Sixth Dungeon! Treasures and Tower!

Dungeon Master: We return! The bread golem is sliced and crumbled, and characters have experienced their way to level three! Are all players prepared to adventure third levelly?
Pilchard: Yes. I can now illusion improved. It is my specialty of wizarding.
Penny: My specialty is to divine!
Bingly: Good, especially since our party is clerically lacking. In fact, I don't think "too divine" is possible for us.
Penny: No, I mean spells of divination are my favorites. I think it's sensible for a sage to want these spells, right? For acquiring more knowledge. 
Rouge: Um ... sure, sounds sensible. Doesn't seem too useful in combattery.
Penny: It is! I will demonstrate, I promise.
Grolka: My barbaric raging now allows a frenzy of berserk.
Helsa: What did it allow before? 
Rouge: Have you done this raging?
Grolka: Yes when killing twigs and needlers in our first adventure.
Helsa: So long ago!
Grolka: True. Since then the encounters have only been goats who did not attack and a plesiosaurus I needed to arrow. Raging provides few benefits in archery.
Helsa: I see. My advancement of third level is Hunting. My attacking is improved ... if my die rolling causes a hit.
Rouge: Not so dependable an improvement for you.
Helsa: No. It may be that hermitry gave me less practice for accuracy than another background could.
Rouge: Well, I maintain secrecy about my leveled abilities!
Bingly: Now you're a thief.
Rouge: Hey! No spying on my character sheet!
Pilchard: She didn't need to.
Penny: Your thiefiness is obvious.
Grolka: Even before this level, so thiefy.
Helsa: Everyone expected this.
Rouge: Maybe I chose something else then, due to my Chaotic Chaoticness!
Bingly: Maybe ...
Pilchard: Maybe?
Penny: Maybe!
Grolka: Eh.
Helsa: Seems unlikely.
Bingly: Anyway ... my specialty is also illusioning!
Pilchard: Imitator.
Bingly: No, my character just thought, "Illusions ... so cool!"
Dungeon Master: Now that the dungeon master has awareness of these improvements, we can proceed. Team Reading! You discover two things in the sadly starved skeleton's pages! First, before starving into skeletonhood, this person expressed many doubtings and regrets. Importantly, they wrote, "I wonder now ... should I have listened when Arngo cried out? 'So fearful! Don't look at it!' Maybe if I looked, I would be with them in the tower now." Second is, "Hunger is weakening me. If no one returns with our provisions, I will expire. In case I do, I have marked Rovatam's perishing place near the river, so his sister may have something of him if she returns. Not too near the river though! Too anxious I might be eaten."
Pilchard: Seems like this skeleton should have done some searching around the town of ruins. He might have found bread in a bakery.
Penny: No, only a bread golem! Then he would be golemed to death and no longer able to write these clues for us.
Pilchard: Possibly. Or maybe the bread golem was not finished baking, years ago when the skeleton starved. It might have been eatable then. But your character doesn't know about a bread golem yet, so be careful or it's an angry dungeon master for us to deal with.
Penny: What! Your character doesn't know about a bakery, so the dungeon-master angering will be your fault first! You started conversing this direction, not me.
Pilchard: My character certainly knows towns sometimes have bakeries, doesn't yours? I thought your background was in saging. It's only the golem part that is unreasonable for our characters to speculate.
Penny: Oh.
Rouge: Dungeon master!
Dungeon Master: Yes? 
Rouge: On the subject of what our characters don't know, please notice I am not saying something! In case you are later thinking for reasons to award points of bonus experience.
Bingly: This seems like a claim anyone could make over and over in hopes of an experience bonus.
Dungeon Master: Also, bonuses are for actions above appropriate, not just avoiding inappropriate sorts.
Rouge: I feel I have restrained my tongue for no reason, then. 
Penny: Heehee -- that's what she said!
Grolka: Ha. How has that joke made your mind so impure?
Penny: It's funny!
Dungeon Master: Do the Team Reading characters act on these new skeleton disclosures?
Pilchard: Only by making a mental note.
Penny: I don't see how to?
Grolka: My character remains guarding outside, so I don't know about them.
Dungeon Master: Then we return to Team Exploration. The bread golem lies as a heap of slices and crust. What actions do you take?
