Thirteenth Dungeon! Is This One The Unluckiest???

(This part is for readers who need refreshment of memories. These brave adventurers! They've found a city of people-less appearance -- very old and in abandonment. Near the gate, a building appeals to them, some thinking it might be bankish. Inside, though, it's a temple! They begin to explore:

There. All done with aiding in remembrance!)

Pilchard: I wish to examine that altar-top tome.
Plummet: Me too! Is it sizeable for sharing?
Dungeon Master: Yes, but an altar of this sort has elevation. See the platform drawn surrounding it?
Pilchard: Sure. But unless it is giantish, seems like it shouldn't be hard to climb.
Dungeon Master: Stairs are on the angle-y sides. Only three or four of them, but it's awkward to get up if you do not go and use them.
Pilchard: My eagerness to examine ancient scribings exceeds the off-putting of awkwardness.
Plummet: The same for me as for my brother. Is it so awkward to demand Acrobatting?
Dungeon Master: No. You clamber upon the platform with no need for rolling. What do others do?
Grolka: I guard barbarically.
Helsa: Still, I'm watching the street for any approachers.
Rouge: Since there's no box of donating, I hurry toward the goldish goblet. Really, an earlier description of that and I could have skipped the time-waste of box-seeking.
Bingly: Windows of colored glass seem cool and unusual to me. I stroll leftwardish and then along the wall, seeing what sort of glass it is and how the world outside looks in each color.
Luce: I move to this door that's neighboring the platform. I intend searching it for traps.
Dungeon Master: Plume mages! The book is open at a middling page. What do you do?
Pilchard: It's okay to start unsequentially, but first I would look at the cover for its title.
Plummet: Don't lose the opened-to place! If someone left it open there, maybe it's important.
Pilchard: I put my hand between pages and lift the front cover. What's there?
Dungeon Master: Words. They are languaged in common, but an old, old sort. Religion might help in recognizing them.
Pilchard: My roll for religion is 24.
Plummet: Wow!
Dungeon Master: It is the fourth of seven religious writings about a seven-souls deity of light. Who can name this god or goddess?
Pilchard: Prisma! And if it's the fourth, does that mean it's green?
Dungeon Master: Excellent! 100 experience points! Can someone invent a name of this holy green tome?
Plummet: Um ... Book of Green Goddess?
Rouge: Sounds like salad dressing recipes.
Dungeon Master: Hmm. Not sure it's an experience-earning book name.
Helsa: Ah, how about The Emerald Prismatechism?
Plummet: Jeepers, that's way better!
Dungeon Master: Yes, studious and religious-sounding! 100 experience points. These words make it sound intriguing and unique!
Helsa: I strove for a flavor of esoteric.
Dungeon Master: Esoteric! I am writing this word down. It's worth several Dungeon Mastering experience points, I think.
Pilchard: Upon awareness of this title, I open the tome to its original condition and see what is on the open page.
Dungeon Master: So many words in an old language! It's slow to read. While you do, Bingly strolls past windows. First this red one. Through it, the street before the temple appears only in a variety of reddishness. Next, this orange one. Through it, a side street is see-able! You haven't observed this street directly before. Seems pretty empty and ordinary, though, except for orangeness.
Bingly: I tell everyone, "Hey, there's a side street that is empty and orangenary!"
Luce: I hear what you did there.
Dungeon Master: During Bingly's stroll from red to orange, Rouge is able to travel to the platform and ascend next to the altar and goblet. Luce goes near to the desired door. No more actions for either though until next round. For Grolka and Helsa, there's just more guarding without anything special noticed. Does everyone continue as described in the new round? If so, Luce arrives at a door and must roll Perceiving, and Rouge must say what she is doing now that the goblet is close.
Pilchard: Still reading.
Plummet: Also reading. Probably the page next to Pilchard's, because it's easier than cramming together to read just one simultaneous page.
Grolka: More guarding.
Helsa: Similar, but with a bow.
Rouge: Obviously, I will grab up the goblet and look at it.
Luce: My Perceiving roll is 19.
Dungeon Master: These things happen all together, then! The Plume mages read partial pages -- seems like a prayer for a returning of some kind. After walking in front of a yellow window and seeing a yellow side-street, Bingly walks into the light of a green window. Luce finds no trap upon the searched door. And when Rouge removes the goblet, a magical voice speaks from mid-air, saying, "Place back the holy goblet, or divine punishment will be yours!" This voice has a sound of glass-break and bell-ring in one. What do you do?
Rouge: Does the goblet have the heavy of gold?
Dungeon Master: Yes. Also, I did not mention, it has seven gems of differing colors on it.
Rouge: I this case, I definitely run doorward with it.
Dungeon Master: Time to roll Initiating, then!
Pilchard: 6.
Plummet: Also 6. 
Grolka: Slow mage siblings. A barbarian will do better ... 12.
Helsa: Ranger Initiating on 14.
Rouge: Watch this! A die of 18 plus 4 is 22!
Bingly: My 6 plus zero is 6. So more than just mage siblings are matchingly sluggish.
Luce: Hmm. So many sixes. Are you sure you're mages and not tieflings? My Initiating is 12.
Dungeon Master: Rouge begins this round of acting, then.
Rouge: Quick speeding for an exit! Movement of 30, then Bonus Acting to Dash another 30 out the door --
Dungeon Master: Bonk! Make a Dexterity Saving Throw or there's damage from an invisible doorway barrier. If damaged, you will also be Prone.
Rouge: 14.
Dungeon Master: This is sufficient.
Rouge: I say, "Just kidding!" Then, my Action is a Dash back as I came.
Dungeon Master: You make it partway. Now, enemies Initiate! From both windows of green glass, inside windows separate from the frame and begin motion! As they move, their outlines become humanoid-ish, though very tall. However, they continue their windowly flatness. One slashes at Bingly! 11 is the roll.
Pilchard: Obviously, it's a hit for a clumsy-ish mage.
Dungeon Master: Slash! It's 10 points of Slashiness and 7 points of Forcefulness.
Bingly: Ow! This is very bad!
Dungeon Master: Plus, it gleams green light at you! Make a Save of the Dexterity sort.
Bingly: 1.
Dungeon Master: It's going to damage you for 10 of Poison! Unless ...
Bingly: Unless?
Dungeon Master: You feel it trying to deliver divine cursing on you. If you accept this curse, no damage.
Bingly: I accept!
Dungeon Master: When you do, suddenly there's no greenishness to the green window or golem. The street outside -- all grey in appearance! It's now very hard to see a golem.
Bingly: Not good, but not as ungood as losing all hit points in one round.
Dungeon Master: The second golem of glass moves here to attack Rouge! Slash! It hits with its flat, slashy hand. Zap! Ah, probably that's a miss with its ray of Poisonous green glow: 12. Damage from Shashing and Force is 20.
Rouge: So near death!
Dungeon Master: Helsa's turn.
Helsa: I see if an arrow will go in through the barrier that bonked Rouge. Definitely I miss the golem, but does my arrow enter a temple?
Dungeon Master: Yes. However, aiming was hard! From sidewise, the golem ... so flat! You would have been Disadvantaged if it wasn't already a miss.
Helsa: If I can, I move in toward Rogue to possibly cure her of wounds next round. Also, with Bonus Actioning, I cast Hunter's Mark on that golem. Always I do that in the wrong order.
Dungeon Master: You are able to move inside. Now, Grolka.
Grolka: Hmm. I yell that weapons of the smashing sort may help against glass. Then I attack with my battle axe because I have no smashing ones. A, that is after Bonus Acting to become enRaged. Now I attack Recklessly. 18 to hit, and also 18 damage if hitting succeeds. Also, there's a Topple from being battle axed, and it must save Constitutionally against DC 13 or become Prone.
Dungeon Master: It is damaged, but saves. Luce also acts at this time!
Luce: Probably unwise-ish, but I move here and try shortswording and daggering at it. 21 with a shortsword, only 9 with a dagger. Damage from shortswording is 12.
Dungeon Master: Mages may act!
Bingly: My action is carefully fleeing because I have been pained -- two ways! With Disengage, I move here, and by Bonus Acting, I cast a spell of Expeditious Retreating and can Dash. Since Helsa entered, I hope I can exit, and I move to pass out this door, waving a hand to avoid bonkage.
Dungeon Master: You are able!
Bingly: Whew! I say, "Everyone! Looks like these golems are Rouge's problem if we are okay leaving!"
Pilchard: I move here and attempt Witch Bolting the injured golem. Bolt! Natural 20! Damage is also 20!
Plummet: I move here at cast Magic Missile for 10 points of damage.
Dungeon Master: This is Force damage, yes? It is doubled against a golem!
Plummet: Yay!
Grolka: Somewhat less yay, because our attacking has done many hit points of damage to this one golem, and still it is goleming us.
Helsa: 
Rouge: Probably it's almost dead. Fight on, allies!
Dungeon Master: Initiating time again.
Pilchard: 15.
Plummet: 12.
Grolka: 3.
Helsa: 8.
Rouge: 21!
Bingly: 14.
Luce: 22! I will swap this roll with Grolka by using my Alert feat.
Grolka: Strategic! Thank you.
Dungeon Master: Golems are on 8.
Grolka: Again, I Recklessly and Savagely attack. Hit! 23 points!
Rouge: I Bonus Act to Disengage. Then I hurry to the altar and replace the goblet. "There! I've returned it! Now cease the attacking!" Then I shoot a Firebolt at the golem, but miss.
Pilchard: My Witch Bolt continues Bolting it for 4 points. Also, I cast Poison Spray at it, and hit for 10 points!
Dungeon Master: Seems like the Poisonousness does less than that.
Pilchard: Oh, right, its ray had Poisonousness too, didn't it?
Bingly: I attempt Firebolting it, and fail.
Plummet: Again, Magic Missile! 9 points!
Dungeon Master: The golem shatters into shards! Helsa and the golem are acting on 8. Helsa can go first.
Helsa: Thank you. I will Bonus Act to move my Hunter's mark to the other golem, then Shortbow it. Miss. Finally, I move back to this far wall and tell Rouge and Bingly to approach if they desire curing.
Dungeon Master: The golem moves here and attacks ... Luce! Slash! 11! Zap! 19!
Luce: I am Zapped but not Slashed. There's a Dexterity Save on being Zapped? I roll failure.
Dungeon Master: Damage is 12, or you feel you could accept a curse to avoid it.
Luce: I have Temporary Hit Points, so I am unwilling to be cursed. My switchery with Grolka means I am now last, correct? I Shortsword and Dagger the new golem. Miss with Shortsword, hit with Dagger, 13 points.
Dungeon Master: New Initiating.
Pilchard: 7.
Plummet: 5.
Grolka: 14.
Helsa: 14.
Rouge: 23!
Bingly: Holy moley, 20!
Luce: 19 for me. Again, I switch with Grolka.
Dungeon Master: Golems are at 6.
Rouge: I move and Bonus Act to Dash, arriving beside Helsa. Then, it's another Firebolt! Also another miss.
Bingly: I think I prefer Firebolting from outside above returning to a golem-infested room to compete with Rouge for curing. Hit! No, it's at Disadvantage from the side, isn't it? I miss the flat golem. What a pain!
Luce: Wait. I just realized you are making window puns, aren't you?
Bingly: Not sure it's safe to say, in case a Dungeon Master finds the puns unfunny.
Luce: I see.
Dungeon Master: Grolka is next thanks to switchery.
Grolka: I hit, for 24 points.
Helsa: I cure Rouge, but sadly for only 5 points.
Rouge: Sad-face.
Luce: Again, I miss with Shortsword, hit with Dagger, this time doing 8 points.
Dungeon Master: Pilchard may go.
Pilchard: I move here and Witch Bolt it! A hit for 16 points
Dungeon Master: A golem dislikes being Bolted! Slash at Pilchard! 17! Zap at Pilchard! 21! 19 from a Slash, 6 from a Zap.
Pilchard: My Dexterity is insufficient for Saving, and I don't wish to be cursed, so I take all damage. Then I say, "Help!"
Plummet: I am after this golem? I move behind my brother and Cure his Wounds. 10 points.
Dungeon Master: New Initiating!
Pilchard: 19! Also, I thank my sister.
Plummet: 7. You are welcome.
Grolka: 17.
Helsa: 19.
Rouge: 20! Kapow!
Bingly: 9.
Luce: 11. I switch with Rouge because I think she will beg for more healing and try Shortbowing it this round. But because she is Chaotic Chaotic, probably she won't let me.
Dungeon Master: Golem ... 20! Whichever adventurer is at 20 now, roll again to see if you beat the golem.
Rouge: I will allow the switchery just to be unpredictable.
Luce: My tie-breaker roll is 20.
Dungeon Master: The golem concedes initiating.
Pilchard: Seems generous ... unless a Dungeon Master thinks, "Hmm, I'll lose even with a 20, so I can save that 20 for a critical hit."
Plummet: Is our Dungeon Master so sneaky?
Helsa: And so unaware how probability works?
Luce: Either way, I roll 15 on Shortsword and miss with a Dagger. Is 15 a hit?
Dungeon Master: Yes!
Luce: 14 points.
Dungeon Master: Golem! It's a miss with the Slashing and a hit with the Zapping. Zapping damage ... only 5.
Luce: Does 17 save?
Dungeon Master: Yes! Damage reduced to 3. Or accepting a curse.
Luce: No curse, please.
Dungeon Master: Pilchard and Helsa.
Pilchard: I was damaged last turn. Did I continue Concentrating? My rolls are 16 and 11, more than needed against damages of 19 and 6. Excellent! My Bolting continues for ... 2 points.
Grolka: Very worth so much rolling.
Pilchard: I attempt a Melf's Acid Arrow at it. Boo, a miss.
Plummet: Wait! Remember how I said my Diviner Mage specialty would be helpful?
Grolka: Yes. We have been waiting for evidence.
Plummet: Here it is! After each long rest, I roll 2 of the 20-sided dice. Then I can swap those rolls with another roll whenever I like! So I give Pilchard an 18.
Pilchard: Assistive, but maybe not as helpful as hoped because I roll only 7 points of Acid damage.
Plummet: Oh. My brother's spells ... so poor except for the Witch Bolting.
Helsa: I again Cure Rouge's Wounds. 11 points this time.
Rouge: Superior!
Grolka: Battle Axe. Hit for 18.
Rouge: My turn, correct? I Bonus Act to use Steady Aim. Since I do not move my Shortbow has Advantage. 16 to hit, and 14 for damage.
Dungeon Master: Destroyed! 500 experience points each!
Pilchard: Whew! But I remain somewhat slashed and zapped.
Plummet: I Cure you for 11 points.
Bingly: I remain pained and paned.
Plummet: 13 points.
Bingly: Also, I remain Cursed. Is this correct, Dungeon Master?
Dungeon Master: Yes, two curses.
Bingly: What? I only heared about one.
Dungeon Master: A new curse of everything that was green, now looks grey. But also the old curse of, cannot stop making bad puns.
Grolka: Isn't that curse on the rest of us?
Helsa: Honesty says, I find it charming. Mostly.
Bingly: But how do I become uncursed?
Dungeon Master: Does Bingly say this out loud?
Bingly: Yes. "Plummet, your Curing did not stop my cursedness of, no more green!"
Plummet: I don't think there's a spell for it, sorry.
Pilchard: There is a spell, just not available for mages with our level.
Plummet: Oh, no wonder I have not read it yet.
Dungeon Master: After these words, the voice of glass and bell says, "To remove this curse, you must do service for our Temple of Prisma!"
Rouge: Or, we just take a goblet and go, now that golems are destroyed. It's Bingly's fault for choosing not to be damaged.
Bingly: But all salads will now look awful! And trees and grass!
Luce: Also, what if golems appear each time a goblet is grabbed?
Rouge: They weren't so tough.
Pilchard: Plus, the goblet grabber is bonked when trying to leave the temple.
Rouge: Oh. Right. Well, Bingly should ask what his service will be.
Luce: I am Neutral, so I suggest balance would be, at least Rouge helps Bingly, since Rouge was the one to start all that goleming.
Rouge: My suspicion is, there's a big goblet of goldish and gem-covered. Probably I wasn't the only one thinking, let's take that.
Luce: Valid.
Dungeon Master: With glass-breaking and bell-ringing sounds, the voice says, "The curse will lift after retrieving of the Yellow Prismatechism. Fiends from the Church of Blue Diamond thieved it from us many ages ago."
Rouge: Mentioning blue diamonds increases my interest in this service. Maybe there will be some for us to take.
Bingly: Or just almonds.
Dungeon Master: Almonds?
Pilchard: Blue Diamond -- it's a company of almond selling.
Plummet: Almonds are tasty!
Bingly: Also, there are many flavors.
Plummet: Can we snack break? I feel snackish now.
Dungeon Master: "Service first! Snacking after!" says the voice.
Bingly: I accept this quest. Will companions aid a poor mage?
Rouge: Kind of our least useful mage ... but since there might be diamonds, sure.
Helsa: Now we must search a creepy city of desertion for this additional temple.
Bingly: Already, we've seen it on the map!

