Dungeon Master: The plesiosaurus has fled! Before you: the crumbly bridge. Beyond that, the town of dilapidation and ruin. Somewhere in the middle ... the tall tower of black stone. It seems to shadow in every direction, even when the sun hides behind clouds. What do you do?
Pilchard: Well, first I suggest some resting. Our barbaric orc got toothed severely by the plesiosaurus, didn't she? Also, spells were expended. So we might wish to recover some before venturing into unhappy ruins near a tower so creepy.
Plummet: Won't the plesiosaurus rest too?
Grolka: It knows to fear us now. Even rested, it will hesitate to experience such wounding again.
Helsa: Is this a trait of plesiosauses?
Rouge: A treat of please yo sore asses?
Dungeon Master: Certainly many animals behave in this fashion after harmful experience. Probably if you rest before crossing the bridge, you will gain data one way or another about plesiosaurus behaviors in this regard.
Plummet: Well, I'm already lying down for rest. But not too close to the river!
Rouge: I guess the resting is decided, then.
Dungeon Master: I will roll a die of encounters to see if something happens during this rest. No, you rest without event.
Pilchard: So now, the bridge.
Helsa: Is our plan unchanged, with a ranger scouting ahead?
Rouge: Unless Bingly found another familiar with his spell and has a new octopus to unleash.
Bingly: So disrespectful of my expired familiar that would be! There must pass a suitable mourning duration! Also, I did not think of it.
Dungeon Master: Then the ranger proceeds.
Helsa: I use slow and careful steppings. My eyes watch for cracks! I avoid those. Also any holes. Near the crumblesome parts, I stay very nearby to the railing.
Dungeon Master: You cross without events!
Plummet: Whew!
Rouge: I will go next, in case each set of feet going across weakens the bridge to collapsing. Wait! Why is the dungeon master rolling a die?
Dungeon Master: No reason.
Rouge: My care is equal to the hermitly ranger's! There shouldn't be a collapse!
Bingly: Maybe she rolls to see if a plesiosaurus sniffs the smell of enticing tiefling.
Dungeon Master: You may ignore the roll. Possibly it indicated nothing happens.
Rouge: "Possibly" fails to reassure me! But I am continuing so carefully!
Dungeon Master: You successfully cross. A ranger is there.
Grolka: Mages should go next. Last will be the orc of burlsome weight.
Bingly: A very small, light halfling makes sense to go next. On this passage, I avoid looking at the watery grave where my familiar perished.
Dungeon Master: No difficulties occur.
Pilchard: Do you want to go next, sister, or should I?
Plummet: You can go. That way I will be closest to the barbaric defense behind us.
Dungeon Master: Both mages cross without problem.
Grolka: I step upon the crumbly bridge. Will there be more rolling of Dungeon Master dice?
Dungeon Master: Why not? Hmm ... hmm ... hmm ...
Plummet: Why so many rolls!
Dungeon Master: It's fine. No perils appeared.
Grolka: Good. Then let us explore these ruins with promptness. Now that we know the bridge could support us so sturdily, it feels very cowardish and un-barbaric that I had to go last.
Helsa: As first across, I have been looking around to see these ruins, especially nearby ones that might have concealment for monsters.
Dungeon Master: You see many wreckages of buildings. Ahead of the bridge, looks like there's a street leading deeper into town. To right and left, a street around the edge of town. Mostly, these streets are dirt covering old stones from paving that have buried or worn away. There's sort of some open lot leftward. Here is a map I have drawn!
Pilchard: Very nice!
Plummet: You are so talented in artistry, Dungeon Master! Why do I forget this so often?
Dungeon Master: Probably it's my laziness and lack of ever doing artworks.
Helsa: Some buildings appear to have roofs. Is this viewable from our location?
Rouge: Plus, one has gold-looking color inside. Is it actual gold? I am attracted to golden twinkles if I can see them.
Dungeon Master: One or two roofs, possibly, you could see above the sad, crumbly buildings between you and roofed ones. I order you to ignore the gold-ish look of that area. You can't see it from here. There's something hearable, though -- sad, quiet winds blowing through the empty stone of wreckages.
Bingly: This wreckaged town feels very sad to me.
