Eighth Dungeon! To Find the Last Marble!

Well, readers, some weeks passed in awaiting the return of Luce Sapphro's player. Also, then, more weeks because of the household-joining from Luce's move. Where does this item go? Is there room for that one? Why was this one brought at all when obviously I should have thrown it away? Additionally also, other enjoyments were prioritied ahead of Dungeoning and Dragoning. Now, though, it's a record of our new session!

Dungeon Master: Two marbles are now the possessions of the group! Where is the third? It's tonight's mystery for solving!
Plummet: Oh no. Mysterying sounds so laborious! My hope was, there's one building left with a roof we have not been in, so maybe a marble is there.
Grolka: Possibly it's just an easy-solution sort of mystery.
Dungeon Master: Unknown until there is sleuthing to discover it! What do you do?
Pilchard: Well, our plan at the tower porch was, look inside the last roofly buildings. Why change it now?
Rouge: Even if no marble is there, treasure is a possibility, so I favor the plan.
Bingly: No other clues point elsewhere, right? Let's go to the last building of roof-having.
Dungeon Master: Soon you arrive! It is triangular in shape, with a door that is uncrumbled.
Grolka: I attempt opening it.
Dungeon Master: The knob turns. The door opens -- no difficulty! Inside is dim, but you see counters, and cases. Behind the counters, a kitchenish area. Rice cookers are there! Also mallets and large usu for pounding of cooked rice with mallets.
Plummet: What's usu?
Helsa: According to google translate, a mortar.
Plummet: Don't you stick bricks together with this?
Helsa: No, it's a heavy object, hollowed like a bowl, for grinding of things.
Dungeon Master: Or pounding.
Bingly: I am forseeing a rice monster.
Pilchard: Maybe a rice-ceratops?
Luce: Isn't rice just an ingredient here? Something must be made from it, if there's pounding in a mortar. In the bakery, a bread golem attacked, not a flour-thing. And in the gargoyle-guarded shop, it was an ale-emental, not whatever ale is made from.
Rouge: What is made from pounded rice?
Dungeon Master: The Dungeon Master eagerly awaits a correct guess. There could be experience points for it!
Pilchard: It must be something our Dungeon Master favors ... what is made with rice that she likes?
Plummet: Krispies?
Grolka: Sushi rolls?
Helsa: Pilaf?
Bingly: Pudding?
Dungeon Master: Sigh. No experience points for any of these guessings.
Pilchard: Will there be experience points for a deducing instead? Let's see ... if needs an usu and is made with rice and is something our Japanese Dungeon Master enjoys, can we infer its identity?
Plummet: I don't know that many foods of Japan.
Grolka: Also, can we assume our Dungeon Master enjoys it? Is ale one of her enjoyables?
Luce: Japanese foods ... which do I know? Mmm ... sushi is already a no ... miso ... ramen, udon ... no rice in those, right?
Rouge: Egg rolls?
Bingly: From China, not Japan. Or, wait, maybe even from United States. I don't know how much authentic they have.
Pilchard: Mochis! Are those made from rice?
Dungeon Master: Yes!
Pilchard: Triumph! How many experience points in my reward?
Dungeon Master: Zero. So much knowledge of your girlfriend's mochi-lovingness you have! It's an oldest thing about me that you know ...  I even wrote for you a story of this! Why this delay to guess or deduce with correctness? So peeving!
Plummet: Oh! Yes, we all read those emails of early courting! Shameful to remember so slowly!
Grolka: Also, he had uncertainty rice was even a component.
Rouge: An embarrassing failure of boyfriending.
Bingly: Usually so thoughtful ... it's a mis-step for sure.
Dungeon Master: 50 experience points each for these girlfriend supportings!
Plummet: Woohoo!
Pilchard: Extreme guilt and apologizing. Now I must buy you mochis when I go out today.
Dungeon Master: Forgiven! Plus, 100 experience points! But I will deduct them if you return mochiless from erranding.
Pilchard: I won't.
Plummet: So ... now we must fight a mochi golem? But where is it?
Grolka: I prepare my battleaxe.
Helsa: A ranger will search. Do I roll?
Dungeon Master: No rolls needed. You search and search, but no mochis are found.
Plummet: What?
Rouge: I don't get it.
Bingly: Hmm. Another mystery for solving?
Pilchard: Aha! Solved! Mochis were made ... therefore, they must all have been eaten. Bread or ale, it's understandable some might remain unconsumed. But who would leave mochis?
Dungeon Master: Correct! 50 experience points!
Helsa: So no marble is found here either?
Dungeon Master: Correct also.
Plummet: But ... it's the last building that is roofed. We don't have to search every unroofed building too, do we? Too exhausting!
Helsa: Maybe we can puzzle it.
Rouge: Using what for clues?
Bingly: Let's think. One marble in a bakery. The roof there was partial. One marble in an ale-ery. Its roof, complete. What other characteristics were notable?
Grolka: Doors. A heavy one at a bakery, a locked one at the ale-ery.
Helsa: Should we look at roofless buildings that have doors?
Luce: Wait! I was gargoyled at the ale-ery! What if we look for other buildings with such nefariousness in statuary?
Bingly: We can look for both in one search -- doors or gargoyles present, equals places worth examination.
Plummet: So many buildings to look at, though. Oh!
Grolka: What?
Plummet: Maybe a homunculus knows about doors and gargoyles! We could ask it and not have to walk and peer so much. I look at the homunculus and see if it was listening.
Dungeon Master: Sadly, it shrugs and shakes its head.
Pilchard: I have an idea. Why don't we go to the bakery and search for broken gargoyle pieces near the door? Possibly a gargoyle was sent to guard each marble, but some other group broke the bakery one. This way, if we find gargoyle pieces at the bakery, we would only have to look for gargoyles, not examine every building with a partial door.
Plummet: Good idea!
Helsa: I like this stratagem. 
Luce: Still, on the way there we should keep eyes out for doors and gargoyles both, so there's no need for backtracking later.
Rouge: I will do this also ... especially since no roof and a door has more likelihood of treasure than no roof and no door.
Bingly: Or no walls or roof or door.
Dungeon Master: All buildings on the way to the bakery are very crumblesome. No sign of doors or gargoyles or gargoyle pieces. Now, who searches about the bakery? Make rolls of Perceiving.
Pilchard: 17.
Plummet: Natural 20! That becomes 22 with my skill.
Grolka: 5. No gargoyle pieces or door. I thought you said this building was doored? I can't even Perceive one.
Helsa: 9.
Luce: Eh. 7.
Rouge: 17!
Bingly: 2. I'm sure the bakery was around here some where. Did we get lost?
Dungeon Master: With these rolls, Pilchard and Rouge think, Hmm, is this piece of rock part of a gargoyle wing or foot, perhaps? But Plummet has sharper eyes and says, "Look! It's definitely a gargoyle head, right?" All agree when she shows them. A gargoyle was near the bakery as well as the ale-ery. 100 experience points to Pilchard for this success of his idea.
Pilchard: Thank you!
Luce: Now we can stop looking for doors and only search for gargoyles and pieces of gargoyles.
Rouge: I intend to continue my door search. Especially, I will be looking for doors of very strong and solid appearance.
Bingly: What if a ruinous building has all walls in collapse and only a powerful door and door frame?
Rouge: I'll decide that if I find one.
Dungeon Master: All right. All searchers, roll for Perceiving gargoyle pieces throughout the town.
Pilchard: 17.
Plummet: 5. Boo.
Grolka: 15.
Helsa: 23.
Luce: 9.
Rouge: 21.
Bingly: 9.
Dungeon Master: After six hours of searching, Helsa discovers a gargoylesome stone leg in front of a mostly standing building. There are two stories of this building. No roof on the top story, and mostly no floor for story number two, but one room of floor one has ceiling and a shut door. All other rooms, only broken beams and doors collapsed or off hinges. This information is visible from open windows or holes in walls.
Bingly: Wait! Before entering and exploring a door of possible golem-releasing, I remain injured from ale-whelming. Is healing available? Or can we do some short resting?
Plummet: Probably I would become hungry during six hours of peering for gargoyle bits. I think a lunch rest would have happened.
Dungeon Master: If all agree, this is allowable. Perform a Short Rest, in this case.
Pilchard: I recover spells.
Plummet: Me too!
Grolka: I spend a Hit Die to heal from a scratch.
Helsa: No rest needed for me.
Luce: Can I recover spells?
Rouge: No. It is a wizard thing, not an Arcane Trickster one. I looked when deciding to be a Thief.
Bingly: I spend all Hit Dice. Much better now!
Dungeon Master: So, with all these recoveries, what do you do at the building marked by a gargoyle leg with one intact room?
Pilchard: Was it a business? Is there a sign?
Dungeon Master: The first, unknown. The second, no.
Pilchard: Any clues for detecting its nature?
Dungeon Master: Do you enter to search?
Pilchard: Not without an orc barbarian for protection.
Grolka: I accompany the Plume Mage.
Plummet: I'll go too!
Dungeon Master: The missing front door opened into some room of merchanting, it appears. A counter is on one side, half collapsed. Scattered floorwise are broken dummies, worn by weather.
Pilchard: Is it a shop of ventriloquism?
Plummet: Or the kind to test how well wagons crash?
Dungeon Master: Neither. You notice a few have scraps of cloth hanging on them, almost aged until disintegrating.
Plummet: Oh! Like mannequins from a store for clothing?
Dungeon Master: Exactly like this. 30 experience points!
Rouge: Hearing a lack of cries and alarm, I enter also. When I see the counter of merchantry, I go immediately to search for a coin box or other valuables.
Dungeon Master: Roll to see if you perceive such in its collapse of wood and boards.
Rouge: Grr. My total ... 5.
Dungeon Master: Seems like no things of that sort.
Pilchard: Is the door to an only complete room in this room?
Dungeon Master: No. You see the empty arch of one doorway in the middle of the wall, opposed to the front door. Also, at the far right wall, a troublingly dilapidated staircase.
Pilchard: I ask my protective orc to explore the empty arch doorway with me.
Grolka: Did you phrase it this way? I'm not sure I like being called "your" orc.
Pilchard: No. More like, "I think I will go this way. Can you come with me?"
Grolka: Tolerable. I go.
Dungeon Master: In this space you find seamstering tables. Scissors -- very rustly. Scatters of needle-shaped rustiness. Other tools for the making of clothes. Cabinetry for the storing of things. Maybe threads, or maybe measuring tapes. On the left end of this area, the door is closed to the only complete room. It lies next door.
Rouge: I search inside the dummies. Maybe one is secretly a hiding place for valuables.