Dungeon Master: Players, yes, characters, no.
Plummet: I guess we better get searching, then!
Grolka: Now a Dungeon Master's cruelty of displaying such a map of intrigue appears. Because we know where a building topped by such a blue diamond is, and we know our characters do not know, it's required to definitely go some other direction to demonstrate avoidance of cheating.
Helsa: Could roll dice at each intersection to see where we go ... might end up taking us a right direction without cheatery.
Rouge: Could send a mage's bat to do useful scouting, flying very high to look down for blue diamonds.
Bingly: Or, could ask someone who already knows. Like, "Hey, voice! Where is this Temple of Blue Diamond we seek?"
Dungeon Master: 100 experience points! The voice says, "In the corner of town that is northish and westish."
Bingly: Which mage is least useful now, Rouge?
Rouge: Still the one with a bat and no fighting or curing spells.
Bingly: I have fighting spells now! Just one I keep missing with and one I haven't used much yet.
Rouge: Even worse! Why have you not used that one?
Bingly: I did! When I Dragon Breathed the inside of that toad.
Rouge: My character didn't see you do that, though, because you did it while inside a toad.
Bingly: Well ... probably smoke came out along with Bingly after toad roasting.
Rouge: How do I know what this smoke was from? Could be Bingly killed it with second-hand cancer.
Luce: We might have known about it if Bingly explained escaping instead of immediately psychic-damaging us all with puns.
Bingly: I feel I am being gangstered. Can we just investigate north-westishly?
Grolka: A barbarian has been waiting impatiently to do this already.
Helsa: Let's go.
Dungeon Master: As said before, there are so many buildings. You pass all sorts, heading where the voice indicated. Many different signs outside them. One sign looks like this:

Pilchard: This is the sign for us to most obviously ignore. Probably no interesting scribings inside, and with such a sign, other adventurers must have searched thoroughly for moneys long ago.
Rouge: What if every adventure party previously thought this same thing, though? "Oh, no reason to bother. Someone else must have gotten rich here previously. Can't be any left for us."
Luce: Surely not all parties would have thoughts so similar. At least one would have thought with originality.
Rouge: Didn't all parties think, "Hmm, empty city, could be a place to find riches, right?" So there's evidence all parties did have similar thinkings, but no evidence yet that any parties had different thinkings.
Pilchard: This logic ... difficult to evade even if intuition feels contrary-wise.
Rouge: We are here, a bankish building is here, seems like we might as well go in.
Bingly: Fine. But if green monsters are inside as guardians, a green-blinded mage won't be very helpful.
Rouge: Isn't such a mage the same one already considered least at helping? I go to this bankish-seeming building's door.
Pilchard: Seems like we will follow.
Dungeon Master: Inside, it's a bank.

Dungeon Master: Some desks for serving customers here near the front, and also a counter for bank tellers in back. Looks like one door into a back room on the distant wall, plus one inside the teller area.
Rouge: Probably no money left in customer servicing desks. I go to the distant wall door.
Luce: I follow.
Pilchard: Desks might have scribings of contracts or book-keeping ledger, though. I'm interested in those.
Plummet: Less so for me. I go with tieflings.
Grolka: I guard barbarically at the door. Call for me when Rouge activates a curse and money golems need fighting.
Rouge: Such golems would be powerful! We should fight them.
Bingly: I am tired of being golemed so much.
Luce: Also, could be a receipt golem. Or checkbook golem.
Pilchard: Or a money golem that's made from copper pieces.
Rouge: Such remarks will seem foolish if there's a gold golem. Am I yet at the door?
Dungeon Master: Yes. In fact, you notice it is open a small amount.
Rouge: I peek through!
Dungeon Master: You are able to see this:

Plummet: I ask if there is a gold golem.
Rouge: I open the door a less small amount.
Dungeon Master: Now, there's a room. Some pillars are there, also a desk. Very large at the back of the room, a vault! But, this vault appears open.

Rouge: Grr. Now it especially needs to be a gold golem that killed everyone else who entered. Otherwise, no money left in a broken-into vault!
Plummet: Maybe someone broke in to leave money in a bank instead of taking it.
Helsa: Also, if a gold golem killed everyone else, won't it kill us?
Rouge: Already, I am almost dead from dissapointedness. So I go to an open vault door and look in.
Dungeon Master: No gold golem, sorry. Only a large hole in this vault's floor -- so deep! Rough stairs are cut into this hole's sides going down and down and down.

Pilchard: Looks like a mouth that ate everything inside.
Plummet: Not to you, though, because you're enjoying scribed bank records at a desk.
Pilchard: Ah, right! Is there scribing of interest, Dungeon Master?
Dungeon Master: Ledgers and files. Very old paper. Handwriting that's so neat and careful!
Pilchard: I enjoy all of these things! When Rouge exits the vault, I must give her congratulatings.
Rouge: I go to the hole and look down. Possible someone taking enormous amounts of gold from a vault dropped some here and there. Any bits of gleaming on the stairs?
Dungeon Master: No. Looks like someone with very large amounts of time carved this hole. Probably they were patient about carrying treasures out.
Plummet: Do you tell us about such a deep, deep hole? I will be very tempted to Feather Fall down it.
Grolka: Trouble if it's deeper than 600 feet, though.
Helsa: Also trouble if you wish to return and realize, so many stairs to climb.
Rouge: These troubles sound boring and treasureless to me, so I return and just say, "It's empty."
Luce: Really? What if these stairs lead down to a dungeon, carefully mastered by our Dungeon Master and filled with adventures awaiting adventurers?
Dungeon Master: 100 experience points for expecting a Dungeon Master so diligent! Also for emotions so sensitive about maybe wasting a Dungeon Master's effortful strivings.
Pilchard: Probably it wouldn't be wasted anyway, though. When characters pass a Dungeon Master's proud imaginings, later the Dungeon Master can just plant clues for temptation. Then it's, "Whoops! I knew we should have investigated that hole! Now we must return."
Grolka: Speaking of returns, can we return yet to our north-westwardish quest for a blue diamond temple?
Rouge: Yes. All done here.
Pilchard: Wait! What if these scribings continue to interest me?
Rouge: I will show your sister a hole and she might jump down it.
Pilchard: Fine. I guess we can go.

(More to be continuing here, readers! See you next time!)

Twelfth Dungeon! Stairs of Strange Dangers!

Dungeon Master: Ahead -- it's a walled town at the edge of the plateau! Adventurers are relieved. At last they have reached it! It looks this way.