Dungeon Master: Yes! Sad winds, sad buildings of crumbly, everything very sad. Except the tower of creepiness.
Pilchard: Brr, creeply.
Plummet: Ick, and also, yuck!
Grolka: Are we going there or not?
Bingly: I'm for this. What is the mysterious darkness around it? Seems intriguingly magical and cool.
Dungeon Master: Hard to tell from here.
Pilchard: I guess it's decided for us to head that direction.
Grolka: I will lead. In case of lurking monstrosities, I prepare my battleaxe.
Helsa: My shortbow is similarly ready.
Rouge: My eyes are ready to spot any signs of treasure.
Dungeon Master: You approach the first row of buildings. There is deep quiet, except for wind. I think there is a word for this empty, lonely feeling of uninhabited-for-so-long buildings.
Helsa: Desolate.
Dungeon Master: Yes! Twenty experience points! Now you are passing between the first of the buildings. Beyond, another street crosses yours.
Grolka: I look left and right.
Rouge: I look especially right. It's not for a particular reason, definitely not because of a gold-ish look anywhere. I am ignoring that as ordered.
Dungeon Master: Immediately leftward, on the far side of the new street, two desolated buildings, barely even standing walls. But next to them is a place more intact, with part of a roof! Even there are some scraps of wood planks in the doorway, like bones of a door. To the right, more broken, low walls. Past those, a building unusually large. It has a few timbers of roof showing, stretched between the walls and a tall chimney with a broken, falling-down top.
Plummet: Do we want to explore buildings that stand out in these ways?
Grolka: I don't get much excitement from a roof or a chimney.
Rouge: A roof might cover something valuable, though.
Pilchard: Or permit the lairing of enormous bats underneath.
Helsa: If one building has more size than most, as well as a chimney and partial roof, these outstanding characteristics may add up to a worthiness for exploration.
Rouge: I agree! Even with the unusual goldishness disregarded.
Bingly: Also ... the dungeon master took extra effort at drawing these locations. Might be a clue they're worth investigation.
Dungeon Master: Yes! Thirty experience points!
Bingly: There's a however, however ... my character doesn't know of this extra dungeon mastering effort, and poor-condition roofs are not appealingly cool, like a dark-stone tower.
Dungeon Master: Points retracted for Bingly the mage having no reason to earn them. But! Thirty other points awarded for honesty.
Pilchard: My vote is to have a look. It's more to delay approaching a creepy tower than because I find interest in buildings a little less wreckaged standing out from buildings of greater wreckagedness.
Plummet: I agree. We should start with the closer one.
Grolka: All right. I cross the street and approach the doorway of rotten-plank door-bones.
Helsa: I am listening carefully for sounds of activities within this building -- lurkings and so on.
Dungeon Master: Roll how Perceiving you are!
Helsa: I am only 9 Perceptive. Very sad.
Dungeon Master: You hear wind, and orc footsteps.
Grolka: Now I am closer to the door opening. What can I see?
Dungeon Master: It's shady inside. Roll for peeking and peering.
Grolka: 8.
Dungeon Master: A shadowy floor. Looks lumpy.
Grolka: I step close enough to poke inside with my head. Orcs see well in the dark. Can I determine anything yet?
Dungeon Master: Yes! In one corner, the roof is broken open. A little light squeaks in there. Below it is an old, old ring of rocks with charred wood. In the other corner, a rotted bedroll holds a skeleton!
Plummet: Eek! Is it the moving, fighting kind of skeleton?
Dungeon Master: Possibly. But if so, it is very tired. Grolka sees no moving of its limbs or head. However! Some papers are trapped partly under its bones.
Grolka: I will fetch them. Does the tired skeleton wake up for a fight?
Dungeon Master: No. You conclude that probably, it's just a dead skeleton.
Pilchard: Is there writing on the papers? If so, I'd wish to read them!
Rouge: Do any resemble a treasure map? If so, I can happily look it over.
Dungeon Master: Writings, yes. Treasure maps, no.
Rouge: Blah. Give them to a mage, then.
Grolka: I do so. Unless they are written in orcish.
Dungeon Master: No, just commonish.