Dungeon Master: They are creaky and decrepit. No hidden goodness in any.
Helsa: I ask our halfling and new tiefling if we should go in also.
Luce: Probably better than standing around in a street.
Bingly: I agree. Nothing cool is happening out here.
Dungeon Master: Inside, you see what has been described. Rouge is rattling mannequins.
Bingly: I don't know of her counter searching, so I will go and repeat it.
Luce: I assist.
Bingly: I roll a 17, but it becomes 15 from poorness of wisdom.
Luce: I also roll a 17! And it becomes 21 from my skilledness!
Dungeon Master: Luce discovers a drawer wedged under several collapsed boards of this counter.
Luce: Can this drawer be pulled out from its wedged location?
Dungeon Master: Seems stuck by the collapsed boards. Which could be moved? Which will bring more collapse if moved? It's very puzzle-ish.
Luce: What about this skill -- Thieves' Tools?
Dungeon Master: Maybe helpful to move puzzle pieces, not so helpful to decide which to move.
Luce: Aha! Investigate! I will look and analyze this puzzle for clues of solution.
Dungeon Master: Good! Please roll.
Luce: 15.
Dungeon Master: You think you see a way. Roll for bracing things and moving things with your Thieves' Tools.
Luce: This skill is worse than my Investigating. Oof. 5.
Dungeon Master: Still very stuck.
Luce: Well ... I am strong, I now remember. Can I try pulling it out with brutish force?
Dungeon Master: Yes. Roll Strength.
Luce: 7.
Dungeon Master: Insufficient.
Luce: Wait! In my burgling pack, I have a crowbar. I apply it!
Dungeon Master: Roll strength again, but Advantaged this time.
Luce: 9 and 18 ... the total is 21 with Strength modification.
Dungeon Master: Your prying loosens the drawer. But now the whole counter -- collapsing! Do you leap back to avoid the crushing weight on your hands or feet? Or do you try hurriedly to pull out the drawer with possible consequences of finger or toe injuries?
Luce: Stubbornness forces me to attempt the drawer pulling.
Dungeon Master: Make a Save of Dexterity with Disadvantage.
Luce: So poor. 4 total.
Dungeon Master: 7 points of painful crushing! On this d6, 1 or 2 is foot crushing, 3 or 4 is hand crushing, 5 is foot crushed and trapped, and 6 is hand crushed and trapped. The roll is 4, so your fingers now are bruised and throbbing. Also, the drawer is now buried.
Rouge: I hope no fragile treasures occupied that drawer!
Dungeon Master: Meanwhile, Plume Mages and a barbarian have arrived at the only door. What do you do?
Pilchard: I could listen at this door in hopes of hearing any activity beyond. But so far, no activity has happened until we opened some container of golem-making.
Plummet: I could cast my Detect Thoughts spell! But do golems have thoughts?
Grolka: I could just open the door. So I do.
Plummet: Wait!
Dungeon Master: Too late. The door is now open.
Pilchard: Great. We're about to get golem-ed again.
Grolka: What do I see inside?
Dungeon Master: A closet, or store room, it seems. Many bolts of cloth are stacked on shelves inside. Very musty in odor. This room is about three meters by three meters, but due to such a volume of shelves, the space to stand in is much less. Maybe only one and one half meters by two meters.
Pilchard: What kind of golem is there?
Dungeon Master: No golem that you see.
Grolka: Yet.
Pilchard: Well, Grolka. You are at the door.
Grolka: I walk in and push at the bolts of cloth. Do any leap up to attack?
Helsa: This has a sensation of anticlimax so far.
Dungeon Master: No leaping of bolts.
Plummet: Are we sure that was a gargoyle piece outside this building? Anyway, I guess I'll look in those cabinets described earlier.
Dungeon Master: You find many spools of thread. Also ...
Plummet: Yes?
Dungeon Master: These spools begin unwinding! Thin wisps of thread fly out to knot and tangle! Some you see, still have needles attached! Roll for Initiating!
Pilchard: 3.
Plummet: 18!
Grolka: 4.
Helsa: Those of us elsewhere than the room? 9. 
Luce: 2.
Rouge: Wow, we're sucking at this far! Wait -- natural 20 for me! 23 total!
Bingly: Very exceptional, both you and Plummet. My roll is ... 14. Pretty average.
Dungeon Master: First is Rouge! Unfortunate, because she remains unaware of these occurrences. Is there an activity you wish to perform related to the room of entry?
Rouge: I go over to peer at wreckage from the counter. Any details with interest there?
Dungeon Master: Roll to Perceive.
Rouge: 16.
Dungeon Master: Two coins that were not on the floor previously, now have rolled out from somewhere to rest by the collapsed counter. One is copper, one is silver. Plummet -- threads and needles endanger you! What is your action?
Plummet: I shut back the cabinet and say, "Eek! Threads and needles acting so aggressively! Help!" Then I try very hard to prevent any opening of the cabinet from inside.
Dungeon Master: The turn of Bingly is next.
Bingly: I dash into the room of sewing! "What?" I ask. "Where?" I only see a Plume Mage holding shut a cabinet and an orc near an open doorway of closet, plus another Plume Mage looking closet-wise. Seems like not much for me to do.
Dungeon Master: The golem's turn! Its threads push with golem strength against the cabinet door. Plummet must roll a Strength check against the golem roll.
Plummet: Yes, but now I am a Diviner since achieving level 3! I can Portent the golem and make it use a roll I rolled after we Long Rested!
Dungeon Master: Clever! What roll must it use?
Plummet: A 2! Oh. Wait. I checked rules just now to make sure I had them correct. No Portenting a creature I cannot see, and it is inside the cabinet.
Dungeon Master: Sad. But 20 experience for diligence in rule-checking. The golem rolls 9 total.
Plummet: My roll is only 8. And my Strength -- it's magely and reduces that to 7.
Dungeon Master: The golem pushes open the cabinet door by a crack. Its threads and needles fly out! One needle is a sorrowful roll of 1. But the other ... 19! Plus a bonus makes it more than 20. Damage is small -- only 4. But now it is stitching you! Every round until stopped -- more damage.
Plummet: Ow! My hit points are low!
Helsa: It is a hermitly ranger's turn, yes? I rush into the room, revealing my sword. Threads seem very cuttable -- I slice them! No, probably not. Only an 11. For a Bonus Action, I cast my Hunter's Mark at it.
Dungeon Master: Grolka is next.
Grolka: I Rage at these threatening threads that stitch my companion. Also, I attack recklessly, allowing Advantage for my roll. Others gain Advantage against me, though. One of my Advantaged Dice is a Natural 20! I choose to Savagely Attack as well, which is similar to Advantage but for damage. The total becomes 19 damage.
Dungeon Master: You split numerous threads ... but seems like your damage is unexpectedly low. Maybe weapons are untroublesome to a thing made of so many tiny threads. Next will be Pilchard.
Pilchard: Seems like I'd better Witch Bolt it. 20 for my Spell Attack! My damage is 18.
Dungeon Master: Seems more effective than axing. Lastly, Luce.
Luce: I also will run in to sword the strands. Does 16 hit?
Dungeon Master: Yes!
Luce: I damage it Sneakily then, for 16 points.
Dungeon Master: Or, it appears, somewhat less. Rouge may act now.
Rouge: Probably I should come back later for these coins. If room remains for me to attack, I will do so.
Dungeon Master: Sorry. It's Plummet in front of this cabinet, Luce and Helsa between you and the cabinet, and Grolka on the other side from Plummet. No room for reaching in with your sword.
Rouge: Then with my Infernal Fiendishness, I cast Fire Bolt at it. 22! Damage is 7!
Dungeon Master: Several threads catch fire and are singed! Needles of those threads drop to the floor. Plummet is now being stitched at the start of her turn. 4 more of damage! Then you may go.
Plummet: I squeak from pain! Then I Cure Wounds on this stitchery and feel better.
Bingly: My character is next, but very poor at combatting. I throw a dagger. Hmm! 17! Damage is only 3, though.
Dungeon Master: Less, actually. Golemry occurs! One threaded needle at each melee combatter! 
Plummet: Wait! I force it to use my Portent of 2 against me!
Dungeon Master: You are missed by the new needle, but continue to receive stitches from the first one. Grolka, it has Advantage on your Recklessly Attacking barbaricness. 22 to hit! 3 damage plus continual stitching! Luce! You are attacked Critically! 10 damage points!
Luce: So painful! But wait, I have Temporary points remaining. I use them and suffer less.
Dungeon Master: Helsa may act.
Helsa: I miss all threads with a roll of 5 total.
Dungeon Master: Grolka! You are stitched at the start of your turn. 5 points! What do you do?
Grolka: More Reckless Attacking. Definitely it's another hit. 10 points.
Dungeon Master: Or, less. Pilchard. 
Pilchard: My bolting continues for ... only 2 damage. I throw a dagger as well ... a miss.
Luce: More stitching on my turn?
Dungeon Master: Yes. 3 points of it.
Luce: Can I move away and cut loose this needle?
Dungeon Master: If you move normally, the golem may attack you an extra time. A Disengage is possible, but then you have no action to cut at the thread.
Luce: Still, I will do that. Endless needling seems unbearable.
Rouge: My turn! Now there is room for swording! But I roll very poorly.
Dungeon Master: Plummet's turn to be stitched! 3 points.
Plummet: I will cast a spell of Chromatic Orb at it with energy of Fire. Only a 10 to hit, though.
Dungeon Master: A miss, misfortunately. Bingly?
Bingly: I throw my last dagger. 13.
Dungeon Master: Miss. Again the golem! It stitches at Helsa ...
Plummet: I force it to use my Portent of 8!
Dungeon Master: Does 13 hit you, Helsa?
Helsa: With relief, no. Thank you, Plummet.
Dungeon Master: A stitching at Rouge! Definitely this hits, and for 5 points of damage plus persistent stitchery on your turns. Helsa may act.
Helsa: I attack with a roll of Natural 1.
Luce: How is your dicing so unlucky?
Helsa: Unknown.
Pilchard: If you think statistically, then even without superstition involved, it's certain that some individuals will have average rolls consistently worse than most individuals. This is the Law of Large Numbers.
Grolka: Seems suspicious that statistics could predict Helsa's continued unluckiness.
Pilchard: It's observational only. We can't say, "Helsa will probably continue her poor rolling." But if poor rolling continues, we can say, "This outcome is unsurprising due to millions of people rpg-ing and otherwise dicing. Some must inevitably do worse than others. Helsa is so far one of those."
Grolka: Hmm. Regardless, it is time for barbaric axing. Chop! Failure. My roll is also a Natural 1.