Pilchard: Wow! Amazing Dungeon Master artistry!
Plummet: Wait, what? Did we locate a wreckaged road, and I forgot? Also, did we pass a town of Bi'chen and Monen?
Grolka: Definitely not.
Helsa: I checked notes.
Dungeon Master: 100 experience points for artistry compliments! 100 experience points for remembering where an adventure party expected to go! 100 experience points for remembering unfulfillment of that expectedness! 100 experience points for checking notes!
Pilchard: Nice! We're raking it in right off the bat.
Plummet: I scribe down this experience for sure, but still feel confusish.
Dungeon Master: Time for Dungeon Masterly confession. All week, I worked so hard on a picture. Finally ... success! Possibly, though, it's a picture with too much success. A Dungeon Master becomes impatient to show it off. Solution seems obvious -- we skip travel along a wreckaged road and happenings in Bi'chen and Monen. Is this cheatery? An inexperienced Dungeon Master blames her inexperience. "Oh no!" she says if it's cheating. "So sorry to cheat! I didn't know."
Pilchard: No cheating or cheatery involved. Many Dungeon Masters just say, "Time to fast-forward, due to a wreckaged road being uneventful and characters deciding to attend the advicing of Guidry Guidestar to sidestep the complaining town of Bi'chen and Monen."
Dungeon Master: Educational! 50 experience points!
Pilchard: Thanks!
Dungeon Master: No, these are Dungeon Master experience points. Second-level Dungeon Mastering soon!
Luce: I am new to Dungeon and Dragoning, but my opinion is, already you are much more than second level in Dungeon Mastering skill.
Dungeon Master: Exceptional flattery! 100 experience points!
Grolka: I feel wistfulness, though. I looked forward to finding out what would happen in that town. There's disappointment to find out the answer is, "Nothing."
Dungeon Master: Don't fear so quickly! The Dungeon Master will create appointment for you. I appoint Bingly to explain the eventlessness of several days on Bi'chen road.
Bingly: Toads ate everything along the way. 
Dungeon Master: Yes! 100 experience points! I appoint Rouge to explain what happened in the town with a complaining reputation.
Rouge: We had to leave quickly before they could complain about thousands of gold pieces Rouge Hornytail stole!
Dungeon Master: Yes, but a revelation followed -- large piles of fake gold were left to tempt thieves, so that later thieves would have much to complain about. Try again!
Rouge: Fine. While carrying heavy heaps of fraudster gold, Rouge complained of sore-footedness so much, the group found a boat and took it down the river to quiet her. Some complained, "No, Rouge, we must not steal a boat!" But Rouge produced large amounts of apparent gold and said, "We'll leave this to pay for it." 
Dungeon Master: Better! 100 experience points.
Rouge: But the boat had devious leakages. Wet feet! Much complaining by all adventurers. The boat had buckets for bailing, but these had leakages also. Eventually such a boat had to be abandoned.
Dungeon Master: Good! Now adventurers see in a westerly distance the plateau edge. Dusty and dry plateau lands stretch to this precipice -- beyond, there's green. Even more beyond, a sea!
Plummet: Braddlebrick Bay!
Dungeon Master: Could be. Too far for you to see any city signposts. Or even a city. or even a bay. There's just some blue, so you think, "Most likely a sea."
Pilchard: What about this city that we do see?
Plummet: Also, why are we seeing it from so high up? Is another roc going to elevate us fearfully?
Dungeon Master: Your dungeon master is very slow with artisting. It's too much to draw a picture of seeing a city in westerly distance, then also a map to show streets and buildings for exploring. So I made a map-ish picture.
Helsa: Talented and efficient. Your approach deserves voluminous praise.
Plummet: (That's what she said!)
Rouge: Always this joke with you! I would complain, except after last session ending in toad punnery from the player of Bingly, "That's what she said" becomes comedy genius.
Dungeon Master: Minus 10 experience points for reminding your Dungeon Master of being tricked into pun participation.
Rouge: What! Bingly reminded us of toad encounterings and received bonus points!
Dungeon Master: Bingly made a toad joke much better than that toad pun of last time. Therefore, points. Appropriate toad jokes are welcome. Pun reminders, less so.
Rouge: Fine. I guess it's only 10 points.
Luce: How distant is this town? Will we arrive before night-time?
Dungeon Master: Someone name a time of day.
Pilchard: 3:42 p.m.
Dungeon Master: Excellent. Now, for randomness, and because I am from Japan, I will have Google tell me that time in Tokyo. 5:42 a.m.! Too early, so I will say you observe the city and plateau edge at sunrise after camping. Quickly, someone explain why you did not see it at sunset! 
Plummet: Something was chasing us at sunset! We ran and ran, even into night-time. Then we used darkness to ambush it into defeat.
Dungeon Master: More excellence! Now, what chased you? Two people name page numbers in the Manual of Monstrosities.
Grolka: 18.
Rouge: 243.
Dungeon Master: 18 plus 243 is 261, which is ... Roc!
Plummet: Oh no!
Rouge: Again?
Bingly: And here we all thought we weren't going to be seeing the city from elevation.
Pilchard: How did we run away from so giant a bird for so long?
Helsa: Of more prominent importance, how did we defeat one?
Dungeon Master: Who has the best idea?
Pilchard: This poor roc -- its wing was broken. So, it could only chase us on the ground.
Dungeon Master: Good, but no. The Manual says, a roc can only speed at 20 feet each movement. Characters are faster than this, so they would escape it with ease.
Bingly: This roc was gluttonly! Recently it ate too many giant toads and became ill from such a meal. If it flew too fast, it became airsick, then had to land and walk for a while before flying again.
Dungeon Master: Good, but why is a roc full of toads so hungry to eat adventurers? I think we need superior explanation.
Plummet: Maybe it's too young and small to pick up adventurers. So, it keeps attacking us, then flies away when we pain it too much with damage. Finally, we ambush it enough to kill it.
Dungeon Master: Acceptable! Each character receives 300 experience points for defeat of this youngster roc. Bonus 50 experience for clever but insufficient explaining by Bingly and Pilchard, bonus 100 experience for successful reasoning by Plummet.
Pilchard: So much experience without actually doing anything ... it's a first, I think.
Plummet: We should encourage our Dungeon Master to do more artisting!
Helsa: I agree, but because she is so talented, not because it deducts exertion for achieving higher levels.
Dungeon Master: So! Dawn occurs east of your camp. Revealed are dark birds of scavengery that circle overhead of a corpsed roc. What do you do?
Pilchard: Which direction is the blowing of wind?
Rouge: Why does this matter?
Pilchard: I have more motivation to quickly leave our camping spot if downwind of a huge rotting roc.
Plummet: Ew. Me too!
Grolka: Such weakling civilization types! Barbarians shrug at such deathly stenches.
Dungeon Master: Probably it's too soon for much decay, if the roc died just last night. But currently, the wind blows from a north-ish direction.
Pilchard: I'm okay eating a breakfast of leisure before leaving, then.
Plummet: Plummet also.
Grolka: Is it allowed to fast-forward through breakfasting as we did through actual adventuring?
Dungeon Master: Yes. A road runs beside the river. You take that. Somewhat east of the walled city, a large sign can be seen between road and river.
Helsa: I read it. What does it say?
Dungeon Master: "Warning! Cliffs! Boaters park at piers ahead or it's smashing and drowning for you!" A few minutes later, another sign says, "It's serious, boaters! Use piers or waterfall catastrophe awaits!"
Pilchard: I'm glad we are not seeing these signs from inside a leaky boat that is hard to paddle while bailing.
Plummet: I'm glad I'm not having to paddle or bail.
Dungeon Master: Soon, a third sign stands next to piers. "These are the piers we told you about! All boats should stop!" At this spot, the road widens near the pier, then turns away from its river-following at an angle that points at the city gate.
Luce: Question. Have any boats been seen this entire time besides our leakaged one?
Dungeon Master: Only a few traveling between smaller villages and the town of Bi'chen and Monen, plus some doing fishing activities.
Bingly: Should we explore this pier, since it is here?
Luce: Unnecessary exploring could lead to plesiosauring.
Plummet: Ooh! Are you two doing a rhyme battle?
Bingly: Maybe! Would there be experience from this kind of battle?
Dungeon Master: Only if rhyming attracts monsters for the other kind of battle.
Bingly: Bingly is more interested in coolness than in battling. Probably we should continue to this city of stairs and mystery a gnomish guide described.
Luce: Agreed.
Grolka: What do we see in our approach of the city? A barbaric orc will peer suspiciously.
Helsa: A ranger as well.
Dungeon Master: Roll your Perceivings!
Grolka: 15.
Helsa: 10.
Dungeon Master: You both Perceive that the gate at the end of the road is unclosed. Also, Grolka Perceives that no figures are noticed moving within.
Plummet: Wait, so Helsa Perceives that figures are moving within?
Dungeon Master: Helsa looks very squintingly, but it's, "Are there figures? Are they moving? Can't really tell either way."
Plummet: Oh, I see.
Helsa: But I do not. Someday I must roll better.
Grolka: My announcement is, "Looks empty and boring. We should go around and find stairs to go quickly to Braddlebrick Bay."
Rouge: I ask Grolka if her barbaric eyes are so good, they see from here the treasurelessness of this empty city.
Grolka: The city is old, yes? And gates are open, so it must be easy to go in to get treasure. Or if there's treasure, it is so hard to get that no one has been able to. So either it's no treasure inside, or extremely hard-to-get treasure inside.
Rouge: Or gates only opened last night.
Grolka: I scoff at this idea of coincidence.
Rouge: Still, it's possible! Also, we are brave adventurers. Our job is exploration of such places.
Grolka: Will you bravely volunteer to go first?
Rouge: Yes, whenever we find a treasure room.
Helsa: I am unpersuaded that avoiding the city is logical. However, since the city may have dangers, probably some scouting of stairs might be useful in case we need to flee speedily.
Rouge: But I have impatience to look for treasure.
Luce: What if all the city's treasure is hidden under stairs?
Rouge: Hmm.
Pilchard: One Plume mage votes to scout stair-wise before entering the city.
Plummet: Another Plume mage also!
Bingly: An empty city seems so cool, though. And I could have my bat fly in to look around.
Luce: One thieveling tiefling also votes for the scouting.
Dungeon Master: Seems like Rouge is minority-ish. Does she continue arguing?
Rouge: Yes, but only grumpily, while we walk toward stairs.
Bingly: While walking, I send my bat to spy. "Look on top of the wall, bat!" Also, if a tower is less than 100 feet tall, "Look on top of that tower, bat!" In windows also.
Dungeon Master: Only emptiness for a bat to see. No one on walls or towers or in windows.
Plummet: What conditions do we see for the walls and towers? Since I am sagely, it's curious to know. Oh! Also, I am very Historical in skill! I try to remember if such a stair-top city appears in history books.
Dungeon Master: They are sturdy walls without cracks or missing stones. Probably a little dirty from years and years of plateau winds blowing dirt on them. You may roll your Historical skill.
Plummet: Natural 20! It becomes 28 with my skill!
Luce: 8 for a skill! My highest is only 5.
Helsa: 5 is better than 4.
Luce: Sorry about that.
Grolka: A barbaric orc scoffs at your civilized skillings. "Skills of 3 or less are fine when your axe is large."
Luce: I withdraw my complaint about a top skill of 5.
Dungeon Master: With such a roll, Plummet recalls stories of a stair-top city on a cliff of plateau. Most involve guesswork by sages of speculating tendencies. Who can suggest a speculated tale of this sort?
Bingly: The city was built by giants!
Grolka: Seems unlikely even to an orc of barbarism. Does anything of this city have a look of oversized?
Dungeon Master: No. Rocks and gates and windows look pretty normal.
Bingly: It's because giants built the city for their children to play in.
Dungeon Master: Clever! Worth 50 experience points. But Plummet suspects it's a tale with poor sagely reputation. Who else?
Rouge: A land of riches and wealth built this city! Rich, but miserly. For hoarding, gold and gems were spread over the whole ground inside the walls before laying of foundations and paving of streets. Then ages passed and people of the city forgot, so all this gold remains under buildings and roadways.
Grolka: Who told the sages who wrote down such a story, then?
Helsa: And if this is known, why are any stones left unturned?
Rouge: A mystery. Other sages mocked this tale-writer, maybe. He is widely unbelieved.
Plummet: Probably I won't relate that tale then, since it has no sagely credit.
Rouge: Unfair!
Dungeon Master: No experience for this unrealistic and greedy story.
Rouge: Even less fair!
Dungeon Master: Sometimes a Dungeon Master must be harsh. But Plummet remembers other things. The stairs exceed the age of the city! No one knows who built them. They are wide and strong and durable against all weather. Ancient people of the plateau and the lands below and westerly used the stairs to trade. Armies marched up and down them to make war, so a fortress was built to claim it for the plateau folk. Kingdoms rose and fell, changing the hands that held the fortress. The fortress became a city! The city was burned and destroyed by war. Again the city was built! And so on and so on. Then, 100 years ago, all people in the city disappeared. Travelers arrived to find it empty. Spooky! The gates stay always wide and open since that time. Brave types go through them to explore and seek treasure. Sagely types take expeditions to solve the mystery. But in each case outcomes remain identical: No one who returns from the city talks about it -- not even if captured by cruel rulers who torture them for secrets!
Pilchard: Must be some very embarrassing things that happen to people who go in.
Plummet: Ooh! But that means if an adventurer goofs up inside, the others are unable to tease them later!
Grolka: Assuming the goof-up is not fatal for all in the party.
Dungeon Master: The corner of the city wall is now reached. 
Pilchard: Someone should peek around it, in case of lurking perils.
Grolka: Barbaric orcs have no time for this kind of cowardish behavior. I step around the corner and examine what's there.
Dungeon Master: Though it's obvious on the map, from such an angle you have a difficulty of spotting whether these gates also are open.
Plummet: But my sagely readings explained them to be.
Grolka: Yes, but among your sagely readings were unrealistic and sage-mocked ones believable only by the foolish.
Rouge: Hey!
Dungeon Master: Also, just knowing gates might be open is not the same as seeing gates open in truth.
Pilchard: Aha, though! Usually, it's sunrise in the southish part of the east. On our map-drawing, the gate of this side opens to the westish north. This means, morning sunlight may shine through the open gate and reveal its openness.
Dungeon Master: 50 experience points for this reasoning so epic! You do see sunlight shining through the open gate, onto the stairs before it.
Grolka: I stride large barbaric strides stair-ward.
Helsa: I follow.
Bingly: I send my bat ahead to examine stairs as we approach them.
Dungeon Master: The bat sees that stairs are cut into the plateau in a path of downward and westishward curve. Bridges of stone have been left across these stairs, here and here.
Bingly: Probably such archings of stone would be tempting for a bat to hang from. I allow my bat to indulge if it wishes.
Dungeon Master: The bat flies down toward this bridge of nearest. But ... bonk! A surface of invisible sort blocks it at exactly level with the plateau ground.
Bingly: Oh no, my bat! It's not hurt, is it?
Dungeon Master: Only confused.
Bingly: I call it back.
Luce: Hmm. So ... maybe not as easy to go down stairs as expected?
Plummet: Could be it's just bat-proof, right?
Grolka: I go trompingly to the stairs and try to step on the top one.
Dungeon Master: Your foot won't proceed down to it! The surface invisible denies you.
Pilchard: I have a staff. I will go along the edge of the stair-gully and poke with it to see whether this invisible surface covers the whole thing.
Dungeon Master: That distance would be long, you know. Other maps might have a note saying, "Not to scale," but your Dungeon Master neglected to add such. It's hundreds of feet to check it all.
Pilchard: I am less curious than that. Probably I don't go farther than where the fall to the stairs would be injurious.
Plummet: Ooh! If we can't stair our way down, I can Feather Fall us again!
Rouge: Not before searching this city for its treasures!
Luce: I also enjoy treasures, but seems like if Penny Plume knows many people have been in there since the mystery began, if they found treasures, soon there would be adventuresome crowds searching out all the treasures of the city.
Pilchard: No, because they couldn't tell anyone where they got the treasures. Remember that no one who goes in ever talks about it after coming out.
Grolka: Then how do we know anyone ever went in? Suspicious, if you ask me.
Helsa: Possibly someone watched them go in from outside.
Luce: Then if the watchers watched them returning with treasures, suddenly again there are big rumors of a city full of treasures. Don't confuse my ideas, though -- I'm okay going in. I just think expectations of the low kind are advisable over the grand kind.
Pilchard: Also, there may be other sorts of treasures, like writings in ancient languages, or fanciful scribings of unusual texts. Not every treasure is exchangeable for coins.
Rouge: I do not understand your words.
Grolka: A barbaric orc does not understand why so many words are needed. We are here, city is there, gate is open, most adventurers say, "Let's go in." Why all this talking? I turn and stride barbarically to the open gate.
Helsa: I follow.
Rouge: Wait for me!
Bingly: Seems like we're all going in, then?
Luce: Yes.
Dungeon Master: Oops, though! When Grolka arrives at the open arch of gateway, it's another bonk! More unseeable barrier blocks your way. Roll a Saving Throw of the Dexterity kind to avoid falling from the bonk and the startlement. 
Grolka: 19.
Dungeon Master: There's more embarrassment than falling, then.
Grolka: I conceal my embarrassment by growling, "Anyone who laughs receives a fist-smashing."
Rouge: I avoid laughter.
Bingly: Same.
Luce: Yes.
Pilchard: So. Do we climb over this enormous wall somehow, since invisible barriers impede us?
Plummet: How?
Grolka: Also, why? There remains another gate to try.
Plummet: Yes, but so far to walk there, especially only to find, it's an invisible orc-bonker too.
Grolka: No more bonking for me. I will approach the next gate with greater care. Stay here if walking around a city wall corner is too tiring for your magely legs.
Plummet: Well, this character actually is not so slothly as my Dragonbane one. I suppose walking's okay.
Dungeon Master: Soon, then -- the eastly gate draws near! What do you do?
Grolka: I locate a rock and throw it through the open gate.
Dungeon Master: It flies through and lands on the city street. Clatter!
Grolka: I use my spear and prod this gate's air where an invisible barrier might wait to bonk me.
Dungeon Master: The air does not bonk an orc's spear.
Plummet: Careful! Could be it only bonks creatures instead of objects.
Grolka: I will swish before me with one hand. It's not from fear of bonking, though. Only because I want to protect companions from a fist-smashing that might happen if an orc gets bonked again and there's laughing.
Dungeon Master: No bonking. Soon, an orc is definitely inside the gate.
Grolka: What is seeable from here?
Dungeon Master: First, definitely more buildings are here than on a map drawn by a slow-drawing Dungeon Master with not so infinite time. Pretend there are more on the map, but too boring to bother with. I drew only the buildings of interesting sorts.
Plummet: Wow! Are there plans for each of these many drawn buildings, then?
Dungeon Master: That is a Dungeon Masterly secret.
Rouge: Which interesting building looks most like a bank? This one, maybe? It's so almost adjacent to our gate and seems big.