Rouge: I look in the open oven while our wizard medicals the ranger.
Dungeon Master: Empty.
Bingly: When the ranger revives, I go and look in other compartments of the oven, like the firebox and bin for ashes.
Dungeon Master: You find something!
Rouge: What! I didn't even know there were these other compartments!
Bingly: I Googled between sessions to learn how such devices work.
Dungeon Master: Resourceful! Twenty experience points!
Rouge: More unfairness!
Bingly: What do I find? 
Dungeon Master: In the bin, dusty ashes.
Rouge: Haha. Okay, I'll accept the mage finding this.
Bingly: I stir through the ashes with a dagger, or some stove tool if one is nearby
Dungeon Master: You find a dark stone marble.
Helsa: Hmm. Seems curious.
Bingly: How dark is it? Is it Vantablack?
Penny: Ooh! If it is, I want it!
Dungeon Master: Sadly, no. But 50 experience points for reminding the dungeon master of her very first enjoyable long-ago game of role playing!
Penny: Oh, that's right! We played that game so soon after your arrival!
Rouge: Can we return to our search for treasure?
Bingly: My spells don't include magical detection, so I put the marble in my pocket for now.
Helsa: Last time, descriptions included open cases. But are there also cabinets unopened that might conceal items?
Rouge: Or trap-doors in the flooring?
Dungeon Master: All cabinets are open. Tell me more about your examination for trap-doors.
Rouge: I will crawl and brush aside dirt -- a search of extreme and thorough.
Dungeon Master: Roll for perceiving. You can have Advantage for the detail of brushing aside dirt.
Rouge: Yes! The first die, only 3. Terrible! But then the die of Advantage is 15. Adding 3, it's 18.
Dungeon Master: You find beneath the dirt are yellow tiles. Very pretty.
Rouge: What! This is the gold color from the map of last session? So misleading!
Bingly: Seems mysterious for there to be tiles this specific for no reason. I examine them closely.
Dungeon Master: Very sunny and lemon-colored. It's a ceramic material, you think.
Helsa: Are any tiles different in color? Maybe a pattern of some tiles the same, some a little different?
Dungeon Master: The tiefling brushed dirt, but did not clean it fully. Do you wish to spend hours cleaning to see?
Bingly: Maybe hours are unnecessary ... I have a cantrip of Elementalism. It can collect dirt or sand into a cube of one-foot size. Probably that's many, many tiles of dirt cover, right? So I make a one-foot cube of dirt each round, and someone carries the cube out into the street, and we repeat until we achieve a floor of zero dirt.
Dungeon Master: Clever! Thirty experience points. However, I am Googling ... ah, the Internet explains that one cubic foot of dirt has weight of 75 or 100 pounds.
Rouge: Can you pick that up, ranger?
Helsa: I cannot.
Bingly: Definitely don't look at me. I have a weakling Strength. Only 10!
Helsa: This is my Strength also. Therefore I use a bow or shortsword, because at least in Dexterity, I have 12.
Rouge: So I am strongest in this group?! No wonder bread almost killed us!
Bingly: Hmm! But there's a solution. Instead of Elementalisming cubes, it's dirt spheres. Those we can roll.
Dungeon Master: More cleverness! But I am restrained about further bonus experience pointing -- it's part of the same idea.
Pilchard: She did avoid punning about "Wonder Bread."
Dungeon Master: I don't understand.
Helsa: It's a brand name for bread. Not sure she noticed Rouge say it, though.
Rouge: When did I say it?
Bingly: I noticed.
Dungeon Master: Still, no bonus pointing for absence of poor behavior. We discussed this before. Now, if you follow this plan, it is a success. But how long to achieve this success? There is ... mm -- 5 millimeters thickness of dirt on the floor, average. Tiles are 10 centimeters each side. How many spellings of Elementalism are needed? Someone math this for me! 
Pilchard: Okay. Google says 5mm equals 0.0165 feet. Inversing that gives 61. So 61 square feet equals one cubic foot dirt. Now Google says one square foot equals 929 square centimeters. Square root of that is 30.47 centimeters per side of the square. So one square foot equals about 3 x 3 tiles, 9 tiles. 61 square feet times 9 tiles each square foot is 549 tiles under each spelling of Elementalism. How large is this building?