Pilchard: Before reading, I examine the writing. Is it neat? Fancy of penmanship? Or a chicken scrawl?
Grolka: Why is this important?
Pilchard: I have scribely interest in addition to magely interest.
Dungeon Master: The start is neat. But there's shakiness the more it goes on.
Pilchard: All right, what does it say?
Dungeon Master: Things like, "I can't figure out how Matavor and Arngo got inside!" and "They don't seem to be coming out." Also, "I heard some distant howlings, so I came to hide in this ruin that has partly a roof."
Helsa: I make sure I do not hear distant howlings also. My Perceiving roll is ... 20 in all!
Dungeon Master: Still only wind. Unless Pilchard reads out loud. In that case, you also hear Pilchard reading out loud.
Pilchard: I am intrigued by this story, so probably not. Is there more?
Dungeon Master: Yes. "Rovatam found me! I'm relieved the black mists did not get him. However, we are both so hungry. Arngo had all of our provisioning. It's important for him to come out! Or, if something happened to him, it's important for Matavor to bring out our rations. Also, Rovatam worries about his sister but I tell him at least she has food if she is still with Arngo." Next is, "Rovatam wants to try angling the river. I am very hungry, so I tell him it's a good idea. If I had fishhooks, I would help." Next is, "Something in the river has eaten Rovatam."
Plummet: This story becomes so sad!
Grolka: Are you surprised? Even a barbaric orc with 9 Intelligence remembers, it ends with a skeleton alone on a bedroll.
Plummet: That doesn't stop it from being sad!
Rouge: Can you skip to any mentions of treasure or loot?
Pilchard: Do I find any of those, Dungeon Master?
Dungeon Master: No. I wrote some more details of the lonely skeleton's days of waiting and starvation, but I don't want Plummet to be sad.
Rouge: As long as we're not skipping treasure parts, this omission is suitable.
Bingly: I'm curious why you're still listening instead of looting the skeleton and bedroll.
Rouge: I assumed our orc accomplished this already and found nothing.
Dungeon Master: I didn't narrate such details.
Rouge: No, but my character is unaware of the lack of narration. All she knows is, an orc went in, and an orc came out with some papers.
Bingly: Good point.
Plummet: Pilchard! You are being a writings hog. Hand around each paper as you finish it, at least.
Grolka: I thought the story was making you sad. Why ask to read for yourself?
Plummet: My character doesn't even know to be sad yet, because of her page-hogging brother. So she has great impatient even though I am glad for a Dungeon Master not telling more.
Pilchard: I hand pages to my sister as I go.
Plummet: Thank you.
Rouge: So boring standing around with mages reading! Grolka, are you certain of there being no loot besides these writings? (This is my character asking.)
Grolka: This is how my character answers: I did not look.
Rouge: What! I scurry inside to search, immediately!
Dungeon Master: You find a dried-up ink bottle. So unliquified -- just ink flakes around the inside. Also, a backpack nearby with a tinder-box that has been used up and a lamp that is empty. Some rope is coiled in the bottom, but looks rotten from oldness. Probably not safe for climbing.
Rouge: This skeleton is beggarly! I tell it I hope it was not so disappointing when alive. Also, I look carefully at the bones for jewelry or a coin purse.
Dungeon Master: You find a ring!
Rouge: No one entered with me, correct? I hide it.
Bingly: Chaotic Chaotic ... very accurately alignmented, your character
Rouge: Thank you. What about under the bedroll, Dungeon Master? I check there.
Dungeon Master: Mostly some bugs.
Pilchard: Do any of the pages relate to this group's explorations near the creepy dark tower? I am guessing that is the "inside" the skeleton said two of them got into.
Dungeon Master: It's considerable reading to determine this. Are you engaging in it?
Pilchard: Yes.
Plummet: Also, it's a yes for me.
Rouge: While they have noses stuck in so many pages of skeleton diarying, anybody want to investigate the other building that's notable on this street?
Bingly: Probably it's more interesting than watching mages read.
Helsa: Possibly also more dangerous, though.
Rouge: Bingly is brave and will go first.
Bingly: I don't think I said so.
Dungeon Master: These discussions -- suspend them briefly, please!
Rouge: Okay.
Bingly: Sure. What's up?