Helsa: No need to roll so commiseratingly for my sake.
Grolka: I will try not to do so again.
Dungeon Master: Oh, also on your turn there was supposed to be persistence of stitching. 3 points. Pilchard?
Pilchard: Witch Bolting continues for 4. My last dagger is flung with ... 8.
Dungeon Master: A miss. Luce! You are stitched for 4 points.
Luce: I attempt cutting the thread.
Dungeon Master: This is an easy Dexterity roll.
Luce: I waste a Natural 20 succeeding.
Rouge: My turn? I sword at it. 12.
Dungeon Master: You miss. Also, you receive ongoing stitches. 4 points. Plummet, you are stitched for 4 points.
Plummet: I cast a Magic Missile of Level 2 to avoid more contributing to this dice-flunking Law of Large Numbers. 11 points.
Grolka: Still a below average roll.
Bingly: For my turn, I am out of daggers. You said there are scissors? I look for a pair not too rusty to use.
Dungeon Master: Roll dice of percentage.
Bingly: 75.
Dungeon Master: You are able to check two scissor pairs each round. The first two break rustily or refuse to open or close.
Bingly: Disappointing.
Dungeon Master: Now, the golem! Rouge, Helsa, Plummet, and Grolka remain within reach. New needles attack Rouge, Helsa, and Grolka. Rouge is stitched for 5 points.
Rouge: I yell, "This golem -- what a prick! A healing would help greatly right now ..."
Dungeon Master: Helsa.
Helsa: I will cure 11 of Rouge's wounds.
Dungeon Master: Pilchard.
Pilchard: 11 points of Bolting! But now I am daggerless. Like Bingly, I also attempt location of working scissors. Do I roll percentage also?
Dungeon Master: No. You check two pairs of scissors this round as well -- they are unfunctioning.
Pilchard: Hmm. Seems like Bingly's percentage roll deprived us of working scissors.
Bingly: Sorry.
Dungeon Master: However, your characters only know that so far all scissors are broken. Are others also impossible for use? Uncertain. Grolka, you are stitched for 3 and may go.
Grolka: My reckless attacking produces a hit. My Savage Attacking makes it 12 points.
Luce: My turn, yes? I cast False Life for 11 Temporary Hit Points. Also, I draw and drop a dagger for some searching mage to use instead of scissors.
Bingly: Good planning!
Dungeon Master: Rouge -- two needles are stitching you now. 9 points is the damage.
Rouge: Unfair! I Bonus Action to Disengage and perform the Dexterity check to cut a thread. Will a 9 succeed?
Dungeon Master: Yes. It is easy.
Rouge: I also say, "Help! I am still being stitched!
Dungeon Master: The turn of Plummet arrives. Stitching amounts to 4 damage points.
Plummet: I apply curing to myself for 7 points.
Bingly: Can I retrieve the dagger of Luce, move to Rouge, and Dexterity check to cut her other thread?
Dungeon Master: Yes.
Bingly: 12. Stitching fixed!
Dungeon Master: The golem strikes! A hit at Helsa for 3 points! A second needle at Plummet misses! Another at Grolka misses also. Helsa may go. You are stitched for another 3 at the turn's start.
Helsa: I shortsword it with a roll of 14. 6 points of swording and 6 points of Force if it hits.
Dungeon Master: It does. Pilchard?
Pilchard: 7 more of Bolting. I persist in futile searching for scissors of use.
Dungeon Master: You find none. Grolka receives 6 points to begin her turn.
Grolka: Reckless! 20 to hit. Savage! 10 for damage.
Luce: I remember now that "Light" means a weapon may be attacked with for a Bonus Action. I return to the creature and attack with both sword and dagger. Both are hits! 20 points of damage.
Rouge: My turn? I say, "Healing, please!" Then I cast Fire Bolt but miss.
Dungeon Master: Plummet is stitched for 4 points.
Plummet: I use the action of Disengaging and move close to Rouge. "I will do curing if you will cut this stitching needle's thread!"
Bingly: Since my turn is the next, I will do this despite needing no cures. My Dexteriting is 17.
Dungeon Master: She is loose. Golem! New needles at Helsa, Grolka, and Luce! All 3 are hits! 6 damage to Helsa, 5 to Grolka, 4 to Luce. Helsa may go. Two needles are stitching you first, though. 3 points and 5 points.
Helsa: Time for more healing, it's definite. Ah! 17 points. I am much better.
Dungeon Master: Pilchard may go.
Pilchard: My Bolting is 12 this round.
Dungeon Master: Enough to kill the golem! All stitching is done. 300 experience points are awarded!
Rouge: I look inside the cabinet for a marble.
Dungeon Master: You find one! Also thimbles and other sewing goods, such as working scissors.
Plummet: We can go back to the creepy tower's creepy door!
Rouge: No. There are coins by the broken counter in the first room here. Possibly more are hidden under the collapse, so we must first explore the possible treasure under it.
Dungeon Master: It is laborious, but eventually you uncover contents of a coin drawer. Who will roll the dice of percentiles to learn the amount?
Plummet: Ooh! I will! 44!
Rouge: Hopefully it's a number of gold, not copper.
Dungeon Master: Yes, 44 gold pieces in value, though some is gold, some is silver, some is copper. This probably is a good location for ending our session.
Plummet: I feel accomplished for our third marble.
Grolka: Finally, we may investigate the tower.
Rouge: There is treasure inside. I sense it!
Dungeon Master: We will see. Is a Dungeon Master in a mood of generosity? Hopefully things will motivate her in that direction this week!

Seventh Dungeon! Guardians and Guest!

Readers, suddenly in this session a new character appears! This is the character of our visitor from a faraway state and the faraway past of ranger Helsa's player. After introductions and sharings of meals and conversations, we insisted, "You must play this game with us!" Possibly rude for hosts to insist so boldly, but the player of Helsa supported this extortion of entertaining our guest. The new character is "Luce Sapphro." Another tiefling! Also, another rogue! However, this time it's Arcane Tricksterism gained at level three instead of "Thief" as with Rouge Hornytail the Black.

Luce: Your character's name is "Hornytail?"
Rouge: It's true.
Pilchard: Always her characters are unusuals of extreme.
Plummet: But in ways so fun!
Grolka: I predict you will be entertained.
Helsa: Also ... your character has a name of "Sapphro." Is "Hornytail" worse in flagrancy?
Luce: Mine is a pun from my character's fiendishness.
Rouge: Mine is punnish as well. I have horns and a tail. Together they make "Hornytail." The second meaning becomes amusing coincidence.
Bingly: We actually like puns in this household.
Grolka: Some of us.
Luce: Chagrin. I missed the pun part. Only the second meaning came to me.
Helsa: Tch. So dirty, your mind.
Luce: I have not heard you complain this way before. Should I think with more chasteness around you from now on?
Helsa: No. I am chastised. Let us continue our play.
Dungeon Master: Yes. First, the Dungeon Master must disclaim something. My preparations did not include adding a new character! 100 experience points to the first person who explains why Luce is here!
Plummet: Ooh! I know! She was in our wagon. But because of her criming, she snuck there without paying! While hiding in a crate, she fell asleep, and then woke up and could hear she was alone in a wagon carried by a roc!
Grolka: She must have very good ears to hear so much.
Luce: Remember! I did put Expertise in my Perceiving skill, you know.
Dungeon Master: Excellent! 100 experience points for Plummet, and 30 experience points for Luce, as reward for quick rule-applying!
Luce: Where do I write that?
Helsa: Right here beneath "Alignment." Oh, but your Alignment spot is empty!
Luce: What is Alignment?
Dungeon Master: It is a word of values and philosophizing by your character. Very easy to understand! Are you Good, Evil, or in between?
Luce: Well, I'm crimish in background, so probably not good. Additionally, I'm fiendish in species, so also probably not good. I don't like to be evil, though, so ... in between?
Dungeon Master: The in-between word is "Neutral." Now, are you a Law-abider, or do you want everything upset into Chaos and unorderliness? Or, again, are you in between?
Luce: Crimish and fiendish, so ... obviously no Law-abider. But if all is Chaos and unordered, how will there be money and properties for me to do crimes at? In between again, I think.
Dungeon Master: Neutral there as well, then!
Plummet: All of our alignments are two words. Is she Neutral Neutral then, like Rouge is Chaotic Chaotic?
Pilchard: No, just Neutral. Or, if you demand two words, "True Neutral."
Plummet: But Rouge is Chaotic Chaotic. Should she be "True Chaotic" instead?
Bingly: Rouge is Chaotic Neutral. Her thought was, "Chaotic Chaotic is funnier to say."
Rouge: Also, how could I be True and Chaotic together? Those words are opposed. Chaotic Chaotic is much better.
Dungeon Master: More important is our new knowledge that Luce has Neutrality for Alignment and was asleep in a crate. Now, when -- yes, Plummet?
Plummet: What did she do when she needed a bathroom?
Luce: Probably I brought a jar, or several.
Pilchard: Realism on this point may be undesirable.
Dungeon Master: The Dungeon Master agrees! Now, more story of Luce! Learning her situation in a roc-carried wagon, she also used Feather Fall similar to the group doing so. But, her Feather Falling happened later, so it took her longer to arrive at this town of ruin. Who wishes to explain this Feather Falling technique to Luce?
Helsa: I am delighted to explain. Luce, your character is equipped with this spell, thus a drop from any height is undamaging (if less than 600 feet). Your character sheet shows two of these Spell Slots for spells of the first level, which Feather Fall is. So on discovery of being so high up due to a wagon-absconding roc, it's feasible for you to jump out and wait until 600 feet or less from the ground to cast the spell. Then, down like a feather you drift. Think about what you might do during such a fall! Obviously there is no going back up once you arrive groundward.
Luce: Hmm. Probably, I'm wondering, "Where am I?!" Would I recognize the land from so high up? Are there maps in Dungeons and Dragons, surely? But even if there are, how much knowledge of them does Luce have?
Dungeon Master: Two skills might be useful in knowing maps. One: History. The other, Survival. Examine your skill list! It will tell which is better. Then roll the die of twenty sides and add the number for that skill.
Luce: This die?
Dungeon Master: Yes.
Luce: I have nothing for Survival, and only 1 for History. Definitely these are not my forte. A total of 12 when I make my roll a Historical one.
Dungeon Master: Not much help from History. All you know is, the caravan you boarded sneakily was to travel past a great plateau, going to the south of it, and now you are falling above the middle of a great plateau. But also, roll for Perceiving this plateau. You may spot interesting details.