Dungeon Master: Based on squares used on my dungeon mastering version of map ... about 900 square feet.
Pilchard: Fewer than 15 spellings, then. And the number of tiles is about 8,000.
Grolka: Why do we need to know how many tiles?
Bingly: I think he just got carried away mathing.
Pilchard: It's in case we find they have value! Even if only one copper piece of value per tile, the amount becomes 80 gold pieces.
Grolka: How long to pry up 8,000 tiles?
Helsa: Also, how to carry 8,000 tiles.
Pilchard: These are good points.
Rouge: A better point -- did we find anything about the undirtied tiles?
Dungeon Master: Patience! First, I award Pilchard 30 experience for volunteering as Dungeon Mather.
Pilchard: Thank you.
Dungeon Master: Now, with all tiles cleaned, you discover one place beneath a counter where a tile corner is chipped loose.
Rouge: That's all?
Bingly: I examine this corner-chipped tile. Does the chipping allow me to pull it out?
Dungeon Master: Yes! Beneath, you see something?
Bingly: I look closely.
Dungeon Master: A small handle is there.
Bingly: I pull it.
Rouge: Wait! Could be traps there!
Bingly: Too late.
Dungeon Master: Upon pulling, a section comes loose from the floor -- 3 tiles on each side. It's a lid! Beneath, you see a box in a cubby.
Bingly: I remove the box.
Dungeon Master: It's metal, and heavy.
Rouge: Full of gold!
Bingly: Probably not much gold, for a bakery in this size of town. I open it.
Rouge: Wait again! Traps!
Bingly: Again, too late.
Dungeon Master: Inside, there's coinage -- many coppers, some silvers, a few gold. But also -- a small box! Made of fine wood by much careful carving and craftingship. Each side is ... mmm ... about 5 centimeters?
Penny: How much is that in something that's not centimeters?
Pilchard: Half a decimeter.
Penny: Boo! I meant something even less centimeter-ish!
Dungeon Master: Here -- I'll space my thumb and finger. About so.
Penny: That is a small box.
Rouge: Can we continue? I have anticipation for Bingly proceeding to open this small box with recklessness.
Bingly: I do exactly that.
Dungeon Master: Inside -- felt! It makes a hollow where something could fit. Very round, this hollow. In it is something not round, though -- a small folded paper.
Bingly: I open it up and read it.
Dungeon Master: It says, "Secret use for a dark stone! This rock placed in a fire for cooking results in food so lively!"
Pilchard: Ha -- true and deceptive, it's paradoxic!
Bingly: This hollow where the note of paradox was -- is it sizable for the dark stone marble?
Dungeon Master: Maybe.
Bingly: I take out the marble and see. Does it fit?
Dungeon Master: Identically!
Bingly: I close the small box. It goes in my pocket, and then I inform others of coins in the bakery cash box.
Rouge: I arrive quickly to count it. How much is there?
Dungeon Master: The coins are mixed, but together, about 15 gold pieces.
Rouge: Five each! I divide them.
Bingly: What about Team Reading?
Rouge: Did they suffer a goleming? You can divide yours with them if you want.
Bingly: Hmm. My alignment is not Chaotic Chaotic, but also it isn't Lawful of any sort, so your argument convinces.
Dungeon Master: Any further activities by Team Exploration?
Helsa: I'm in favor of a short rest. My hit points -- very damaged.
Rouge: Oh! It's the same for me. Since treasure searching no longer distracts, I am pained. Very sore and bread-beaten.
Bingly: Is a bakery good for resting? Or would a return to Team Reading show more wisdom?
Helsa: I prefer returning.
Rouge: Me as well. One of our Plumes can heal, I recall.
Bingly: Probably hurrying is recommended, then. In case of other perils in this town.
Dungeon Master: My die rolling produces no perils on your return trip.
Grolka: When I see them returning bruised and crumbed, I ask what occurred.
Helsa: A fight in a bakery.
Rouge: We're pained. Let us through.
Grolka: I allow their passage.
Rouge: Inside, I announce my injuries. "Plume, please repeal these woundings!"
Penny: Okay! My spell lessens your wounds by 10. Is it sufficient?
Rouge: Probably, since we intend a rest.
Dungeon Master: So, the party is regathered. What do you discuss?
