven't seen it.
Plummet: I will pretend I don't want pie or pizza -- so much effort!
Dungeon Master: 10 experience points for these pretendings. Be careful to maintain them, or I will revoke your points!
Bingly: Do I observe treasure before companions arrive?
Dungeon Master: No. But on the desk is a book of spells.
Bingly: I look for cool ones.
Dungeon Master: Too many spells to find them quickly. But you do see a note, written hastily on the first page of the book.
Bingly: I read it!
Dungeon Master: It says, "I feel so cursed! Probably this spellbook is cursed too! It's a bad idea to read it without fixing the curse."
Bingly: Boo!
Pilchard: There is a spell for removal of curses.
Plummet: Whew! How is this spell named?
Bingly: Probably "Remove Curse."
Luce: Seems like we solved this problem speedily.
Bingly: No, it's a spell only castable at level 5. Two levels away for us! Also, it doesn't work on magical objects. Does that include spellbooks?
Dungeon Master: Uncertain. I'll have to look in rules ... but my thinking is, what object is more magical than a book that is only full of magic spells?
Plummet: Yikes, so logical! I'm disappointed there's no way for us to gain this book's spells.
Rouge: Oh well. Guess we'll have to tear out page one and sell the book to someone.
Bingly: Definitely not! Even a cursed spellbook remains cool. Maybe it's even cooler.
Pilchard: Also, a Wish spell can fix most things.
Plummet: Ooh! How soon can we cast this?
Bingly: Level 17.
Plummet: So, never.
Luce: Really? But I thought 2700 experience is enough for level 4, and we are almost this experienced. Isn't level 17 just 4 times greater? Less than 12,000, I think even without calculator-ing.
Pilchard: No, every level costs more and more experience. Bingly, how much is Level 17?
Bingly: Hmm. Here is the right page ...
Luce: 225,000? Goodness!
Plummet: No, it's badness! Like I said, that's a never available amount.
Helsa: In nine dungeonings so far, our experience is less than 3,000. Math says we will need hundreds of dungeonings for such a level.
Dungeon Master: Too much work even for a diligent Dungeon Master to create that many dungeonings!
Pilchard: It's okay, though. With more leveling, every monster is worth more experience also. Plus, there are magic items with Wishes in them. No need to wait until we are at 17 levels.
Plummet: But I don't want to wait at all!
Rouge: Solved! Should be very quick to tear out one page and sell a book.
Luce: Have the rest of us topped the stairs yet to find Bingly searching for treasures without us?
Dungeon Master: About the stairs, yes. But about the treasures, you only find him looking at a book. Sounds like his expression is a mixture of emotions.
Bingly: Yes! This wizard -- I'm assuming he was so powerful. He must have many spells in his book. Cool! But they're unusable because of a curse ... less cool. But! The curse is historical and has a story that's tragic and heroic simultaneously. Extra cool! But now here is Rouge approaching -- she'll want to sell this extra cool book for treasure money. So uncool!
Grolka: I ask Bingly, "That rude and ghostish wizard -- where is he?" I'm ready to fight if he offers more gestures of insult.
Bingly: Gone. He vanished in a spiritual fashion.
Luce: So he ghosted us?
Helsa: Literally.
Rouge: Do I see the chest mentioned earlier? I examine it immediately for traps and lockedness.
Dungeon Master: Roll Perceiving.
Rouge: 22!
Dungeon Master: No traps or lockedness.
Rouge: I open it!
Dungeon Master: Inside, you find these things: a dagger that is magically +1, a Robe of Useful Items, a Bag of Holding, a Cloak of Elvenkind, a Ring of Jumping, a Ring of Swimming, and a Pearl of Power. Also ... another spellbook! Also some normal clothes and personal goods.
Rouge: No one has remarked about overlooking my shoulder during this chest exploration. Can I attempt to sneak one or two small items before others see?
Plummet: Boo! No fair!
Rouge: Very fair! You all know this about Rouge! If you give her opportunities, she will always accept your giftings!
Dungeon Master: For actual fairness, let's Initiate to see who might enter the room near in time to Rouge. 
Pilchard: 6.
Plummet: 9.
Grolka: 12. However, I remarked about the ghost to Bingly, so I must be near, correct?
Dungeon Master: True! Roll again because you have Advantage.
Plummet: Whoa! Look at that!
Grolka: It's a 20, increased to 22 by my dexterity.
Helsa: Exceptional! I am sadly at 8.
Rouge: Sigh. I also am at 8. Unless I gain Advantage by declaring my actions first?
Dungeon Master: Hmm. I say partial Advantage. Roll again, but using the die of 12 sides.
Rouge: Grr. It's a 1.
Bingly: My Initiating is also a natural 20! No bonus for me, so that's just a 20.
Luce: 6 for Luce.
Dungeon Master: So! Rouge is before Pilchard and Luce. All others will be able to roll Perceiving to attempt discovery of Rouge's pilferage. This only applies to characters who feel a desire to monitor a Chaotic Chaotic tiefling's activities. Rouge, roll your Sleight of Hand first.