Dungeon Master: If some are truly splitting away to investigate elsewhere, we must determine who involves themselves in which activity. Then, it's easy for a Dungeon Master to switch between one group and another. Remember my lowly level of Dungeon Mastering experience! Two or three discussions at once -- it's too many. I can't manage it.
Rouge: Sorry.
Bingly: I also express regret.
Grolka: Seems to me the same strategy would apply as in our recent falling adventure. A fighting type should be in each group, and a healing type also.
Helsa: So again I would go with Rouge and Bingly, and Grolka with the Plume mages?
Rouge: Works for me.
Plummet: Orc's for me too! Haha!
Grolka: It's fortunate I'm barbaric or that joke might provide offense.
Plummet: Oh gosh, sorry!
Grolka: No problem. A barbarian mostly lacks sensitivity of that sort.
Dungeon Master: So! Plame mages are perusing. Bingly, Rouge, and Helsa investigate down the street in southernly, easternly fashion. Milvicent the driver --
Pilchard: I forgot all about her.
Dungeon Master: -- will stay with a large, strong-looking orc and two wizards instead of going with an octopus mage, suspicious tiefling, and homely elf.
Plummet: With a description of this sort, seems like these teams aren't so even.
Grolka: Yes. Our team has four, and their team just three.
Plummet: No, I meant --
Grolka: Also, if we find a wagon, our team has a driver.
Helsa: Orc logic ... is there any arguing with it?
Plummet: I guess it's a "no."
Dungeon Master: All right, exploring time! Team Exploration, down the street you go. Team Reading, you remain. Both teams continue to hear sad wind. Team Reading, you also hear and feel the sad wind whiffling at your pages.
Pilchard: Should we go inside out of this sad wind?
Grolka: Still sounded sad when I was inside. Right, Dungeon Master?
Dungeon Master: Yes, but a little more distantly sad.
Plummet: Also no worry about our pages blowing away sadly.
Grolka: All right. Mages and a wagon driver, enter the building. A barbaric orc will guard the doorway.
Dungeon Master: Your reading proceeds, not yet revealing sentences or paragraphs about approaching the creepy dark tower. The guardian of orcish type barbarically observes only Team Exploration walking down the street to the other building.
Pilchard: Reading continues, then.
Plummet: I will ask our driver, "Do you want to read pages when I complete them?"
Dungeon Master: These times are medieval, so only a 20% chance she can read. Here's the roll ... first die is 0, second die is ... also 0.
Pilchard: Oh no, so wasteful of a doubled zero!
Grolka: Eh. Seems like not such a big deal to me.
Plummet: Why not? It only happens once in a hundred rolls! (Usually.)
Grolka: Every number happens only once in a hundred rolls. It's like logic of playing lottery numbers. Would you play 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6?
Plummet: No, that would never happen!
Grolka: Same likelihood to happen as 13, 24, 29, 45, 50, 33, but you'd play those, right?
Dungeon Master: Genuinely the same? I'm suspicious.
Pilchard: Definitely the same.
Plummet: Wow. I feel lucky I have never bought tickets for lotterying.
Dungeon Master: So we say, "Natural 20! So fortunate!" or "I roll a 1. This terrible die, I curse it!" Only then, "11. Not too good or bad." But around us our universe says, "20, 1, 11 ... why do I care?"
Rouge: Is this a game, or a classroom of statistics or philosophical?
Dungeon Master: It is all! Our minds are enriched! 50 experience points each!"
Plummet: Woohoo!
Dungeon Master: Now ... Team Exploration. The building approachment is accomplished. You're very near. A sad wind whistles through the roof timbers mentioned before. Also, across the crumbly chimney of top-falling-off. This sound -- almost ghostly in hauntingness!
Helsa: I'm not excited to encounter a ghost.
Rouge: Me either. No way for ghosts to be carrying money.
Bingly: Is the door splinter-fied like at the skeleton house?
Dungeon Master: No -- in fact, very solid looking. Iron bands and wood that looks very dense.
Helsa: Should we open it, then?
Rouge: Could be locked or trapped. First let's do searching.
Bingly: Who's our best perceiver? Definitely it's not me!
Helsa: My Perceiving is +4.