Grolka: Or goats.
Plummet: Giant ones!
Luce: My Perceiving is improved over History. But this roll! It's only a 1 and then a 5 when Perceiving is applied.
Dungeon Master: You observe a river, flowing in some direction. But which one? Nature or Surviving might help for understanding this.
Luce: Hmm. I am unNatural ... only a 1 there. But we already know I'm even worse with Surviving. It's another total of 5 when I roll.
Dungeon Master: It's very easy to know that shadows go one direction in the morning, another in the evening. So a 5 is sufficient. Looks like the river is a north-south one.
Luce: Which side of this plateau did our wagon expect to caravan near to?
Dungeon Master: The south one.
Luce: Then when I land, I will follow the river in such a direction.
Dungeon Master: Sensible! You may have 30 experience points for this travel strategy.
Luce: So, now I have 30 experience points besides the 30 I already wrote. What do I do with them?
Dungeon Master: Eventually, they result in increasing of level. But surprise -- you have more! To match the level of other characters, we made yours third in level, which requires 900 experience points. Now let's add a random amount more. Roll 1 die of 6 sides and these dice of percentaging. 
Luce: Um ... 4 and 35.
Dungeon Master: Good! The 4 becomes 400, and the 35 becomes 35. 
Pilchard: 1335 when you add those to the 900.
Plummet: Plus the 60 awarded this session so far!
Grolka: This exceeds my current total. 
Pilchard: Likewise for me.
Plummet: And me!
Dungeon Master: It is an amount less than those who fought a bread golem, more than those who did not.
Luce: A bread golem?
Dungeon Master: Details will be discussed later. For now, Luce journeys south along the river. What does she encounter? The dice say, "Nothing!" However, after many hours, she does encounter hunger. Subtract rations from your supplies, unless you lack them or willingly subject your stomach to grumblery. Also, you thirst. A river is nearby, remember ...
Pilchard: Possibly Luce will want to be wary of it, though.
Plummet: Definitely possibly!
Grolka: We know she possesses multiple jars of fluid. The river may be avoidable as a result.
Luce: What's wrong with the river? Also, ew. I am neutral about most things, but not about drinking my own urine. Or anyone else's! I likely left those jars in the wagon. Definitely I would drink from the river, unless it has obvious perils.
Dungeon Master: Your character is unaware of any peril from the river. However, other players should be aware of peril from the Dungeon Master! Avoid these disclosures!
Pilchard: Sorry.
Plummet: Our bad.
Dungeon Master: After such long hours of marching with a break for ration-eating and river-water-drinking, ahead of you grows visible a town! It appears so:

Plummet: Ooh, that bridge is -- oops, shh, Plummet! Please don't glare so angrily, Dungeon Master.
Dungeon Master: It's an extra glare-some look because of not just one mistake but two! First is glaring about discussion of a bridge Luce does not know exists, and second is glaring because our new character landed on the other side of the river from our old ones. Thus, she has no bridge need for arrival in the town -- she's already on that side.
Luce: When am I arriving? Also, from how far away have I seen this town? And how extreme is its ruination? Did I see from far off, "Oh, it's ruined. No getting my hopes up," or did I see, "Oh! A town! I may be saved ..." only to lose many spirits when nearer perceivings revealed its brokenness? 
Dungeon Master: Your questions -- very sensible! The answers fit together. The time is early evening and the town somewhat distant when first spotted. Very low buildings, except for one black tower of exceptional size at the town center. There is a wind of despondent sound, growing louder and sadder as you get closer -- or possibly as it grows later toward night. Maybe it's not related to a town at all. With darkening, it's a challenge to see. But also with darkening, you notice, hmm, no lanterns coming on in this town.
Luce: Not a good indicator of population.
Dungeon Master: Now, it's twilight. All the north side of town, you can see, is rubble-ized -- the buildings, so wreckaged. Same with the east side of town, it seems. Only the west, nearer the river, has buildings with lots of walls standing. No lights there either, however. Night presses down over these sad-winded ruins.
Luce: I suppose it's the west side of town for me, then. I walk there looking for a least-ruined building I can shelter in.
Dungeon Master: Roll for Perceiving!
Luce: 16.
Dungeon Master: You spot one! It's the building of diamond shape there at the top middle map area. A roof is observed.
Luce: I approach using caution.
Dungeon Master: This is your Stealth skill if you are sneaking, or your Investigate skill if you are looking for clues of danger.
Luce: Can I use both sorts of care?
Dungeon Master: Yes. Two rolls, then.
Luce: I am 13 Stealthy and 25 Investigative.
Bingly: Ooh, that's a natural twenty!
Luce: Does a 20 make it Nature when I am trying to Investigate?
Dungeon Master: No, when the die says 20, without any additions, it is called the "natural" kind and always a success.
Pilchard: Well, in old versions. In this version, it's always a hit when fighting, but no rules appear about when skilling. So it could still fail for a very difficult challenge of your skill.
Bingly: I somewhat like the old version.
Pilchard: But the other end uses the same approach: a natural 1 fails in fighting, but could succeed for rolls of skill if the plus is great enough.
Plummet: Maybe we can use old rules for skill natural twenties, new rules for skill natural ones!
Grolka: Up to the Dungeon Master, really.
Dungeon Master: Both Luce and the Dungeon Master are still learning this game! No rules from olden times, please. Now, is 13 Stealthy enough? You don't know yet. Possibly something hears you but does not do any revealing itself. But 25 is so Investigative! It's a roll of success. You see clues of unoccupancy, such as non-disturbed dirt on the step before the door. Also, the door is open several centimeters. A cobweb is in the open space. Windows have shutters, but those are open. What you can see of inside is empty-ish looking.
Luce: Can I see when night is pressing so heavy?
Rouge: Yes! We are tieflings, so we have excellent eyes for darkness.
Luce: Hm. This is the Darkvision 60' on my character sheet.
Dungeon Master: Correct. One other thing you see, above the door. It is a gargoyle, but small. Only the size of a doll.
Luce: A gargoyle of sculpture, or a monstrous one?
Dungeon Master: Impossible to tell, unless it moves or attacks you.
Luce: I will use this Mind Sliver spell on it. Bingly informed me it is like a brain poke, so if this gargoyle is monstrous with a brain, probably it will react, yes? Do I need to roll something for spelling at it?
Dungeon Master: No, the spell says it must Saving Throw with Intelligence. Did you write down a Save DC for your spells?
Helsa: It's right there, Luce.
Luce: Thank you. The number is 11. 
Dungeon Master: I will roll, but notice that I always roll when characters don't know a roll is necessity. This way, you don't know it's just a sculpture by seeing me not roll, and don't know it's a monster by seeing me roll.
Luce: Devious!
Dungeon Master: Yes. Now you find that either it has made a saving throw correctly, or it is only a sculpture.
Pilchard: Or it is immune to Mind Slivering.
Rouge: Or it is tough and pretends there's no pain.
Luce: This spell says, "cantrip," I see. I was told I can cantrip as many times as I want each day, right? So I Mind Sliver it again.
Dungeon Master: I dice more poorly ... it screeches with anger! Roll your damage.
Luce: Only 2.
Dungeon Master: So slight! Now it's time for Initiating. Roll the die of 20 sides, adding your bonus of Dexterity.
Luce: 15 ... pretty good, yes?
Dungeon Master: Yes, but this gargoyle is quick with a natural 20 for Initiating. It swoops and attacks! A 9 probably misses you ... but an 18 probably hits, and damage is 3 points. Its flight is especially quick -- before you can attack, it flies out of reach.
Luce: If it is still inside 60 feet, I again use my cantrip. Also, its Saving Throw is more difficult now, right?
Dungeon Master: Yes, but the penalty is unneeded -- I roll a 1.
Luce: Now my damage is worse. Only 1 point.
Dungeon Master: Gargoyle's turn! It misses with both claws and flies far again.
Luce: More Mind Slivering, then.
Dungeon Master: Failure again.
Luce: Better! 5 points now.
Dungeon Master: Another gargoyle claw scrapes your flesh! 3 more points.
Luce: I feel it is paining me more than I am paining it.
Pilchard: An option is to Ready an action. You say, "I wait until it is in reach and strike it with my sword." Your sword attack and damage are bonused by Strength.
Luce: And mine is good, right? Plus 3. I do that, then.
Dungeon Master: It flies at you, so you may strike!
Luce: Ah. This is the "natural one" we discussed.
Dungeon Master: Always a miss when fighting, sorry.
Pilchard: Better than old rules, though; back then it's a "fumble" and you'd drop your weaponry or even hit yourself.
Luce: The new rules are my preference this turn, then.
Dungeon Master: Again it succeeds at clawing! 4 points now.
Luce: I repeat last round's strategy.
Dungeon Master: Roll to sword it.
Luce: 18! Plus 3 of Strength is 21.
Dungeon Master: It's even more because attacks get "Proficiency" -- 2 more at your level. Roll to damage it.
Luce: 4.
Pilchard: Not great, but your shortsword also causes it Vexation. You'll hit it more easily next turn, if you attack.
Luce: If I am still living.
Dungeon Master: Trouble! It gouges you with a claw and another claw! 7 points in all.
Luce: I need more hit points, I think.
Helsa: Remember this False Life spell from your Fiendishness.
Luce: But if I cast it, I don't get to attack, right? Does its Vexation go away?
Pilchard: Yes.
Luce: I am going to move away and use the spell. Possibly it won't follow if it thinks I'm not trying to enter the building it guards. 11 points! I feel less pained.
Dungeon Master: The gargoyle returns to its doorway post.
Luce: I move to 60 feet away and Mind Sliver it. Possibly it can't fly that far in one turn.
Dungeon Master: It saves with success and grows rage-full! Also, your guess is incorrect -- it can fly 60 feet in one turn, and so it attacks you again. One hit, one miss, only 2 points of damage.
Luce: But it doesn't fly out of reach?
Dungeon Master: 60 feet is all it can go and still attack.
Luce: Slice! My shortsword cleaves at it. 18 total! Damage is 8!
Dungeon Master: It looks harmed, but still active. Two more claws at you, then it flies back. Scratch! Gouge! You endure 5 more damage points.
Luce: Can I reach it and attack this turn?
Dungeon Master: No -- it is 40 feet away now.
Luce: I move 20 feet back and Mind Sliver.
Dungeon Master: It Saves and flies back to its perch.
Luce: I cast my False Life spell again. 11 more points! If it remains on its perch, I return to 60 feet away and Mind Sliver again.
Dungeon Master: Failure.
Luce: 2 is the damage.
Dungeon Master: More screeching. It flies to attack you. Two clawings for 8 points of damage!