Rouge: My total is 20.
Bingly: I am looking still at the cool cursed spellbook, so no need for me to roll. Any other notes? Such as in margins or at the back?
Dungeon Master: Yes. On one page, a marginal writing says, "What a great spell!" Who else observes Rouge?
Plummet: My attempt is only 11.
Grolka: Mine is 19 + 3. 22! So a barbaric orc's eye overcomes tiefling treacherousness.
Helsa: My total exceeds 20 also ... 22.
Dungeon Master: Which item or items did you attempt sleighting of, Rouge?
Rouge: Probably just the pearl, since it looks most treasurely. My assumption is, I do not know the exact identities of these items to decide based on their magics.
Dungeon Master: This is true. So, Grolka and Helsa observe a pearl pilfered into a pocket of Rouge.
Grolka: I say, "Are you sure you want that pearl to be your treasure share, Rouge? Maybe something else would help you achieve your thieveries better."
Helsa: I say, "Truly, Rouge, in this case orcish advice gives appearance of soundness."
Rouge: Only cleaning the pearl of sticky substance in my pocket. Here, it is now unclingy. Feel for yourself.
Pilchard: Meanwhile, I am saying, "Oh! Is that another spellbook?"
Bingly: My attention is drawn. "Where?!"
Dungeon Master: Looking closer, you see the cover of this book from a chest says, "My First Spellbook."
Pilchard: Looking even closer, do I see what spells are inside?
Plummet: Or do we see a note of cursedness?
Bingly: While my character has looked for notes, I have looked at rules ... seems only if you cast Identify can you read the spells that occupy someone else's book. This makes Identify a much cooler spell than I thought! Now I wish I had it.
Pilchard: I have it.
Plummet: Same.
Helsa: Siblings who spell together, do well together. From this evidence, anyway.
Dungeon Master: 10 experience points for this clever saying!
Helsa: Excellent. Thank you.
Dungeon Master: Also: all characters roll for Perceiving.
Pilchard: 17.
Plummet: 9, foo.
Grolka: 11.
Helsa: 19.
Rouge: 8. Clearly my attention remains on treasures. Except I am also attending to whether others are looking at me. If something Perceived distracts them, I may try more Sleighting of Hands.
Bingly: 12.
Luce: 15.
Dungeon Master: All who rolled more than 14 hear some sound. It is distanty, and a little echo-ish.
Pilchard: What about dangerous? Does it sound that way too?
Dungeon Master: Hard to tell.
Helsa: I attempt to locate this sound.
Luce: Same. But first I will shush others. "Quiet, please! I hear something!"
Dungeon Master: More Perceiving rolls from your characters, then.
Helsa: 11.
Luce: 15.
Dungeon Master: Both think the sound is louder near the pipe in the laboratorical room.
Helsa: I listen closely to it. But! Not so close it will burn my ear if it's a heating pipe.
Dungeon Master: No heating. But listening so close, you think you hear faint voices. "Help!" they cry. Also, "It's dark and scary!"
Pilchard: Hmm. I remember a wizard's story of people lost in a pit.
Rouge: Yes! Hurry, we must save them! I will be right there after taking the time and care to close this chest.
Bingly: Do we know where this pit exists, though?
Luce: In the basement, yes?
Plummet: But where are stairs to this basement? I don't remember seeing any.
Rouge: Down, obviously. Everyone must search the bottom floor, immediately! I will just be one moment closing this chest before following.
Pilchard: Are you sure you want to delay, Rouge? Could be even more treasures in a basement pit, you know.
Rouge: So true! Okay, I have closed the chest. Let's stair our way down and search.
Dungeon Master: 
Plummet: Wait ... seems like so far to stair down to an area we searched before. What about searching the mystery area of just walls that we don't know has pie or pizza behind it?
Helsa: Sensible!
Rouge: I will search one of those walls.
Bingly: I will search one also.
Luce: Similarly.
Dungeon Master: Nothing is found, but the idea was good. 20 experience points for Plummet.
Plummet: Yay!
Pilchard: Hmm. My character does not know of a pie-or-pizza symbol, but my Dungeon Masterly experience makes me think of a spiraling stairs symbol. Any chance we could also say we hurry downstairs and search but find nothing?
Dungeon Master: Yes! 20 experience points for suggesting this efficiency. You search the floor with great care and find no basement.
Grolka: Could be there's a door to this basement outside in the back of the tower.
Luce: But we can't get out of the tower yet.
Pilchard: Are we sure? I try the door out.
Dungeon Master: Still locked.
Plummet: If a way to the roof is discovered, I can Feather Fall us to the ground!
Bingly: We know where a possible attic ladder is! Back upstairs, everyone!
Dungeon Master: Now you are back upstairs, then.
Rouge: I look carefully ceilingward to see if this attic ladder pulling cord is actually a trap-activating pulling cord. My Perceiving roll is 19.