Pilchard: I tell them we read some notes, but the handwriting became regrettable over time, making it less pleasant.
Penny: I tell them all about the sad starved skeleton's tale.
Rouge: Even the headstoning of Rotavam's death spot?
Penny: It was part of the story, right?
Rouge: I say we must go and search there, after our rest. The sad skeleton said he wanted Rovatam's sister to have something from her brother. Loot may be buried there!
Helsa: Speaking of rest, I'd like some. My bruises still pang at me.
Bingly: How is the time? Should this rest be a long one instead of short?
Dungeon Master: The sun appears low. Evening will arrive with speed.
Penny: If we are long resting, I can cast more healing on our ranger since my spells will recover overnight.
Helsa: I approve of this plan.
Penny: 19 is my total now.
Helsa: Very capable! I applaud your magery.
Dungeon Master: Who will guard the resting party?
Pilchard: Probably our barbaric orc will be ready to rest. Already she's been standing outside so long.
Grolka: Less boring to stand outside than to watch mages reading. Also, I am extremely Constitutional. No chance I'll be tired from an hour or two.
Helsa: Yours can be the first watch, then. Awaken me when it's the next turn. Wait, though. I am elfly, so I don't sleep. Just alert me from trance after four hours. Then I can perform two watches alone.
Dungeon Master: No perils from my rolling on the first watch.
Penny: Would it be shorter to call them per-rolls?
Dungeon Master: Yes, very efficient! 15 experience points. Ah -- but my next per-roll endangers you. Helsa, tell me a page number! Somewhere close to it is what occurs.
Helsa: ... I will just roll two sets of percentaging dice. 45 plus 85 is 130.
Dungeon Master: Hmm ... this monster is possible. Roll for how well you perceive the dark street of this ruinous town during your watch.
Helsa: Poorly. The total is 7.
Dungeon Master: You are ambushed by a ghast! It stealths very close to you, ready for meleeing! Roll another Perception to see if you can Initiate or if it's an entire surprise.
Helsa: This time, 13.
Dungeon Master: You can Initiate.
Helsa: So sluggish. It's 6.
Dungeon Master: Much faster, this ghast. It is very hungry from no one to feed on in years, so it bites at you. The roll for hitting -- 17.
Helsa: I am bitten. 
Dungeon Master: 9 points of being pierced, 7 points of being necroticked. Now it begins your turn, and you must save Constitutionally against its hideous stench.
Helsa: 12.
Dungeon Master: Safe!
Helsa: I cry out for assistance. Next, I drop my shortbow and draw my shortsword. I Bonus Action with a Hunter's Mark spell. Then my attack roll is 10.
Dungeon Master: It's a miss. Others may now roll to Initiate! Or, if you consider your character very tired, you can roll Constitutionally to see if you awake.
Pilchard: I initiate at 20.
Penny: Very nice! Mine is only 7.
Grolka: 8 for an orcish barbarian.
Rouge: I am enjoying tieflingish dreams, so I must Constitution it. Only a 7.
Bingly: 12 is Bingly's Initiative.
Dungeon Master: Rouge is slumbersome this round. Pilchard, you are awake and first!
Pilchard: The door is incomplete, correct? I will Witchbolt through a gap if I can see. My total is 20.
Penny: So much twentying from Pilchard!
Pilchard: The stench of this ghast makes me want a quick end for this fight. I am using a level 2 slot for 3d12 of damage. 21 total!
Penny: Your streak of exact 20s has broken, though.
Dungeon Master: The creature remains undead! And its turn is next. Now, it claws at the ranger. 14 to hit.
Helsa: I am clawed.
Dungeon Master: The damage is 10.
Helsa: Painful, but I remain awake.
Bingly: I'm next, yes? I don't think any of my spells fits fighting a ghast. I throw a dagger instead. 20! The damage is 3.
Dungeon Master: Grolka's turn begins.
Grolka: I rise, seize my battleaxe, and rush to attack. Only a 9, though. Penny is next.
Penny: I will Orb it Chromatically. My spell attack is 11.
Dungeon Master: You miss. Helsa?
Helsa: I draw my dagger and fight two-weaponedly. My shortsword attack is 14. This does 10 points of damage from the sword and 3 more from my Hunter's Mark spell.