Dungeon Master: Hmm. The architecture here ... so ancient? What details would these olden-times people put on a bank?
Rouge: I try Investigating. What seems clue-ish about this large, gate-adjacent building? My roll is ... boo. 5 only.
Dungeon Master: A clue is, it has columns.
Rouge: Some banks have columns! I Investigate my way closer to this building.
Dungeon Master: Do others accompany a tiefling?
Luce: They will have to accompany two tieflings, because I accompany Rouge.
Pilchard: Columns might be just as likely on a library as on a bank, so I favor this investigation.
Plummet: Ooh, a library might provide opportunities for sagely learning.
Grolka: Accompanying tieflings might require a decision. But Plume mages probably need barbaric protection.
Helsa: I go where others go.
Bingly: I send my bat ahead to see if it can fly inside and reveal the mystery of bank or library-ness.
Dungeon Master: Beyond this row of front columns, a bat finds windows of colored glass and a large door open to a welcoming degree. Above the door, it sees a great sculpture of marble.
Pilchard: Meaning a very large sculpture of marble, or a very excellent sculpture of marble?
Plummet: Also, meaning it's made of marble, or it's the shape of a marble?
Rouge: Obviously not the shape of a marble, since it's a bank. Why would marbles be sculpted above bank doors?
Pilchard: Could be this city used marbles in place of coins.
Bingly: How would they play heads or tails to decide things?
Pilchard: Could be they weren't able to, and so the city met this fate of strangeness and emptied.
Dungeon Master: Answers! This sculpture has both size and excellence. Made of marble, not showing a marble. Instead, it shows a figure very beautiful, strong, and wise. The arms are wide, as though to encourage all to enter.
Grolka: Sounds deity-ish to me. Now a tiefling will be disappointed. Maybe two.
Rouge: Not if it's a deity of banking.
Luce: Should adventurers adventure inside?
Dungeon Master: Remember, only Bingly knows this yet. A bat is much faster than adventurers afoot.
Bingly: I send my bat inside. Hopefully an invisible barrier does not bonk it again.
Dungeon Master: It flies unbonked. Inside, rainbows of color shine through windows with tint in their glass. More columns hold up a very high roof. At the far end, an altar. Before that, benches for worship and religious-type singing. Definitely, it's a temple, Bingly thinks.
Bingly: Hmm. Is such a city large enough for multiple temples? Because this other building on a Dungeon Master's map of artistry looks temple-ish also.