Dungeon Master: Seems very attic-laddery.
Grolka: I will pull it, then.
Dungeon Master: It opens! There is a folded ladder ready to extend.
Grolka: I unfold it and climb up -- with my battle axe in one hand.
Dungeon Master: You find an additional floor! Observe it!

Dungeon Master: Mostly, it's empty. A ladder reaches up to a trap-door in the ceiling. Northward, a spiral staircase leads down!
Pilchard: Aha!
Dungeon Master: One more thing, though! Also, there is a very old skeleton lying on the floor. It's clothing, very similar to the wizardly ghost's.
Grolka: I say, "There's a wizardly body up here. Looks like it may have treasure!"
Rouge: I climb quickly up.
Bingly: I will go last climbing up.
Dungeon Master: All right, if all climb up, what next?
Rouge: Searching the body for treasure!
Dungeon Master: Sadly none.
Rouge: What! I glare at an orcish barbarian.
Grolka: Sorry. Seemed promising to me.
Helsa: I go to the spiral staircase. Any sounds coming up from it? My Perceiving roll is 15.
Dungeon Master: Yes! Similar distanty voice sounds to before, but not so echo-ish or pipe-sounding. "Please help us!" and "Is anyone there?" Those sorts of sayings.
Pilchard: We should help these imprisoned voices.
Rouge: Yes! After making sure all treasure from the bedroom is divided.
Bingly: My agreement is with our thiefling tiefling, in this case.
Luce: Yes. We should carefully search all furnishings in that room for treasure not yet found.
Dungeon Master: In this case, an extra 840 gold pieces are found inside the Bag of Holding. When you climb down the spiraling stairs, you find this completion of the first floor, with a basement pit:

Dungeon Master: Inside are many people, crying for help! Townspeople, adventurer people, ancient victims of a cult people. So many of them! The basement seen through the pit is as wide as the tower and all space there contains squeezed-together people.
Rouge: Each should pay 10 gold pieces to climb up using our ropes.
Pilchard: Maybe adventurers could. But probably that's too much for townspeople.
Rouge: I will accept IOU writings from those who are too poor.
Bingly: Some probably have no writing skills.
Rouge: I will write for them. Not my fault though if I become careless and sometimes write IOU 20 or IOU 100 gold pieces. They should have learned to write instead of forcing so much work on their rescuers.
Dungeon Master: Now ... to prepare for next time, everyone name one person rescued from this pit!
Pilchard: Looking back through notes, we know one is Matavor, an adventurer sister of Rovatam who was eaten by river monsters.
Plummet: Shouldn't we name original persons instead of some already named by the Dungeon Master?
Pilchard: It's one option. Another is to name this person whose brother Rouge dug up the grave of. Could lead to amusing results.
Rouge: Hey! In this case, I name a powerful and easy-to-anger adventurer called Manglor of Mage-Mashing, who always makes trouble when meeting mages.
Luce: Ah, then I name Ardman Pardonbeggar, a companion of Manglor so apologetic and regretful of his partner's mage-mashing. He carries a special pouch of funds just for compensating the parties of mages mangled by Manglor.
Dungeon Master: Pause while the Dungeon Master captures these in notes! Okay, continue.
Plummet: Um ... I name the mayor of this town. Mayor ... Mayor Moneybags! She knows where the town treasury is buried, to reward rescuers who free so many townspeople from a pit.
Grolka: I name Clombert, a farmer of substantial endowment who has a thing for orcish barbarians. He is ugly by human standards but appealing to an orc.
Helsa: I name Guendry Guidestar. She is very knowledgeable of this plateau and the best ways to quickly reach a way down on the western side, toward our destination land of ... what was that land again?
Pilchard: In the notes, Braddlebrick Bay. Hmm.
Plummet: What?
Pilchard: Also in the notes, I am reminded there's an ox-driver with us. Milvicent Ox-Reiner. Seems we forgot about her between earlier sessions.
Plummet: I remember her now! I hope she's all right!
Bingly: I will name Milvicent Ox-Reiner to explain her absenting. She went to pee at some point and looked too close to the mysterious dark energies of the tower, so was teleported into the pit.
Dungeon Master: Exceptional! 50 experience points. Who is left? Is that everyone? Yes, seven rescued persons named. There will be discussions with them in the next session. Also, as reward for completing a tower of mysterious and creepy darkness, all characters reach level 4 in experience!
Plummet: Woohoo!
Dungeon Master: Please advance your characters and also read about the magic items found, so all characters know which item they wish to argue for.
Rouge: I want the Bag of Holding with 840 gold pieces in it.
Dungeon Master: The gold pieces are separate. 120 for each part member.
Rouge: Boo. Then I will have to read about all items.
Bingly: Excellent Dungeon Mastering, Dungeon Master!
Luce: Yes! I approve!
Pilchard: Likewise!
Plummet: So fun!
Dungeon Master: Thank you all!