Luce: Again, it can't move away this turn, right? I slice with my shortsword. 15.
Dungeon Master: This hits.
Luce: Only 5 points.
Dungeon Master: The gargoyle shatters in pieces.
Luce: Whew! I think from now on I will only pick fights with allies near.
Dungeon Master: Experience points are 225 for killing this micro-gargoyle.
Luce: I return to the building. Any sign of more gargoyles?
Dungeon Master: Not at this time.
Luce: I open the door to peek inside.
Dungeon Master: A small store. It has strange racks ... you think maybe, they're for wine bottles? A few do still hold bottles, but they're broken. In one corner, there's a barrel.
Luce: I Investigate carefully for signs of danger. 14 is my total.
Dungeon Master: Seems pretty safe.
Luce: If I sleep here, will I heal?
Dungeon Master: Yes ... if nothing attacks.
Luce: I close the door and all window shutters. If there are locks, I lock them.
Dungeon Master: A lock on the door, latches on the shutters. They seem to fasten okay.
Luce: My False Life can be used up to 3 times each day, right? Does this mean I get all 3 back in the morning?
Dungeon Master: Yes ... but also only if nothing attacks.
Luce: I will cast my last False Life to have the most temporary hit points possible before going to sleep. Hmp. Not as good as before, only 8. But that's better than the 3 I had left after being gargoyled with claws.
Dungeon Master: I roll to see if something encounters you in the night. The answer is "no."
Luce: Good. I eat more rations for breakfasting.
Dungeon Master: For the sake of convenient, we must say, Luce slept to a tardy hour. This is because other characters were following a homunculus to learn what it wanted. Now, those characters have learned a goal.
Plummet: Black marbles!
Luce: Hmm. Similar to the one in Mothership? I read part of that gaming record. Very beautiful the story you created about the marble.
Plummet: Thank you! It merely blabbled out because of upset emotions, though. There was no plan.
Pilchard: This makes it superior, truly. Storytelling excellence is in hard work, but genius is in inspiration.
Plummet: (blush)
Dungeon Master: The answer, though, is, "not the same kind of marble." Sorry. Maybe somewhere, it stuck in the head of the Dungeon Master. But I wasn't thinking, "Oh, I remember a marble in Mothership" when saying "You find a black marble."
Pilchard: Since we know now we're on a marble quest, I suggest turning away from the creepy black tower and hurrying back to ruinous streets for searching. We know two other buildings have roofs -- probably checking those is good for a start.
Plummet: Wait! We must still look at the ground, right? We don't want to see the cause of winds so icy, air that is creaking, or cold shadows of this tower.
Rouge: When we turn, does this homunculus lead us again?
Dungeon Master: Yes. And as you follow, the way is much easier -- wind is at your back, the air becomes less heavy in each step instead of more, and you pass from the tower's creepy shadow into sunlight. 
Pilchard: Which building with a roof do we search first? The map shows one much closer to the tower than another.
Plummet: I would like to get very far from the tower soon! I vote for a farther building.
Grolka: Same distance to go from tower to one building to another building and back to tower, right? Might as well humor our fearful Plume mage.
Luce: "Plume mage?" Is this a pun of feathers?
Pilchard: Yes! At last someone notices. Pilchard Plume is a scribe, so wields a feather quill at times, and Penny or "Plummet" Plume is expert in casting Feather Fall.
Helsa: How did I look past this punnery? We have all been saying it since Pilchard first did.
Bingly: Nice subtlety of punning!
Plummet: (frown) Um ... too subtle maybe? I am embarrassed I don't hear a pun. Bonus embarrassment because my character is a Plume Mage so the pun is about me. 
Helsa: "Plumage" means the feathers of a bird.
Plummet: What! It's so humorous! Why did no one tell me?
Grolka: Apparently no one here has the brains of Luce. Only Pilchard knew.
Pilchard: And if a jokester must explain his joke, humor chances decline.
Plummet: Oh. Okay. Haha, "Plume Mages!"
Dungeon Master: Sounds like the group agrees to the farther roofed building. This is also the one with a tiefling inside! Thus Luce must roll Perceiving as they approach.
Luce: 10 plus 4 of Perception is 14.
Dungeon Master: Footsteps outside while you are breakfasting your rations!
Luce: I hide behind the barrel.
Dungeon Master: It's stealth for this roll.
Rouge: Should be pretty good, since Luce is Roguish.
Luce: Only my Strength is worthwhile, sadly. All others, +1 at most. Dexterity is one of those. So for Stealth, a die says 14 ... my skill inflates this only to 17.
Pilchard: Not terrible.
Grolka: I attempt opening the door when we arrive.
Plummet: It's locked!
Grolka: But I don't know this. Also, our Dungeon Master did not describe this door. Is it sturdy? Or crumblesome like the one where a sad skeleton died? A crumblesome door might break open even if locked.
Luce: I should have Investigated for that.
Dungeon Master: It is not crumblesome. Grolka discovers its lockedness.
Grolka: I indicate there's a purpose for our thieveling tiefling here.
Rouge: A door worth locking may conceal treasure! I use my Thieves' Tools. 19 with the addition of my skill.
Dungeon Master: The lock unlocks.
Rouge: I open the door and look inside for treasure!
Dungeon Master: Roll Perceiving. 
Rouge: 11.
Dungeon Master: No treasure in sight, and this roll is too low to spot a Stealthing Luce.
Rouge: I enter and begin searching the many racks you described before.
Grolka: I enter as well, with alertness for foes. My Perception ... only 6.
Dungeon Master: Luce hears the light footsteps of one person and the heavy footsteps of another. 
Plummet: "Are there black marbles?" I ask.
Grolka: Not so far.
Helsa: I venture inside also.
Bingly: Same.
Dungeon Master: Luce hears more entrancing.
Pilchard: I don't wish to remain alone in the street with no protectors, so I go in next.
Plummet: Me too. "Plume Mages are here!"
Dungeon Master: All remaining characters should make their Perceiving rolls.
Pilchard: 9.
Plummet: 14.
Helsa: 13.
Bingly: 4.
Plummet: Even with your bonus?
Bingly: My character is unwisdomly, remember. I have a minus, not a bonus.
Dungeon Master: So many footsteps, Luce hears. But still she is unviewed.
Pilchard: I suggest everyone should look for black marbles.
Plummet: I agree with the suggestion!
Grolka: Someone should guard the door. A barbarian orc seems appropriate.
Helsa: I look in shelves that Rouge is not yet searching.
Bingly: I will look at the barrel. Does it have a lid that comes off?
Dungeon Master: Possibly. However, when so close to the barrel, it becomes very hard to miss a hiding tiefling. Roll again to Perceive, using Advantage and, mmm ... +2.
Bingly: Even with such boosts, I achieve only 15.
Dungeon Master: Luce hears footsteps approach very close! Bingly sees that this barrel has a lid with a handle. Maybe it turns and lifts.
Bingly: I turn and lift it.
Helsa: Wait. Remember when I opened the ...
Dungeon Master: Everyone must roll for Initiating!
Pilchard: Uh-oh. Well, my roll is 10.
Plummet: 13 for me.
Grolka: Only a 7.
Helsa: Sigh. Natural 20. That is 21 total, but now I have used all my dicing luck, I'm sure.
Rouge: 16.
Bingly: 6.
Luce: 9.
Dungeon Master: Helsa's turn first! She sees a surge of frothing yellowy-brown liquid swirl up from the barrel!
Plummet: Ew! Is it a pee monster?
Grolka: More likely beer or ale.
Helsa: I will bonus action to cast my Hunter's Mark, then shoot this ale-emental with my shortbow. Hmm! I was incorrect -- my roll is 18 in all. Perhaps luck is better for me today. If this hits, my damage is 10.
Bingly: Haha, "ale-emental!" Excellent, Helsa.
Dungeon Master: Possibly it's bad to reward punstering, but I agree with the quality of this one. 10 experience points! Next is the creature! It sloshes frothily into Bingly's space and uses a "Whelm" ability! Make a Saving Throw of Strength.
Bingly: So poor, my strength. The total is 11.
Dungeon Master: You are Grappled! Also, Restrained. Also, suffocating in alcoholic beverage! Damage is 11 points.
Bingly: Ow! I mean, "Gurgle!" Someone please hand me the book so I can learn my fate from suffocation.
Dungeon Master: Here. Next, it is the turn of Rouge.
Rouge: I shortbow the ale-emental. Or possibly it is a booze golem? Either way, my roll is 23. Is an ally within 5 feet of this enemy without Incapacity?
Dungeon Master: Bingly has the book. Does Incapacity come from Grappling or Restraining?
Bingly: Looks like the answer is no. Also, because I am so Constitutional, I can hold a breath for 4 minutes. So unless the monster kills everyone else, I should be okay.
Rouge: In this case, an un-Incapacitated ally means I can Attack it Sneakily for 2 extra d6. Damage is 11.
Dungeon Master: Plummet is next.
Plummet: I think Magic Missile sounds good for this situation. My three missiles hit without even rolling! 10 points of damage.
Dungeon Master: Pilchard now has his turn.
Pilchard: I will spell it with Witch Bolt. My roll for Spell Attack is 16 + 6, so I assume I hit. Damage is 20!
Plummet: So much more effective than my Magic Missile!
Grolka: Yes, but he might have missed.
Dungeon Master: Luce may act next -- or may continue to hide.
Luce: My character has the same Sneaky Attacking ability of Rouge, yes? I will stand up from behind the barrel and shortsword this being. Only a 10 for hitting, though.
Dungeon Master: That is a miss. Grolka may go.
Grolka: I rush over and Savagely Attack it with my battleaxe. 18 is my attack, and damage is 10.
Helsa: So much damage we are doing in one round!
Rouge: It's unusual for us.
Dungeon Master: Bingly is Restrained, but may act now.
Bingly: Probably I'm too weakling to escape, so I will dagger at it. Not sure how I can miss from inside, but Restrained gives me Disadvantage, so I do. I burble at everyone to hurry and kill it.
Dungeon Master: It returns to Helsa's Initiative.
Helsa: More arrowing. Ah, now we see the normal rolls of Helsa. 5.
Dungeon Master: When the ale-emental's turn begins, its bubbly liquid squeezes Bingly for 3 additional damages. 
Bingly: Gurgle!
Dungeon Master: Next there is Slamming. Grolka is close. Slam! 17. Slam! 25.
Grolka: 17 is a miss. 25 ... that's obvious. 
Dungeon Master: 8 damage points. Rouge is next. 
Rouge: Shortbow! Natural 20! So many dice I get to roll! 26 points total!