Dungeon Master: The ghast is destroyed! 75 experience points each.
Helsa: I am bitten and clawed, and it is the middle of the night, so no one has regained spells except my ranger. I think I must use mine for healing.
Penny: No, I still have some! 22 for my first one.
Helsa: My remaining wound is minor, then.
Penny: But I'll have new spells in the morning, so I cure some more. 12.
Helsa: Thank you. Unless ghast stench lingers in my clothing, I am returned to my original condition.
Dungeon Master: It does not linger much. But probably you want to drag the ghast body far from your hideaway.
Grolka: I will do that before returning to bed.
Dungeon Master: In that case, morning arrives.
Rouge: Who will accompany me to Rovatam's memorial?
Bingly: Shouldn't there be breakfast first?
Grolka: Probably even before that, a barbarian would piss.
Penny: Eww! I mean, probably everyone would. But is it enjoyable for roleplaying?
Grolka: As much as breakfast.
Rouge: In this case, during the pissing and breakfasting, I go to search for the grave of Rovatam near the river. But no too near! Beyond plesiosaurus neck reach, obviously.
Grolka: While pissing, do I see any other buildings that might have interest to adventurers?
Dungeon Master: How far does your journey for relief take you?
Grolka: Around a corner and out of the sad wind, I think.
Dungeon Master: Northwardly and westwardly along the street you see a diamond-shape building with a roof still in place. Rouge, roll to discover how Perceiving you are with a gravestone or marker.
Rouge: 13.
Dungeon Master: After some minutes, you find on the ground two crossed boards, tied at the center. They're old and rottish. The cord tying them appears feeble with agedness. 
Rouge: Are there signs of buried items near these boards?
Dungeon Master: More Perceiving! Roll, please.
Rouge: 20!
Dungeon Master: Somewhat near is a low heap of rocks, covered over partly with dirt and grass.
Rouge: I use the boards to dig this heap.
Dungeon Master: So rottish, the boards! Snap, and crumble! No chance of success with these for tools.
Rouge: Hmm. I have a burgle pack, though. Contents include a crowbar, so I will crowbar the heap instead.
Dungeon Master: After some time laboring, you reach a bag.
Rouge: Yes! I unearth it and open the bag.
Dungeon Master: Inside -- a splendid cloak and a spice pouch. Both appear very fine -- unusual in quality and appearance.
Rouge: Magical, perhaps?
Dungeon Master: Could be. But! There's misfortune -- your crowbarring has roused a small snake that used the heap for a burrow! It bites at you during your distraction of examining treasures. The roll is only a 10, however. Roll for Initiating!
Rouge: 13.
Dungeon Master: Only 11 for the snake. You may go.
Rouge: I draw my short sword and slice it!
Bingly: Very brave, fighting with no companions.
Rouge: She said it was small. It is small, right? My roll for attacking is 14.
Dungeon Master: It is small, but you notice wicked fangs. 14 hits it.
Rouge: These wicked fangs could have been announced earlier! My damage is 7.
Dungeon Master: It looks very harmed and flees into its destructed burrow.
Rouge: I move far away and put the cloak and pouch in my burgle pack. Then I return to my party.
Pilchard: I ask, "Did you find anything, Rouge?"
Penny: Oh! If Rouge lies, is there a rule for discovering it? Your sneakery may be discovered then!
Rouge: Why would I lie? Much simpler to say, "If you wanted to know that, you should have accompanied me."
Dungeon Master: All these dialogues are impatient! The tiefling spent many minutes searching and crowbarring and snake-fighting. Other things may have happened during this absence.
Penny: What other things?
Grolka: I predict a per-roll during my barbaric pissing.
Dungeon Master: Yes, wandering and then pants-downing alone in a ruinous village invites peril. The per-roll is 6! You are encountered! Pilchard, choose a page number.
Pilchard: Hmm. One hundred, seventy-two.
Dungeon Master: Hnn... 166 ... 171 ... 172! Ah, this is credible. You see a tiny winged humanoid!
Penny: Like a fairy?
Helsa: Those are fey rather than humanoid.
Penny: Then like an angel?
Pilchard: Angels are their own thing, even if their looks are human-ish.
Dungeon Master: I will increase my specificness. Let me roll according to Player's Handbook humanoid species. You see a tiny winged dragonborn.