Rouge: Only +3 here. Go ahead and ranger it, Helsa.
Helsa: That roll adds to 22!
Dungeon Master: No traps, but yes locked.
Rouge: I will tool it with my thieving set! 24!
Dungeon Master: Unlatched. Now, who will be the opener?
Helsa: It's me, I suppose. Are a tiefling and halfling ready?
Rouge: Yes -- I have armed myself!
Bingly: My staff is prepared.
Helsa: I draw my shortsword and open the door, then.
Dungeon Master: It's heavy! Slow and sluggish, it opens at your push, and with a loud, long creaking noise.
Rouge: What's inside? Does it look golden and treasurely, like on the map we are ignoring?
Dungeon Master: Not really. Shelves, dusty counters, and empty cases of some kind for holding goods. There's a clue about the sort of place it is beneath the chimney, though -- a very large oven of black iron.
Plummet: Ooh! Like in a restaurant or a bakery?
Pilchard: Or, you know, possibly a crematorium.
Plummet: Ick!
Dungeon Master: Your characters are absent! No clueing Team Exploration with un-present notions!
Pilchard: Sorry.
Helsa: Also, what kind of shelves and cases for goods would be in a crematorium?
Pilchard: --
Dungeon Master: Stop! I see a mouth opening to answer forbiddenly!
Pilchard: Sorry again. I'll close it.
Bingly: Hmm. Kind of sad the Plume mages aren't here to say such things.
Dungeon Master: Why?
Bingly: Because the answer for Helsa's question is, "Urns." And if Penny Plume got rescued from being charcoaled in a crematorium, we could say, "A Penny saved is not a Penny urned!"
Pilchard: Boo!
Grolka: Also boo.
Dungeon Master: So many assumptions of faulty quality! First, if Plume mages were there, possibly the dungeon master would have answered Penny's question with, "Yes, very like a bakery!" Second, even if the place is crematory in nature, how would it peril a mage after so long with no fire in it? And third is worst of all!
Bingly: What is third?
Dungeon Master: That a dungeon master will not give you negative experience points for such painful punning!
Plummet: (I thought it was pretty funny...)
Bingly: Thank you, Plummet! You said that very urnestly.
Dungeon Master: Hmmm ... actually funnier that time, but it's still minus 10 experience points for brazenness of defying dungeon masterly threats.
Bingly: Yeah, I had it coming, I guess.
Helsa: If puns are over, I go to investigate the oven and discover its variety. Normal cooking? Bakery? Corpse cindering?
Dungeon Master: Roll for Investigating the oven.
Helsa: 22. We're rolling with skill suddenly.
Dungeon Master: With this roll, you can tell it's a baking oven just at a look -- no need to even open it.
Helsa: Even so, I think I'll open it. Maybe a long-ago baker hid treasure in it.
Dungeon Master: Roll initiative!
Helsa: What?
Dungeon Master: Instantly when the door of this oven opens, out leaps this being!
Plummet: Ooh, more pictures!
Dungeon Master: Its flesh is the color of toasty and crust-like. If not for its attackery, it might look appetizing, perhaps.
Helsa: My initiative: 14.
Rouge: Mine also!
Bingly: I roll 16.
Dungeon Master: The bread golem is slow, apparently. Bingly goes first.
Bingly: I attempt a spell of Color Spray! It must Constitution save or have blindness for a turn.
Dungeon Master: It very easily makes such a save.
Bingly: Oh. Then with any movement remnants I have, I will retreat.
Dungeon Master: Helsa or Rouge can go next.
Rouge: You first, and possibly I can use Sneak Attack if you're close.
Helsa: I attempt the slicing of this bread golem with my shortsword. Oh, very poor. It's only a 9.
Dungeon Master: You are fortunate! Bread is not so hard for slicing, so you hit!
Helsa: My excitement at this is momentary, because for damage I roll only 2 points.
Rouge: I also slice at it, but sneakily! 13! Because my ally is near, there's an extra die of damage, so a total of 8.
Dungeon Master: It attacks you with a bready limb! Slam! Slam! Both slams hit ... 11 points is the damage.
Rouge: So much damage!
Bingly: I will step up and attack with my staff. 17 for hitting and 4 for damaging.