Dungeon Master: So damaging! Plummet is next.
Plummet: My brother embarrassed me with all his Witch Bolting. I will try this spell: Chromatic Orb! Oh. But my Spell Attack is 7. Now I have embarrassed myself even more.
Dungeon Master: Pilchard.
Pilchard: With a Bonus Action, I continue my Witch Bolting for 10 damage!
Plummet: What! I am still being embarrassed by this spell?!
Pilchard: Also, I will Ray of Sickness it. But this time I miss.
Plummet: Hah! Your show-offery fails.
Luce: My turn? Again, I will shortsword. Look! A Natural 20 like Rouge!
Rouge: Tiefling power!
Luce: I really get to roll all these dice? 
Rouge: You got it, sister.
Luce: Not as good as Rouge -- only 16 points.
Dungeon Master: Still, it is enough to slay the ale-emental. 250 experience points each! Also, Bingly must make a Constitutional Saving Throw. 
Bingly: Only 11.
Dungeon Master: Booze has oozed into your pores and mouth, causing inebriation! You have the Poisoned condition for one hour.
Bingly: I say, "Oh no, I'm drunk! I see two of our tiefling!"
Luce: I explain that I am a different tiefling and perform introduction. "Sorry to be hiding behind a barrel for so long," I say. "I was gargoyled last night, so I am cautious now."
Rouge: It's understandable. I ask if you have seen any treasure or black marbles behind that barrel while hiding.
Luce: No.
Plummet: Possibly inside the barrel?
Luce: I don't know. I wasn't in there.
Rouge: I will rush over and examine the barrel interior!
Dungeon Master: A black marble! At the very bottom, under some ale-emental remnants. The homunculus flies over to look and then points with excitement.
Pilchard: The homunculus is still here?
Luce: What is this homunculus? Is it worrying to me?
Dungeon Master: A small winged creature with a Dragonborn-ish shape. Roll Nature or Arcana to recognize it.
Luce: Both are the same bonus: just 1. With my roll, 12.
Dungeon Master: This is enough for you to recognize it's no micro-gargoyle like last night.
Luce: I am relieved. With no worries of more gargoyling, I ask why a black marble is sought.

[Readers! Here, new character Luce received a tale-telling by party members. With tiredness from Dungeon Mastering, I did not capture all this storying. But you have read all of this story in previous dungeon notes, so you should be fine. Or! Possibly you did not read those, so this Seventh Dungeon is mighty in its confusing power! You should go read them.]

Dungeon Master: Now that Luce has awareness of the mission, one marble remains unfound! However, I see a late hour on the clock and hear it tick-ticking. This is probably enough for one session.
Rouge: Does this mean the shelf-and-barrel-full building of gargoyle guardedness has no other treasure besides a marble? My character ... very disappointed! Probably I kick the barrel.
Dungeon Master: It makes a kicked-barrel sound. No treasure is produced.
Luce: Well, I had great fun Dungeons and Dragoning! Much happiness at learning this new hobby.
Plummet: Yay! We can play more when you come to stay.
Luce: I will anticipate it.
Dungeon Master: Session complete!

Sixth Dungeon! Treasures and Tower!

Dungeon Master: We return! The bread golem is sliced and crumbled, and characters have experienced their way to level three! Are all players prepared to adventure third levelly?
Pilchard: Yes. I can now illusion improved. It is my specialty of wizarding.
Penny: My specialty is to divine!
Bingly: Good, especially since our party is clerically lacking. In fact, I don't think "too divine" is possible for us.
Penny: No, I mean spells of divination are my favorites. I think it's sensible for a sage to want these spells, right? For acquiring more knowledge. 
Rouge: Um ... sure, sounds sensible. Doesn't seem too useful in combattery.
Penny: It is! I will demonstrate, I promise.
Grolka: My barbaric raging now allows a frenzy of berserk.
Helsa: What did it allow before? 
Rouge: Have you done this raging?
Grolka: Yes when killing twigs and needlers in our first adventure.
Helsa: So long ago!
Grolka: True. Since then the encounters have only been goats who did not attack and a plesiosaurus I needed to arrow. Raging provides few benefits in archery.
Helsa: I see. My advancement of third level is Hunting. My attacking is improved ... if my die rolling causes a hit.
Rouge: Not so dependable an improvement for you.
Helsa: No. It may be that hermitry gave me less practice for accuracy than another background could.
Rouge: Well, I maintain secrecy about my leveled abilities!
Bingly: Now you're a thief.
Rouge: Hey! No spying on my character sheet!
Pilchard: She didn't need to.
Penny: Your thiefiness is obvious.
Grolka: Even before this level, so thiefy.
Helsa: Everyone expected this.
Rouge: Maybe I chose something else then, due to my Chaotic Chaoticness!
Bingly: Maybe ...
Pilchard: Maybe?
Penny: Maybe!
Grolka: Eh.
Helsa: Seems unlikely.
Bingly: Anyway ... my specialty is also illusioning!
Pilchard: Imitator.
Bingly: No, my character just thought, "Illusions ... so cool!"
Dungeon Master: Now that the dungeon master has awareness of these improvements, we can proceed. Team Reading! You discover two things in the sadly starved skeleton's pages! First, before starving into skeletonhood, this person expressed many doubtings and regrets. Importantly, they wrote, "I wonder now ... should I have listened when Arngo cried out? 'So fearful! Don't look at it!' Maybe if I looked, I would be with them in the tower now." Second is, "Hunger is weakening me. If no one returns with our provisions, I will expire. In case I do, I have marked Rovatam's perishing place near the river, so his sister may have something of him if she returns. Not too near the river though! Too anxious I might be eaten."
Pilchard: Seems like this skeleton should have done some searching around the town of ruins. He might have found bread in a bakery.
Penny: No, only a bread golem! Then he would be golemed to death and no longer able to write these clues for us.
Pilchard: Possibly. Or maybe the bread golem was not finished baking, years ago when the skeleton starved. It might have been eatable then. But your character doesn't know about a bread golem yet, so be careful or it's an angry dungeon master for us to deal with.
Penny: What! Your character doesn't know about a bakery, so the dungeon-master angering will be your fault first! You started conversing this direction, not me.
Pilchard: My character certainly knows towns sometimes have bakeries, doesn't yours? I thought your background was in saging. It's only the golem part that is unreasonable for our characters to speculate.
Penny: Oh.
Rouge: Dungeon master!
Dungeon Master: Yes? 
Rouge: On the subject of what our characters don't know, please notice I am not saying something! In case you are later thinking for reasons to award points of bonus experience.
Bingly: This seems like a claim anyone could make over and over in hopes of an experience bonus.
Dungeon Master: Also, bonuses are for actions above appropriate, not just avoiding inappropriate sorts.
Rouge: I feel I have restrained my tongue for no reason, then. 
Penny: Heehee -- that's what she said!
Grolka: Ha. How has that joke made your mind so impure?
Penny: It's funny!
Dungeon Master: Do the Team Reading characters act on these new skeleton disclosures?
Pilchard: Only by making a mental note.
Penny: I don't see how to?
Grolka: My character remains guarding outside, so I don't know about them.
Dungeon Master: Then we return to Team Exploration. The bread golem lies as a heap of slices and crust. What actions do you take?
Rouge: I look in the open oven while our wizard medicals the ranger.
Dungeon Master: Empty.
Bingly: When the ranger revives, I go and look in other compartments of the oven, like the firebox and bin for ashes.
Dungeon Master: You find something!
Rouge: What! I didn't even know there were these other compartments!
Bingly: I Googled between sessions to learn how such devices work.
Dungeon Master: Resourceful! Twenty experience points!
Rouge: More unfairness!
Bingly: What do I find? 
Dungeon Master: In the bin, dusty ashes.
Rouge: Haha. Okay, I'll accept the mage finding this.
Bingly: I stir through the ashes with a dagger, or some stove tool if one is nearby
Dungeon Master: You find a dark stone marble.
Helsa: Hmm. Seems curious.
Bingly: How dark is it? Is it Vantablack?
Penny: Ooh! If it is, I want it!
Dungeon Master: Sadly, no. But 50 experience points for reminding the dungeon master of her very first enjoyable long-ago game of role playing!
Penny: Oh, that's right! We played that game so soon after your arrival!
Rouge: Can we return to our search for treasure?
Bingly: My spells don't include magical detection, so I put the marble in my pocket for now.
Helsa: Last time, descriptions included open cases. But are there also cabinets unopened that might conceal items?
Rouge: Or trap-doors in the flooring?
Dungeon Master: All cabinets are open. Tell me more about your examination for trap-doors.
Rouge: I will crawl and brush aside dirt -- a search of extreme and thorough.
Dungeon Master: Roll for perceiving. You can have Advantage for the detail of brushing aside dirt.
Rouge: Yes! The first die, only 3. Terrible! But then the die of Advantage is 15. Adding 3, it's 18.
Dungeon Master: You find beneath the dirt are yellow tiles. Very pretty.
Rouge: What! This is the gold color from the map of last session? So misleading!
Bingly: Seems mysterious for there to be tiles this specific for no reason. I examine them closely.
Dungeon Master: Very sunny and lemon-colored. It's a ceramic material, you think.
Helsa: Are any tiles different in color? Maybe a pattern of some tiles the same, some a little different?
Dungeon Master: The tiefling brushed dirt, but did not clean it fully. Do you wish to spend hours cleaning to see?
Bingly: Maybe hours are unnecessary ... I have a cantrip of Elementalism. It can collect dirt or sand into a cube of one-foot size. Probably that's many, many tiles of dirt cover, right? So I make a one-foot cube of dirt each round, and someone carries the cube out into the street, and we repeat until we achieve a floor of zero dirt.
Dungeon Master: Clever! Thirty experience points. However, I am Googling ... ah, the Internet explains that one cubic foot of dirt has weight of 75 or 100 pounds.
Rouge: Can you pick that up, ranger?
Helsa: I cannot.
Bingly: Definitely don't look at me. I have a weakling Strength. Only 10!
Helsa: This is my Strength also. Therefore I use a bow or shortsword, because at least in Dexterity, I have 12.
Rouge: So I am strongest in this group?! No wonder bread almost killed us!
Bingly: Hmm! But there's a solution. Instead of Elementalisming cubes, it's dirt spheres. Those we can roll.
Dungeon Master: More cleverness! But I am restrained about further bonus experience pointing -- it's part of the same idea.
Pilchard: She did avoid punning about "Wonder Bread."
Dungeon Master: I don't understand.
Helsa: It's a brand name for bread. Not sure she noticed Rouge say it, though.