Grolka: I tell it to go away because I am pissing.
Dungeon Master: It shakes its tiny head while hovering a few feet from you. With one arm, it points urgently upward and toward the center of town.
Grolka: Can I look that direction without interrupting a piss?
Rouge: How many rounds are you pissing?
Grolka: I assume orcish barbarians who are very Constitutional would have a great size of bladder.
Dungeon Master: I roll 5 rounds of urine being dispensed before the creature appears. Roll one hit die to determine your remaining duration of piss needed.
Grolka: 8.
Dungeon Master: The angle is poor for you to look in that direction. The creature continues to point. After two rounds, it becomes impatient and flits upward, then downward, then side to side, each time making a new pointing gesture. After four rounds, its features become angered.
Grolka: I tell it to go in the starved skeleton building and bother someone else.
Helsa: Is this discussion hearable to others in the building?
Pilchard: Or is it drowned out by an epic flood of piss-sound?
Dungeon Master: Roll your Perceivings.
Pilchard: My total is 3.
Penny: I don't wish to hear pissing, so I hum and try to have my ears avoid it.
Helsa: I Perceive with a 14.
Dungeon Master: Above the sad wind, you can tell there's an orc talking, but the words are sadly winded away.
Helsa: I assume they do not provoke alarm, then. Because I am hermitly, I allow our orc to her privacy.
Bingly: No Perceiving roll for me. My character is only interested in cool magical things, which does not describe pee noise.
Dungeon Master: After six rounds, the creature flies up above building height, pointing again in the same direction. Then, back down. So impatient, its face as it continues this behavior.
Grolka: When pissing is complete, if the creature remains, I call out to companions inside the building. "There's a creature out here! It wants something!"
Bingly: Sounds interesting -- if the tone of our barbarian's voice is not alarmful.
Grolka: More annoyedful.
Bingly: I exit, then!
Pilchard: Similarly.
Penny: Yes, me too!
Helsa: I will exit as well. It's preferable to remaining in the building with a sadly starved skeleton.
Rouge: Wait -- did we camp the whole night with that thing in there?
Dungeon Master: No one proposed removing it, so yes.
Pilchard: I feel like our characters would not make this oversight.
Penny: It seems discomforting!
Helsa: Perhaps a sad, starved skeleton roused so much of a pity in us, we could not bear to toss its bones out in the street.
Rouge: Sensible. Plus, who would want to sleep where it starved so sadly? That spot would stay unused whether a skeleton remained or not.
Bingly: I'm convinced. Also, ready to examine this tiny winged dragonbornish creature. What do I roll to identify it?
Dungeon Master: Based on my reading of this creature description, your roll should be Arcana.
Bingly: Ah! I'm capable with that skill! But eh, I achieve only a 15.
Dungeon Master: This I think is okay for knowing that it is a homunculus -- a wizardly creation.
Pilchard: I roll also! But it's only a 13. I suppose I know the same or a little less.
Penny: I just ask Bingly, "You look less puzzled than my brother. Do you know what it is?"
Bingly: "A homunculus. Wizards create them."
Dungeon Master: Very agitated, this homunculus now. It flies in circles. It points with both hands at different party members and then at the town's center.
Penny: My Arcana skill is okay, but my History is better. I try to remember if there have been famous homunculuses in olden times. Hm. Like my brother, I roll only 13.
Dungeon Master: So specific a piece of history -- 13 seems inadequate for knowing it. Pilchard's 13 Arcana is enough to think, "Hmm, maybe I've heard that," after Bingly identifies for them.
Pilchard: What does this homunculus want, Grolka?
Grolka: I don't have this knowledge. Why would I?
Helsa: You've had time to ask it, right?
Grolka: I asked it to stop bothering me while pissing. It refused.
Bingly: Did you include "please?"
Grolka: I am a barbaric orc. Barbarians don't see usefulness in "please," and the way orcs indicate "please" is just to not end a request with, "or I will beat you."
Dungeon Master: The homunculus points at all of you and then flies a little ways toward the town center. Then it looks to see if you have followed.
Pilchard: I did not.
Penny: Aren't we waiting for our thieveling tiefling?
Grolka: If others are not following the creature, I do not.
Helsa: I agree we should not abandon Rouge.