Plummet: So temple-ish!
Rouge: Must mean the bat of Bingly is pranking him, and really it sees a bank.
Dungeon Master: These ponderings are all unusable by your characters, though. Remember, there are so many more buildings in this city than on the map. Really, you couldn't see that other temple-ish building yet, so there's no wondering about how many temples reside in this city.
Pilchard: This one looks like a temple, too:

Plummet: Shh! Our Dungeon Master said, no wonderings about buildings we haven't seen!
Rouge: Also, though, that one looks like possibly a palace. And it has a high pointy peak with goldish gleaming. When we see it, I may want to go there next. Especially if this temple is treasureless.
Luce: Well, we have to go in a temple to discover its treasurelessness.
Grolka: There's also reaching a temple before going in. Are we there yet?
Dungeon Master: Yes. Now all approach the wide open door beneath the deity-ish statue. Inside -- pillars, a roof so high, rainbow colors from windows of tint.
Rouge: I ask Bingly where the treasures are, since he sent a bat to look in here before us.
Bingly: Did my bat happen to see any treasures, Dungeon Master?
Dungeon Master: Let me look up a bat's Perceiving of the Passive sort. Hmm. No, there's no report of treasures from a bat.
Bingly: I tell Rouge I did not have my bat looking for treasures. Also, even if a bat found treasures, wouldn't a tiefling still have to search for any a bat might have missed?
Rouge: Fine. I begin searching near the door in case a box for donating of coins is there.
Dungeon Master: None to see immediately.
Pilchard: I will do some pew-Perceiving to see if any songbooks or literatures of a religious sort are there for worshippers to use.
Dungeon Master: The answer is ... etto ... what printing machinery is available in Dungeons and Dragons times?
Pilchard: Oh, probably none if scribing is an everyday profession. A Plume mage would have no expectings of such things, in fact.
Dungeon Master: Then no, no literatures or books of songs.
Pilchard: Maybe at the altar area? I'll investigate there instead.
Grolka: I am alert for dangers of an ancient mystery city sort.
Helsa: I remain in the doorway, observing the street for sneakish beings of an ancient mystery city who might behave sneakishly while we explore their temple.
Bingly: I will wait with our orc. My bat flaps around playfully.
Luce: I examine this temple interior for doors to other chambers.
Plummet: I'd accompany my brother, probably.
Dungeon Master: In this case, here are findings. Rouge, already we've said no donationing boxes. Luce sees two doors, each beside the altar area in the wall behind it. Pilchard and Plummet approach altar-wise, where they see a large golden goblet and some tome kind of object resting. No mysterious city anythings appear to Grolka and Helsa. Here is a map!

Pilchard: Uh-oh. Concerning that a Dungeon Master has such a combat-ish map ready ...
Plummet: Maybe a hard-working Dungeon Master has many combat-ish maps ready!
Bingly: Or maybe whatever first building a party went into was always to be a temple of this layout.
Dungeon Master: These maybes and concernings must remain mysterious for now. So ... what next actions do adventurers take?

(Readers, the answering of that question is a to-be-continued! Already this blog entry is long-ish, and there's more Dungeoning and Dragoning ahead!)

Eleventh Dungeon! People and Pit and Plateau!

Readers! After some months of Dragonbaning, now it's a return to Dungeon and Dragoning. If you don't remember the happenings from before, you can find links here: Girlfriend Claire's Linking Page of Kindness!