Rouge: When did I say it?
Bingly: I noticed.
Dungeon Master: Still, no bonus pointing for absence of poor behavior. We discussed this before. Now, if you follow this plan, it is a success. But how long to achieve this success? There is ... mm -- 5 millimeters thickness of dirt on the floor, average. Tiles are 10 centimeters each side. How many spellings of Elementalism are needed? Someone math this for me! 
Pilchard: Okay. Google says 5mm equals 0.0165 feet. Inversing that gives 61. So 61 square feet equals one cubic foot dirt. Now Google says one square foot equals 929 square centimeters. Square root of that is 30.47 centimeters per side of the square. So one square foot equals about 3 x 3 tiles, 9 tiles. 61 square feet times 9 tiles each square foot is 549 tiles under each spelling of Elementalism. How large is this building?
Dungeon Master: Based on squares used on my dungeon mastering version of map ... about 900 square feet.
Pilchard: Fewer than 15 spellings, then. And the number of tiles is about 8,000.
Grolka: Why do we need to know how many tiles?
Bingly: I think he just got carried away mathing.
Pilchard: It's in case we find they have value! Even if only one copper piece of value per tile, the amount becomes 80 gold pieces.
Grolka: How long to pry up 8,000 tiles?
Helsa: Also, how to carry 8,000 tiles.
Pilchard: These are good points.
Rouge: A better point -- did we find anything about the undirtied tiles?
Dungeon Master: Patience! First, I award Pilchard 30 experience for volunteering as Dungeon Mather.
Pilchard: Thank you.
Dungeon Master: Now, with all tiles cleaned, you discover one place beneath a counter where a tile corner is chipped loose.
Rouge: That's all?
Bingly: I examine this corner-chipped tile. Does the chipping allow me to pull it out?
Dungeon Master: Yes! Beneath, you see something?
Bingly: I look closely.
Dungeon Master: A small handle is there.
Bingly: I pull it.
Rouge: Wait! Could be traps there!
Bingly: Too late.
Dungeon Master: Upon pulling, a section comes loose from the floor -- 3 tiles on each side. It's a lid! Beneath, you see a box in a cubby.
Bingly: I remove the box.
Dungeon Master: It's metal, and heavy.
Rouge: Full of gold!
Bingly: Probably not much gold, for a bakery in this size of town. I open it.
Rouge: Wait again! Traps!
Bingly: Again, too late.
Dungeon Master: Inside, there's coinage -- many coppers, some silvers, a few gold. But also -- a small box! Made of fine wood by much careful carving and craftingship. Each side is ... mmm ... about 5 centimeters?
Penny: How much is that in something that's not centimeters?
Pilchard: Half a decimeter.
Penny: Boo! I meant something even less centimeter-ish!
Dungeon Master: Here -- I'll space my thumb and finger. About so.
Penny: That is a small box.
Rouge: Can we continue? I have anticipation for Bingly proceeding to open this small box with recklessness.
Bingly: I do exactly that.
Dungeon Master: Inside -- felt! It makes a hollow where something could fit. Very round, this hollow. In it is something not round, though -- a small folded paper.
Bingly: I open it up and read it.
Dungeon Master: It says, "Secret use for a dark stone! This rock placed in a fire for cooking results in food so lively!"
Pilchard: Ha -- true and deceptive, it's paradoxic!
Bingly: This hollow where the note of paradox was -- is it sizable for the dark stone marble?
Dungeon Master: Maybe.
Bingly: I take out the marble and see. Does it fit?
Dungeon Master: Identically!
Bingly: I close the small box. It goes in my pocket, and then I inform others of coins in the bakery cash box.
Rouge: I arrive quickly to count it. How much is there?
Dungeon Master: The coins are mixed, but together, about 15 gold pieces.
Rouge: Five each! I divide them.
Bingly: What about Team Reading?
Rouge: Did they suffer a goleming? You can divide yours with them if you want.
Bingly: Hmm. My alignment is not Chaotic Chaotic, but also it isn't Lawful of any sort, so your argument convinces.
Dungeon Master: Any further activities by Team Exploration?
Helsa: I'm in favor of a short rest. My hit points -- very damaged.
Rouge: Oh! It's the same for me. Since treasure searching no longer distracts, I am pained. Very sore and bread-beaten.
Bingly: Is a bakery good for resting? Or would a return to Team Reading show more wisdom?
Helsa: I prefer returning.
Rouge: Me as well. One of our Plumes can heal, I recall.
Bingly: Probably hurrying is recommended, then. In case of other perils in this town.
Dungeon Master: My die rolling produces no perils on your return trip.
Grolka: When I see them returning bruised and crumbed, I ask what occurred.
Helsa: A fight in a bakery.
Rouge: We're pained. Let us through.
Grolka: I allow their passage.
Rouge: Inside, I announce my injuries. "Plume, please repeal these woundings!"
Penny: Okay! My spell lessens your wounds by 10. Is it sufficient?
Rouge: Probably, since we intend a rest.
Dungeon Master: So, the party is regathered. What do you discuss?
Pilchard: I tell them we read some notes, but the handwriting became regrettable over time, making it less pleasant.
Penny: I tell them all about the sad starved skeleton's tale.
Rouge: Even the headstoning of Rotavam's death spot?
Penny: It was part of the story, right?
Rouge: I say we must go and search there, after our rest. The sad skeleton said he wanted Rovatam's sister to have something from her brother. Loot may be buried there!
Helsa: Speaking of rest, I'd like some. My bruises still pang at me.
Bingly: How is the time? Should this rest be a long one instead of short?
Dungeon Master: The sun appears low. Evening will arrive with speed.
Penny: If we are long resting, I can cast more healing on our ranger since my spells will recover overnight.
Helsa: I approve of this plan.
Penny: 19 is my total now.
Helsa: Very capable! I applaud your magery.
Dungeon Master: Who will guard the resting party?
Pilchard: Probably our barbaric orc will be ready to rest. Already she's been standing outside so long.
Grolka: Less boring to stand outside than to watch mages reading. Also, I am extremely Constitutional. No chance I'll be tired from an hour or two.
Helsa: Yours can be the first watch, then. Awaken me when it's the next turn. Wait, though. I am elfly, so I don't sleep. Just alert me from trance after four hours. Then I can perform two watches alone.
Dungeon Master: No perils from my rolling on the first watch.
Penny: Would it be shorter to call them per-rolls?
Dungeon Master: Yes, very efficient! 15 experience points. Ah -- but my next per-roll endangers you. Helsa, tell me a page number! Somewhere close to it is what occurs.
Helsa: ... I will just roll two sets of percentaging dice. 45 plus 85 is 130.
Dungeon Master: Hmm ... this monster is possible. Roll for how well you perceive the dark street of this ruinous town during your watch.
Helsa: Poorly. The total is 7.
Dungeon Master: You are ambushed by a ghast! It stealths very close to you, ready for meleeing! Roll another Perception to see if you can Initiate or if it's an entire surprise.
Helsa: This time, 13.
Dungeon Master: You can Initiate.
Helsa: So sluggish. It's 6.
Dungeon Master: Much faster, this ghast. It is very hungry from no one to feed on in years, so it bites at you. The roll for hitting -- 17.
Helsa: I am bitten. 
Dungeon Master: 9 points of being pierced, 7 points of being necroticked. Now it begins your turn, and you must save Constitutionally against its hideous stench.
Helsa: 12.
Dungeon Master: Safe!
Helsa: I cry out for assistance. Next, I drop my shortbow and draw my shortsword. I Bonus Action with a Hunter's Mark spell. Then my attack roll is 10.
Dungeon Master: It's a miss. Others may now roll to Initiate! Or, if you consider your character very tired, you can roll Constitutionally to see if you awake.
Pilchard: I initiate at 20.
Penny: Very nice! Mine is only 7.
Grolka: 8 for an orcish barbarian.
Rouge: I am enjoying tieflingish dreams, so I must Constitution it. Only a 7.
Bingly: 12 is Bingly's Initiative.
Dungeon Master: Rouge is slumbersome this round. Pilchard, you are awake and first!
Pilchard: The door is incomplete, correct? I will Witchbolt through a gap if I can see. My total is 20.
Penny: So much twentying from Pilchard!
Pilchard: The stench of this ghast makes me want a quick end for this fight. I am using a level 2 slot for 3d12 of damage. 21 total!
Penny: Your streak of exact 20s has broken, though.
Dungeon Master: The creature remains undead! And its turn is next. Now, it claws at the ranger. 14 to hit.
Helsa: I am clawed.
Dungeon Master: The damage is 10.
Helsa: Painful, but I remain awake.
Bingly: I'm next, yes? I don't think any of my spells fits fighting a ghast. I throw a dagger instead. 20! The damage is 3.
Dungeon Master: Grolka's turn begins.
Grolka: I rise, seize my battleaxe, and rush to attack. Only a 9, though. Penny is next.
Penny: I will Orb it Chromatically. My spell attack is 11.
Dungeon Master: You miss. Helsa?
Helsa: I draw my dagger and fight two-weaponedly. My shortsword attack is 14. This does 10 points of damage from the sword and 3 more from my Hunter's Mark spell.
Dungeon Master: The ghast is destroyed! 75 experience points each.
Helsa: I am bitten and clawed, and it is the middle of the night, so no one has regained spells except my ranger. I think I must use mine for healing.
Penny: No, I still have some! 22 for my first one.
Helsa: My remaining wound is minor, then.
Penny: But I'll have new spells in the morning, so I cure some more. 12.
Helsa: Thank you. Unless ghast stench lingers in my clothing, I am returned to my original condition.
Dungeon Master: It does not linger much. But probably you want to drag the ghast body far from your hideaway.
Grolka: I will do that before returning to bed.
Dungeon Master: In that case, morning arrives.
Rouge: Who will accompany me to Rovatam's memorial?
Bingly: Shouldn't there be breakfast first?
Grolka: Probably even before that, a barbarian would piss.
Penny: Eww! I mean, probably everyone would. But is it enjoyable for roleplaying?
Grolka: As much as breakfast.
Rouge: In this case, during the pissing and breakfasting, I go to search for the grave of Rovatam near the river. But no too near! Beyond plesiosaurus neck reach, obviously.
Grolka: While pissing, do I see any other buildings that might have interest to adventurers?
Dungeon Master: How far does your journey for relief take you?
Grolka: Around a corner and out of the sad wind, I think.
Dungeon Master: Northwardly and westwardly along the street you see a diamond-shape building with a roof still in place. Rouge, roll to discover how Perceiving you are with a gravestone or marker.