Dungeon Master: Your damage seems less because of its soft but springy flesh. Helsa?
Helsa: I use a Bonus Action to cast my Hunter's Mark spell, which after reading it I now realize I should have done before. Next, I attack it. Sadly, that roll is 8.
Dungeon Master: Failure!
Rouge: A thieveling tiefling does not miss, though -- 21 total for hitting, 7 total for damaging. Then I Bonus Act to Disengage and move far away!
Dungeon Master: The golem applies its crusty slams to Helsa, then. Only one hits, for 3 damage.
Bingly: I now attack with a dagger instead of staffing it. My dagger stab is for 4 points after rolling a 9 to hit.
Dungeon Master: It seems more damaged than from your staff.
Helsa: My new attack roll is not new, but another 8.
Rouge: I drop my sword to arrow the golem more distantly. My hit roll is a success, and damage is 8.
Dungeon Master: More breadly slams at Helsa! Again, only one hits, and for only 2 damage.
Rouge: Where were these poor rolls when I was getting golemed?
Bingly: I continue daggering. 9 to hit and -- bleh. 1 damage.
Helsa: Slice! Ah. Well, at least it's not an 8 again.
Dungeon Master: So you hit?
Helsa: No, this time it's 6.
Rouge: Boo! Another arrow from me. 9, so barely I hit it! Aha! 12 damage points.
Bingly: Wow. Our rogue is so damaging!
Dungeon Master: The golem strikes! This time, it pummels Helsa thoroughly for 11 points of damage!
Helsa: Pain.
Bingly: Don't worry, Helsa, a mage is here to dagger it for you. Nope, that misses.
Helsa: To avoid dying, I use a Cure Wounds spell on my breaded and bruised body. 9 points regained.
Rouge: I'm back to hitting with a 14, and the damage is 8!
Dungeon Master: The golem continues with no relenting! Again, two hits upon Helsa! Remove those 9 points you cured.
Bingly: This golem seems very tough.
Dungeon Master: Possibly I created it without imagining a party so quickly splitting in two.
Grolka: I wondered about how wise that was.
Bingly: Well, I dagger it with a roll of 16 for damage of 3 points.
Helsa: Again, I cure my wounds. 10 points.
Rouge: Arrow! Hit! Damage is 7!
Dungeon Master: The golem repeats its strategy. Only 7 points of slamming on the ranger this time, though.
Helsa: 7 points is still significant! I have only 4 left and no more curing.
Bingly: Yikes! Let's hurry and kill it! Unfortunately, I do not help this turn. My roll is 4.
Helsa: Back to attacking, since spells are gone. Finally, I hit! My damage equals 7.
Rouge: I arrow it for 8.
Dungeon Master: Slam! A hit! Slam! A miss. Damage ... 4 points.
Helsa: I slump groundward.
Rouge: Oh no!
Bingly: I urge our hermitly ranger not to die, then I dagger the creature for 3 points.
Dungeon Master: It remains upright.
Rouge: I shoot it! 9 points!
Dungeon Master: It crumbles into a pile of slices and crust.
Plummet: Yay!
Helsa: I roll a Death Saving Throw and succeed.
Bingly: I attempt to Medicine our ranger into stability. I'll use my Lucky feat for a better chance. Success!
Rouge: Whew!
Helsa: I agree.
Dungeon Master: 500 experience points to each golem-killer!
Pilchard: Wow, now I wish we did not split up.
Helsa: I wished that several times during the fight.
Dungeon Master: Well, the clock says it is late, so I think we can now end this session. A bonus of 100 more experience points for all characters!
Pilchard: Excellent. Now I have achieved level 3.
Plummet: Ooh, I'm so close!
Grolka: Same.
Dungeon Master: I am guiltified at providing insufficient experience for all characters to increase. Will 25 more points succeed for you two?
Plummet: Yes! Can I have them?
Grolka: For me also.
Dungeon Master: It's a loan of 25 experience from the Bank of Dungeon Mastery. The next experience gained will be 25 less to repay it.
Plummet: Thank you!
Grolka: Yes, thanks.
Dungeon Master: Good, then! Everyone becomes third level for next time!
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