Dungeon Master: A new challenge for your Dungeon Master! Hopefully with Dungeon Mastering experience points gained from earlier gamings, I can succeed.
Plummet: I have confidence in this success!
Rouge: The same. But what challenge is our Dungeon Master concerning about?
Dungeon Master: Never before have I returned to Dungeon Mastering a campaign after a break. Will I remember how? Will I remember where characters were?
Pilchard: There are notes.
Grolka: Also players to help you.
Rouge: It's especially easy to help if there are experience bonuses for such activities ...
Dungeon Master: Only for necessary and appropriate help! But it's probable if a Dungeon Master asks.
Luce: I re-read some of the notes. Many villagers and adventurers have exited a pit that is basemented in the creepy black tower.
Dungeon Master: Yes! Players helped name some of them. This part I perused again also. Let's remember them together: Matavor!
Pilchard: Sister of the plesiosaured adventurer that Rouge grave-robbed.
Dungeon Master: Correct! 10 experience points. Manglor of Mage-Mashing!
Rouge: I think I named that one, but additional memories have escaped.
Dungeon Master: Failure! No experience. He is a powerful adventurer unhappy with mages. Very troublesome for them, it was said. 
Pilchard: I'm remembering this now.
Dungeon Master: Matavor and Manglor are first at climbing out of a pit. "Thank you for the help of your rope!" says Matavor. "Have you seen a brother of mine, Rovatam?
Rouge: No, definitely not.
Bingly: We read he was plesiosaured.
Dungeon Master: "Oh no! Poor Rovatam! Also, he owed me some money. What disappointments of brotherly death and never paid debtings! Are you sure?"
Plummet: A sad skeleton wrote it.
Dungeon Master: "Was this skeleton named Glomulus?" This is a newly climbed-up voice. It is Arngo, companion to Matavor.
Pilchard: He had provisions, right? I'm thinking this is a memory.
Dungeon Master: Yes, 10 more experience points.
Pilchard: I will increase in levels any moment.
Grolka: I say that we don't know a name for this sad starved skeleton. We never heard one, right?
Helsa: Contrary to usual journal-writing norms, for a journaller to write in third person. How often do any journallers in this house do by-name referencing of themselves?
Bingly: I did, only two or three days ago.
Plummet: I know I do it some.
Rouge: Pretty sure it's yes for me also.
Dungeon Master: Appropriate evidencing! 10 experience points each. Your Dungeon Master has also done this. So probably this sad starved skeleton wrote something like, "I'm so starvational and hungry. If I could just warn myself of a month ago, don't go ruin-visiting on that plateau, Glomulus!" So you do know the name of our skeleton.
Pilchard: I tell this to Arngo and Matavor, then.
Dungeon Master: This news dis-spirits them. Manglor says, "Was he mageful? If so, it's not such a big loss." Matavor indicates Glomulus had a monkish class. After some bowing of his head, Arngo asks, "Well, did you find his Ring of Jumping? I mean, my Ring of Jumping, that I loaned to him?"
Pilchard: No. He was a pauperish skeleton.
Rouge: Do I sense a sound of deceiving in Arngo's speech? Do I roll something?
Dungeon Master: No rolling required. Matavor gives a disapproving glance when Arngo says this. Unless you have a very poor number for Intelligence, it's easy to conclude the ring is not Arngo's.
Rouge: Then I say, "No, we did not find your ring. That's definite."
Dungeon Master: Climbing up soon after Manglor is Ardman Pardonbeggar, Manglor's companion. He looks around for any mangled mages and sighs. This is a sigh of relief. Then he notices some magely looking members in your party and moves toward you with subtle steps to whisper that if you are mages, don't tell Manglor.
Pilchard: I whisper back, "Who is Manglor?"
Plummet: Ooh, yes, there was no description of Manglor introducing himself! So we don't know.
Dungeon Master: Ardman makes a noise of shush, but Manglor does not hear your conversing, because he is near the rope into the pit. As more individuals climb up, he asks each, "Are you a mage?" After they say no, he helps them exit their imprisonment. With these increasing persons, the basement begins to crowd!
Grolka: I say, "Look, stairs! Discontinue crowding us."
Dungeon Master: Many obey, despite confusedness. Stairs out of a creepy tower basement appeal more than remaining in a creepy basement.
Rouge: Wait! Which is Mayor Moneybags? I wish to discuss the rewarding before she goes.
Dungeon Master: So unfortunate. Players named some NPCs, but only the first few have done introductions, so the others ... who are they? Mystery. Once pointed toward stairs, most go that direction instead of waiting around for name exchanging.
Pilchard: Yes, our characters don't even know there is such a mayor.
Plummet: This is why I named Mayor Moneybags to know about the town treasury and said it includes a purpose of rewarding heroic types for heroisms.
Helsa: Possibly there's trouble, though. Did we check the door of exiting this tower after our golem destruction? What if its lockage remains?
Luce: As long as creepy dark energies are gone, ropes can be used to climb down from the top of the tower.
Dungeon Master: Do you go with the exiters, or stay helping the out-from-pit climbers? Or, a better question: do players care about discovering the story of how to exit dozens and dozens of people from a creepy tower?
Pilchard: I am unexcited about this story.
Plummet: I am partly excited! I can Feather Fall many townpeople to the ground from the tower top!
Grolka: Seems like wasting spells when there is rope they can climb. And a front door, possibly unlocked.
Luce: Also, I read that spell because I have it. You can only cast when you observe people begin falling. So to Feather Fall townpeople to the ground, first you must convince them, "Townpeople! Jump off the tower! I will cast a spell and stop you from dying. It's a promise!" Probably not many takers.
Plummet: Oh. Then I am less excited.
Helsa: Seems less like Dungeons and Dragons, more like Logistics and Lethargies.
Rouge: Also, Rouge probably has more interest for dividing treasure than being a stair-guide.
Luce: Luce also.
Dungeon Master: Excellent. Did all players read about the available items?
Pilchard: Yes.
Plummet: The first couple. Then, kind of tiring.
Grolka: Most sounded boring to an orc of barbarism. I did read Rings of Jumping and of Swimming.
Helsa: Yes. I may have read about some additional items with alphabetical proximity also, just because reading is an enjoyment.
Rouge: I read the ones with names of enticing.
Bingly: Bingly is interested only in spellbooks. The other listings didn't sound cool.
Luce: I read about items over the shoulder of Helsa's player.
Dungeon Master: Good. Each player write down your character's top three choices in order. Spellbooks don't count, by the way. One is cursed and the other could be shared among mages.
Pilchard: Done.
Plummet: Me too!
Grolka: Here.
Helsa: Enumerated.
Rouge: This was pretty easy.
Bingly: I'm done.
Luce: Yes as well.
Dungeon Master: All right. First choices that only one individual picked: Grolka, Ring of Jumping, Rouge, Cloak of Elvenkind, Bingly, Robe of Useful Items ... here is the list of robe patches.
Bingly: Cool!
Dungeon Master: I randomly determine the winner of the item everyone else chose first: Pearl of Power goes to Luce.
Pilchard: Boo. She's not even really a mage.
Luce: Rude, but my Arcane Tricksterism needs extra spells more than your magedom.
Dungeon Master: Now second choices make it easy to award remaining items. Pilchard, Bag of Holding, Plummet, Ring of Swimming, Helsa, +1 Dagger. 
Pilchard: I'm good with that.
Plummet: Now if I Feather Fall into water, I can swim there.
Grolka: Satisfied.
Helsa: "Is this a dagger I see before me?"
Rouge: The Dungeon Master said so, didn't she? Rouge is pleased with new Elvenly sneakiness.
Bingly: I won't let her read this list of patches, then. She might be less pleased.
Rouge: What? Why? Now I must read them!
Bingly: Should have picked it, then. It's even cooler than I expected!
Luce: I am happy with my Pearl.
Dungeon Master: Now it's back to tower exit results. The door -- unlocked! So all pit prisoners arrive outside before you. Matavor and Arngo have asked directions to the remains of their sad starved skeleton friend, Glomulus.
Pilchard: I think we can provide those.
Rouge: No directions to the plundered grave of Rovatam, though. I warn them to avoid heaps of rock and dirt and grass. "Dangerous poisonous snakes! They're trouble!"
Dungeon Master: Town citizens have attempted different actions: some, off to the ruins to explore for their homes. Others, following Mayor Moneybags to retrieve the treasury in case it remains. They don't announce this, though, so you don't know it. A few others loiter with nervousness around the tower. It's creepy, so they don't like being near it. Yet the ruins also creepify them -- possibly they could find signs of events very tragic that occurred during their imprisonment. Also, they're discussing the absence of food. Manglor and Ardman the adventurers find commonality with Matavor and Arngo and accompany them. Possibly they'll form a new party.
Helsa: Hm. A commonality I notice is, each pair has a "Ma-" name and an "Ar-" name. Is this also what they found similar?
Dungeon Master: Unplanned, but yes! 50 experience points! Manglor especially is full of superstition. These similar names suggest interferings of a deity to him. Meanwhile! Some townpeople wish to depart their ruined village and therefore speak to Guendry Guidestar. She is a guide of legendary knowledge and says she will lead them south.
Plummet: Should we join this journey?
Grolka: Seems indirect. Braddlebrick Bay is our goal, yes? Isn't it west, not south?
Helsa: It is, but remember our location on a giant plateau. Maybe there's no climbing down its steep sides to the west.
Luce: If only someone of legendary guiding knowledge could advice us about that.
Bingly: I will ask this Guendry Guidestar about it, then. As a merchant, I probably experienced travels with guides before. What does she look like?
Dungeon Master: A gnome, her hair in four purple poof-balls around her head's top. Dice say ... an 11 out of 18 in attractiveness. Her clothing and accessories suggest she's outdoorsy in type.
Bingly: I ask if she would like to see my bat. Even if only an 11, her gnomishness means, she's in my size category.
Dungeon Master: Make a roll of Persuading to entice her. It's with disadvantage because your question interrupts discussions with townspeople and seems very detour-ish.
Bingly: My roll is 14.
Dungeon Master: She rejects your offer of bat-viewing, but not in a tone of malicious. "Anything else?" she asks.
Bingly: I tell her our destination is Braddlebrick Bay. "It's west, right? Can we just go that way?"
Dungeon Master: She takes out a map and shows the plateau on it. Here's a closeup.

Pilchard: It's labeled this way?
Dungeon Master: No. You conclude those things as she tells you, "Take the wreckaged road west, then turn left at the next wreckaged road, then follow a river to go westerly again. You'll end up here." She points at the spot that is question marked in my picture.
Plummet: Since it's question marked, I ask what that spot is.
Dungeon Master: 20 experience points! This sort of asking is why it is marked. Guendry Guidestar explains that a fortress and stairway are there where the river flows off the plateau. "It has dangers, though, so be careful!"
Pilchard: This map ... it's very small and my eyes are old. Can we receive a closer-up?
Dungeon Master: It's allowable.