Bingly: Technically, she is the one who left, right? So isn't she the abandoner?
Pilchard: Hmm. I don't remember if she said she was coming back.
Penny: Me either.
Rouge: This is assumable!
Bingly: Yes, but would our characters assume it?
Dungeon Master: When the homunculus observes there is no following, it flies back, repeats its gesture, and flies forward again. It has an expression of even more impatience.
Grolka: All right. Should I follow this homunculus, or kill it? I am tired of its pestering.
Penny: Don't kill it! It's cute and tiny!
Bingly: Not as cute as an octopus, though.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus has a wary look for Grolka.
Pilchard: I tell it we must wait for our tiefling, then we can follow.
Penny: Please don't pester our barbarian until then!
Grolka: Or after then.
Helsa: How long is it before the tiefling returns?
Dungeon Master: These things happened close together: a tiefling walked toward the river, and a barbarian walked around a building corner. Notice which takes longer! Then, a tiefling searched and spied, compared to a barbarian pissing for 13 rounds. Then a tiefling crowbarred a mound and fought with a small snake of deadly venom --
Rouge: This snake! It's described so much more dangerously every time! I don't think I would have fought a snake of such danger.
Bingly: You definitely would be dead if bitten. So lucky to escape unharmed.
Dungeon Master: The intention is not for showing how endangered the tiefling is, but comparing the search adventure to the pissing one for length.
Rouge: Wait, "is"??? I look around for that snake! If I am snake-chased, my trip back to the skeleton house will be much faster.
Dungeon Master: No, you are unchased. There's ten minutes of waiting by the group.
Grolka: Is the homunculus pestering?
Dungeon Master: No, but still very impatient.
Penny: Did we ever finish breakfast? I eat any of my ration remnants while we wait. Oh! These rations are plain. I regret buying them instead of bacon.
Dungeon Master: All breakfasting is done when Rouge returns.
Pilchard: Did you find anything?
Rouge: First, explain this hovering homunculus!
Grolka: It wants us to follow it.
Rouge: Did you ask, "Is there treasure?"
Bingly: No.
Rouge: It's the first question of homunculus encountering! How could you not ask it? I ask the homunculus if there's treasure.
Dungeon Master: It taps its tiny chin thinkingly. Then, there's a slow shrug of, "mayyybe?" Then it points more and flies briefly forward again.
Rouge: We must follow it!
Pilchard: You didn't answer my question.
Rouge: No time! Didn't you observe that shrug of, "Treasure is possible?" I follow the homunculus.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus leads you between some buildings to the next street. It crosses the street. There, it leads you into an alley. Beyond the alley, you can tell -- it's the center of town where the tower of creepy stands.
Helsa: Is this homunculus possibly leading us into a trap?
Rouge: Of course! Treasures often have traps. But we will cleverly avoid them! I continue following.
Dungeon Master: Has everyone followed?
Pilchard: Apparently.
Penny: If my brother followed, I followed him next.
Grolka: These Plumes need my barbaric protection, so I follow also.
Helsa: Implausible for everyone else to follow and a ranger to stay behind.
Bingly: Even though you're hermitly?
Helsa: I am formerly hermitly, before my rangerhood. This town does not seem ideal for a return to hermitly habits.
Bingly: Sensible. I follow too, of course. The creepy tower of creepy black stone has crept into my magely curiosity.
Dungeon Master: Before the alley-trip finishes, the homunculus stops. It points at each of you, then turns its head down, as if looking at the ground. Additionally, it cups its hands around its eyes.
Pilchard: Binocular-wise?
Dungeon Master: No, like shading from the sun. Or blocking view of things that are not the ground.
Penny: Ooh! Remember, the starved skeleton wrote that its companion said, "Don't look at it!"
Grolka: You think this homunculus is the companion?
Pilchard: No, the companion was 'Arngo' and cried out the warning, no pantomiming involved.
Penny: What if looking caused Arngo to turn into a homunculus?
Rouge: These questions do not bring us nearer to treasure. I shade my eyes like the homunculus and look groundward. "Let's go, homunculus!" Does it begin leading further?
Bingly: You can't see because of shaded eyes. Also, you don't know it's a homunculus, so probably you shouldn't keep calling it that.