Pilchard: I ask Guendry Guidestar, "What is this grey splotch where the roads and river meet? Possibly a town?"
Plummet: Or a parking lot of large size!
Rouge: For parking what?
Plummet: I said "lot," not "what."
Rouge: No, I meant --
Dungeon Master: Guendry Guidestar explains it is a town. Quick! What is this town's name and why did she not say, "At so-and-so town, find the river"?
Grolka: It is called, "Town of Bih'chen and Monen." Those are the road names that meet there. She did not mention this town due to recommending we avoid it.
Bingly: So why did she tell us to turn left at "a" road instead of at "Bih'chen Road"?
Grolka: Because it is wreckaged, obviously. So, no sign naming it.
Luce: Also, if she called it Bih'chen Road, probably our expectations would be too high for its quality.
Dungeon Master: Excellent reasons! 30 experience points each, Grolka and Luce.
Bingly: No experience for asking Grolka's player a set-up question?
Dungeon Master: This question -- it sounded dubious about Guendry Guidestar's choice to description it the way she did. With legendary skills, her directions must have been appropriate.
Bingly: True.
Dungeon Master: But! Still there remains the mystery of why she recommends its avoidance. Who can say?
Grolka: The townspeople complain about everything. Also, they aspire to make others complain. So if you go there, they will give bad directions about the river.
Dungeon Master: Exceptional! But no extra experience, because you explained a mystery created by your previous explanation. A Dungeon Master of suspicion might think the first explanation intended more opportunities for bonus experiencing.
Grolka: This mistrust is woundful to me.
Dungeon Master: Sorry. A Dungeon Master must be careful of crafty players. Soon, everyone adopts a strategy of, "Here's my explaining for the situation ... oh! There is a hole in it shaped just like another opportunity for explaining! How did this happen?"
Grolka: Then can I at least have experience for inventing this strategy?
Dungeon Master: 5 experience. But I will deduct them if you use it again!
Helsa: With explanations complete, is it time for exiting the town of ruination?
Rouge: Since I don't know the mayor went to retrieve town funds, I vote yes.
Bingly: Same. My bat has been spurned, so no more need to discuss things with Guendry Guidestar.
Luce: Before we leave, though -- where is Milvicent Ox-Reiner? With us or elsewhere?
Dungeon Master: 100 experience points for finally remembering a wagon-driver's accompanying!
Pilchard: Sweet. I'm going to make sure to remember her next time.
Plummet: That's backwardish, though. It's only worth so much experiencing because we forget so much. 
Rouge: Yes! We must remember to forget her many times, then remember to remember her just when it deserves so much experience in bonus!
Bingly: As long as we don't end up in battles over who gets to remember and receive bonuses.
Dungeon Master: Don't worry, the Dungeon Master has solved it. Milvicent Ox-Reiner is going south with Guendry Guidestar and the others.
Plummet: What! Why?
Helsa: Would you choose a party of such failure to notice you so many times?
Luce: I'd have nerves over it. What if the wrong moment of forgetting me meant, it's curtains for Milvicent Ox-Reiner?
Plummet: I'm going to miss her.
Bingly: Me too. Probably around ten sessions from now.
Dungeon Master: 20 experience points to Helsa for diagnosing the choice of Milvicent. Now, you can exit the town of a slightly less creepy black tower and resume journeying to Braddlebrick Bay.
Pilchard: Seems like we've been in this town for so long. In a fun way! But still ...
Plummet: Only a few sessions, right?
Dungeon Master: It's a true accusation though, because a dashboard of blogging says the first session of this ruined town exceeded a year in the past. 
Pilchard: I hope the Town of Bih-chen and Monen does not occupy us so long.
Plummet: I thought we weren't going there, though?
Helsa: Such advicing came from legendary directioner Guendry Guidestar. But it's questionable whether adventurers of our sort are good at taking directions.
Dungeon Master: Following the westward wreckaged road is a direction so simple, though, so the journey renewal begins quickly. Now, I must roll for encounters of the random sort. None. Time to camp, then!
Pilchard: Have we reached a Bih'chen road yet?
Dungeon Master: Not today. Who is watching for each shift of nighttime?
Grolka: A barbaric orc can watch first.
Helsa: A ranger next. Remember, I am elvishly able to manage two watches, not just one.
Dungeon Master: The dice indicate encounterage at the first watch of a ranger. Who will name a page number from the Manual of --
Bingly: Wait! Here's a note!
Dungeon Master: Hmm. Okay, the Dungeon Master agrees with this. Helsa, roll Perceiving.
Helsa: I feel suspicion at this note. 16 is my total.
Dungeon Master: You hear sounds of large boundings, and also, ribbitting. Three giant toads appear near your camp! Roll to initiate with them!
Helsa: 18.
Dungeon Master: Giant toads are 8. What does Helsa do?
Helsa: By Bonus Actioning, I cast Hunter's Mark. Also, I yell for others to awaken. Then, I shoot my bow with a twang! 17 should hit a giant toad, I hope. Ugh. Might as well not be a hit -- 3 points from arrow damage, 1 from Force.
Dungeon Master: Bound! Bound! Toads leap into camp! The arrowed one bites at Helsa -- 16 is the total.
Helsa: I am bitten.
Dungeon Master: 8 points of Piercing damage! 6 points of Poison damage! Also, you are grappled by toad jaws. The next toad bites at Luce. Also a hit! The damage of biting is 7 this time. Poison -- 6 again! Plus, grappling toad teeth!
Luce: Ow. I subtract most from my Temporary Hit Points.
Dungeon Master: The last victim is -- Rouge Hornytail the Black! This toad is clumsy, though. Only 11 on its attack.
Rouge: Even asleep, I can evade a toad.
Dungeon Master: Initiate!
Pilchard: 1.
Plummet: Eek! 4!
Grolka: 21. I am barbarically quick.
Helsa: 5.
Rouge: 20.
Bingly: Ooh, Bingly gets 18!
Luce: Luce also.
Dungeon Master: Toads are poor -- still on 8.
Pilchard: That's better than most of us.
Grolka: I am enraged by toads as a Bonus Action. I leap up and Battleaxe at the toad swallowing Luce. Only an 11.
Dungeon Master: Toads are warty but have weakling skin. You hit.
Grolka: 15 damage of the Slashing type. Also, a Battleaxe has the property of Topple. It's a Constitution save of 13 to avoid being proned.
Rouge: Rouge attacks the same creature. I will Shortsword it and then Bonus Action to Dagger it. Both hit!
Luce: In my studies of rules, though, the Dagger's Nick property means you can add it to your Attack Action and not waste a Bonus Action.
Rouge: So studious -- thank you! My damage is 13 total for the two attacks.
Dungeon Master: Luce or Bingly may act next, then.
Bingly: I will let Luce go first, since a toad is gnawing her.
Luce: My action is the same as Rouge's ... my damage totals 17.
Dungeon Master: The toad is slain.
Bingly: I will Firebolt the toad that chews our ranger. I hit ... only 2 damage.
Dungeon Master: Toads may act! The one gnawing Helsa swallows her! She is now Blinded and Restrained, and at the end of the toad's turn, she receives 11 points of Acid damage. Digest!
Helsa: I request the rulebook to discover how Blinding and Restraining impair me.
Rouge: Here.
Dungeon Master: Last toad! It has 6 options for attacking a character ... Bingly!
Bingly: Yikes!
Dungeon Master: You are bitten. 3 points of toad toothing, 7 points of poisonousness. Plus grappled!
Bingly: Help!
Helsa: My turn? I have poor chances of hitting, but still I draw my Shortsword and attack. Ah, fortune! I hit, and the damage is 11.
Plummet: I don't like our ranger getting swallowed! I will cast Magic Missile with an extra missile for extra-helpfulness. Damage is 15 points!
Pilchard: That leaves me. I attempt Witch Bolting the ranger-swallower. Success! So poor in damage, though. Only 4.
Dungeon Master: Time to initiate again.
Pilchard: 18!
Plummet: 3.
Grolka: 17.
Helsa: 20. Our average exceeds the norm so far.
Rouge: No jinxing! Ugh. I have been jinxed. Only an 8. I am slow as toads.
Bingly: 19.
Luce: 7.
Dungeon Master: Toads ... 21!
Helsa: The fickleness of fate! I almost said, "With my usual luck, my 20 means toads will get 21." Then I said, "No jinxing, Helsa!"
Rouge: That was double jinxing!
Dungeon Master: Toads! One gulps Bingly! Digestion of 7 points! It hops away to enjoy its meal! 30 feet of distance. Helsa, you receive Digestion of 11 added points. And your toad Dashes away -- 60 feet distant!
Helsa: I feel danger from this choice, but I attack instead of curing myself. I hit! Maximum damage also!
Dungeon Master: The toad expires. You can crawl from its gaping mouth.
Helsa: I do so!
Bingly: On my turn, I cast Dragon's Breath and breathe fire on the toad from inside.
Plummet: Don't cook yourself!
Bingly: The spell does not say the breath is reflectable.
Dungeon Master: True. But it also does not say being Dragon-Breathed from inside prevents a Saving Throw. Inexperienced Dungeon Master moment! Do we apply sense of the common type, or ignore it because the rules don't say so? In the first case, no Saving Throw for a toad, but Bingly risks cookery. In the second case, the toad can roll, but Bingly is safe.
Bingly: As safe as being digested by a toad allows.
Pilchard: I recommend -- both! Bingly can point his head back out the toad's throat. The toad thinks, "Uh-oh!" and opens its mouth to try letting some of the Dragon Breath out. No worries for Bingly, Saving Throw for a toad. Or Bingly can breathe right at the guts of his gulper. No chance for it to avoid damage, but he takes some also.
Dungeon Master: Genius! 50 experience points.
Pilchard: Thank you.
Bingly: I am half digested already. I point my breath toward the throat. Damage of 10 points, or 5 if it saves.
Dungeon Master: I think it is Disadvantaged at this save ... and it fails.
Pilchard: I move nearer the toad and Witch Bolt it. Better damage this time! 12.
Grolka: Can I reach the toad this round?
Dungeon Master: Maybe. Roll Athletics to achieve it.
Grolka: 21. Good? Chop! Natural 20! 24 damage.
Dungeon Master: Very dead. Probably, it's good to end the session here.
Bingly: Wait! First, Bingly says, "So surprised I am to see these creatures here! I would not expect them before reaching the Bih'chen Road."
Plummet: Really???
Bingly: Like, Toadally!
Luce: I take Psychic damage.
Pilchard: Me too.
Plummet: Boo!
Grolka: Seconded.
Helsa: Thirded.
Rouge: The next time a note is passed by Bingly, I will grab and eat it.
Dungeon Master: Oh! Toad experience! 600 total points, so 100 for each character.
Pilchard: Thanks for math so generous! Divided by 7 it would only be 80-something.
Dungeon Master: It's only divided 6 times. None for Bingly. A Dungeon Master should not be made into a punster's accomplice!
Bingly: It was worth it.