Rouge: Then I say, "Let's go, thing that I don't know what you are because no one has told me in order to keep me from having to describe you with excessive long-windedness every time I mention you!"
Penny: I tell Rouge it's a homunculus.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus points to Rouge and then to each other character. Again, it lowers its head and shades its eyes.
Pilchard: I guess we're doing this. I also lower my head and shade my eyes.
Penny: I wish our rolls of homunculus identifying were better so we would know, are homunculuses sometimes evil and trickstery? This information might help my comfort when I lower my head too.
Grolka: A benefit of this eye-hiding is, I don't have to look at this pestering homunculus. I participate also.
Helsa: As do I.
Bingly: Same.
Dungeon Master: When all are looking groundward, the homunculus flies low to the earth, where Rouge can observe its shadow and feel the breeze from its wing-beats. If all follow, it leads you out from the alley and across the wide common area of town. Now along with sad-sounding wind and homunculus wing-beats, you begin to hear sounds of neck-tickly creakingness. Like the air is glass, or ice, with weight placed on it that is almost enough to break through. The air feels weighty also.
Pilchard: I'm becoming anxious.
Penny: Me too!
Rouge: You know something that is heavy? Gold! It has extreme of heaviness! Maybe the air will crack open and gold will rain out. I keep following the homunculus shadow.
Dungeon Master: The wind is growing. Closer and closer, the creakingness sound. You see the shadow of the tower ahead now. The homunculus lands and walks against the wind instead of flying. So much effort for its tiny form to struggle into this wind. Not much easier for larger folk either.
Pilchard: My anxiousness increases.
Grolka: Did I mention, my axe is out? It definitely is.
Helsa: My shortsword and dagger also.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus steps into the shadow of tower. So much wind! When you follow, the shadow instantly coldens your feet, like stepping in ice water. Further, and icy wind rises and rises with the shadowing upon you.
Pilchard: Hmm. Is it possible the Dungeon Master provides hints here that maybe we should turn back?
Penny: What? No, a tiny cute homunculus is a hint that we will be okay, I'm certain.
Grolka: Do you remember her saying, "This homunculus is cute, by the way?" I don't remember that.
Helsa: My memory is, it looks like a tiny dragonborn. In the book they are not cute of appearance.
Dungeon Master: You arrive at stairs! Only a few, three or four, leading up to a door. The homunculus points you there.
Rouge: I climb them! What do I see at this door?
Dungeon Master: It has no hinges, no handle. Its material is creepy black stone -- but with texture of wood. Is it stone carved into wood shape? Or wood turned into creepy stone? Hard to tell. In the door's middle is a smooth flat square, no woodiness to it at all. It has three little pits, or indents, in it, arranged triangularly.
Pilchard: Like an even triangle? Because any three pits or indents would be a triangle.
Helsa: Not if in a straight line.
Pilchard: But she already described its triangularity.
Dungeon Master: It's a triangle of sharp shape. One pit is high up from the other two. Those two are close next to one another.
Bingly: How large are these pits or indents? Possibly about the size of a strange black stone marble?
Dungeon Master: Yes! Exactly such a size! Thirty experience points! The homunculus climbs up onto one shoulder of Rouge. It points, here, and here, and here at the indents, with urgency. Then it points out toward the town and gestures of bringing something from the town to the door to put in the indents.
Pilchard: So ... we have to go back to the ruins and quest out two more marbles to put in these holes.
Grolka: Do we even know there is one marble?
Helsa: Rouge and I observed Bingly's discovery of it.
Rouge: Yes! I announce that these indents look just like the marble of a golem oven. We must find two others!
Dungeon Master: You have learned a new goal! I see a late time on the clock, though. This goal must wait until next session. 100 experience points each for puzzling and discoveries!
Pilchard: Excellent!
Penny: I can't wait to find more black marbles!
Rouge: I can't wait to find treasure.
Bingly: Praise for our Dungeon Master -- so much fun this session.
Pilchard: Yes!
Grolka: I agree.
Helsa: This campaign grows more and more in enjoyment.
Dungeon Master: I'm so pleased! Hopefully you do not all die next time.
Pilchard: Um ...
Penny: Uh ...
Dungeon Master: Haha, it's humor!
Penny: Whew!
Dungeon Master: Maybe. We will find out!