Rouge: 13.
Dungeon Master: After some minutes, you find on the ground two crossed boards, tied at the center. They're old and rottish. The cord tying them appears feeble with agedness. 
Rouge: Are there signs of buried items near these boards?
Dungeon Master: More Perceiving! Roll, please.
Rouge: 20!
Dungeon Master: Somewhat near is a low heap of rocks, covered over partly with dirt and grass.
Rouge: I use the boards to dig this heap.
Dungeon Master: So rottish, the boards! Snap, and crumble! No chance of success with these for tools.
Rouge: Hmm. I have a burgle pack, though. Contents include a crowbar, so I will crowbar the heap instead.
Dungeon Master: After some time laboring, you reach a bag.
Rouge: Yes! I unearth it and open the bag.
Dungeon Master: Inside -- a splendid cloak and a spice pouch. Both appear very fine -- unusual in quality and appearance.
Rouge: Magical, perhaps?
Dungeon Master: Could be. But! There's misfortune -- your crowbarring has roused a small snake that used the heap for a burrow! It bites at you during your distraction of examining treasures. The roll is only a 10, however. Roll for Initiating!
Rouge: 13.
Dungeon Master: Only 11 for the snake. You may go.
Rouge: I draw my short sword and slice it!
Bingly: Very brave, fighting with no companions.
Rouge: She said it was small. It is small, right? My roll for attacking is 14.
Dungeon Master: It is small, but you notice wicked fangs. 14 hits it.
Rouge: These wicked fangs could have been announced earlier! My damage is 7.
Dungeon Master: It looks very harmed and flees into its destructed burrow.
Rouge: I move far away and put the cloak and pouch in my burgle pack. Then I return to my party.
Pilchard: I ask, "Did you find anything, Rouge?"
Penny: Oh! If Rouge lies, is there a rule for discovering it? Your sneakery may be discovered then!
Rouge: Why would I lie? Much simpler to say, "If you wanted to know that, you should have accompanied me."
Dungeon Master: All these dialogues are impatient! The tiefling spent many minutes searching and crowbarring and snake-fighting. Other things may have happened during this absence.
Penny: What other things?
Grolka: I predict a per-roll during my barbaric pissing.
Dungeon Master: Yes, wandering and then pants-downing alone in a ruinous village invites peril. The per-roll is 6! You are encountered! Pilchard, choose a page number.
Pilchard: Hmm. One hundred, seventy-two.
Dungeon Master: Hnn... 166 ... 171 ... 172! Ah, this is credible. You see a tiny winged humanoid!
Penny: Like a fairy?
Helsa: Those are fey rather than humanoid.
Penny: Then like an angel?
Pilchard: Angels are their own thing, even if their looks are human-ish.
Dungeon Master: I will increase my specificness. Let me roll according to Player's Handbook humanoid species. You see a tiny winged dragonborn.
Grolka: I tell it to go away because I am pissing.
Dungeon Master: It shakes its tiny head while hovering a few feet from you. With one arm, it points urgently upward and toward the center of town.
Grolka: Can I look that direction without interrupting a piss?
Rouge: How many rounds are you pissing?
Grolka: I assume orcish barbarians who are very Constitutional would have a great size of bladder.
Dungeon Master: I roll 5 rounds of urine being dispensed before the creature appears. Roll one hit die to determine your remaining duration of piss needed.
Grolka: 8.
Dungeon Master: The angle is poor for you to look in that direction. The creature continues to point. After two rounds, it becomes impatient and flits upward, then downward, then side to side, each time making a new pointing gesture. After four rounds, its features become angered.
Grolka: I tell it to go in the starved skeleton building and bother someone else.
Helsa: Is this discussion hearable to others in the building?
Pilchard: Or is it drowned out by an epic flood of piss-sound?
Dungeon Master: Roll your Perceivings.
Pilchard: My total is 3.
Penny: I don't wish to hear pissing, so I hum and try to have my ears avoid it.
Helsa: I Perceive with a 14.
Dungeon Master: Above the sad wind, you can tell there's an orc talking, but the words are sadly winded away.
Helsa: I assume they do not provoke alarm, then. Because I am hermitly, I allow our orc to her privacy.
Bingly: No Perceiving roll for me. My character is only interested in cool magical things, which does not describe pee noise.
Dungeon Master: After six rounds, the creature flies up above building height, pointing again in the same direction. Then, back down. So impatient, its face as it continues this behavior.
Grolka: When pissing is complete, if the creature remains, I call out to companions inside the building. "There's a creature out here! It wants something!"
Bingly: Sounds interesting -- if the tone of our barbarian's voice is not alarmful.
Grolka: More annoyedful.
Bingly: I exit, then!
Pilchard: Similarly.
Penny: Yes, me too!
Helsa: I will exit as well. It's preferable to remaining in the building with a sadly starved skeleton.
Rouge: Wait -- did we camp the whole night with that thing in there?
Dungeon Master: No one proposed removing it, so yes.
Pilchard: I feel like our characters would not make this oversight.
Penny: It seems discomforting!
Helsa: Perhaps a sad, starved skeleton roused so much of a pity in us, we could not bear to toss its bones out in the street.
Rouge: Sensible. Plus, who would want to sleep where it starved so sadly? That spot would stay unused whether a skeleton remained or not.
Bingly: I'm convinced. Also, ready to examine this tiny winged dragonbornish creature. What do I roll to identify it?
Dungeon Master: Based on my reading of this creature description, your roll should be Arcana.
Bingly: Ah! I'm capable with that skill! But eh, I achieve only a 15.
Dungeon Master: This I think is okay for knowing that it is a homunculus -- a wizardly creation.
Pilchard: I roll also! But it's only a 13. I suppose I know the same or a little less.
Penny: I just ask Bingly, "You look less puzzled than my brother. Do you know what it is?"
Bingly: "A homunculus. Wizards create them."
Dungeon Master: Very agitated, this homunculus now. It flies in circles. It points with both hands at different party members and then at the town's center.
Penny: My Arcana skill is okay, but my History is better. I try to remember if there have been famous homunculuses in olden times. Hm. Like my brother, I roll only 13.
Dungeon Master: So specific a piece of history -- 13 seems inadequate for knowing it. Pilchard's 13 Arcana is enough to think, "Hmm, maybe I've heard that," after Bingly identifies for them.
Pilchard: What does this homunculus want, Grolka?
Grolka: I don't have this knowledge. Why would I?
Helsa: You've had time to ask it, right?
Grolka: I asked it to stop bothering me while pissing. It refused.
Bingly: Did you include "please?"
Grolka: I am a barbaric orc. Barbarians don't see usefulness in "please," and the way orcs indicate "please" is just to not end a request with, "or I will beat you."
Dungeon Master: The homunculus points at all of you and then flies a little ways toward the town center. Then it looks to see if you have followed.
Pilchard: I did not.
Penny: Aren't we waiting for our thieveling tiefling?
Grolka: If others are not following the creature, I do not.
Helsa: I agree we should not abandon Rouge.
Bingly: Technically, she is the one who left, right? So isn't she the abandoner?
Pilchard: Hmm. I don't remember if she said she was coming back.
Penny: Me either.
Rouge: This is assumable!
Bingly: Yes, but would our characters assume it?
Dungeon Master: When the homunculus observes there is no following, it flies back, repeats its gesture, and flies forward again. It has an expression of even more impatience.
Grolka: All right. Should I follow this homunculus, or kill it? I am tired of its pestering.
Penny: Don't kill it! It's cute and tiny!
Bingly: Not as cute as an octopus, though.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus has a wary look for Grolka.
Pilchard: I tell it we must wait for our tiefling, then we can follow.
Penny: Please don't pester our barbarian until then!
Grolka: Or after then.
Helsa: How long is it before the tiefling returns?
Dungeon Master: These things happened close together: a tiefling walked toward the river, and a barbarian walked around a building corner. Notice which takes longer! Then, a tiefling searched and spied, compared to a barbarian pissing for 13 rounds. Then a tiefling crowbarred a mound and also fought with a small snake of deadly venom --
Rouge: This snake! It's described so much more dangerously every time! I don't think I would have fought a snake of such danger.
Bingly: You definitely would be dead if bitten. So lucky to escape unharmed.
Dungeon Master: The intention is not for showing how endangered the tiefling is, but comparing the search adventure to the pissing one for length.
Rouge: Wait, "is"??? I look around for that snake! If I am snake-chased, my trip back to the skeleton house will be much faster.
Dungeon Master: No, you are unchased. There's ten minutes of waiting by the group.
Grolka: Is the homunculus pestering?
Dungeon Master: No, but still very impatient.
Penny: Did we ever finish breakfast? I eat any of my ration remnants while we wait. Oh! These rations are plain. I regret buying them instead of bacon.
Dungeon Master: All breakfasting is done when Rouge returns.
Pilchard: Did you find anything?
Rouge: First, explain this hovering homunculus!
Grolka: It wants us to follow it.
Rouge: Did you ask, "Is there treasure?"
Bingly: No.
Rouge: It's the first question of homunculus encountering! How could you not ask it? I ask the homunculus if there's treasure.
Dungeon Master: It taps its tiny chin thinkingly. Then, there's a slow shrug of, "mayyybe?" Then it points more and flies briefly forward again.
Rouge: We must follow it!
Pilchard: You didn't answer my question.
Rouge: No time! Didn't you observe that shrug of, "Treasure is possible?" I follow the homunculus.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus leads you between some buildings to the next street. It crosses the street. There, it leads you into an alley. Beyond the alley, you can tell -- it's the center of town where the tower of creepy stands.
Helsa: Is this homunculus possibly leading us into a trap?
Rouge: Of course! Treasures often have traps. But we will cleverly avoid them! I continue following.
Dungeon Master: Has everyone followed?
Pilchard: Apparently.
Penny: If my brother followed, I followed him next.
Grolka: These Plumes need my barbaric protection, so I follow also.
Helsa: Implausible for everyone else to follow and a ranger to stay behind.
Bingly: Even though you're hermitly?
Helsa: I am formerly hermitly, before my rangerhood. This town does not seem ideal for a return to hermitly habits.
Bingly: Sensible. I follow too, of course. The creepy tower of creepy black stone has crept into my magely curiosity.
Dungeon Master: Before the alley-trip finishes, the homunculus stops. It points at each of you, then turns its head down, as if looking at the ground. Additionally, it cups its hands around its eyes.
Pilchard: Binocular-wise?
Dungeon Master: No, like shading from the sun. Or blocking view of things that are not the ground.
Penny: Ooh! Remember, the starved skeleton wrote that its companion said, "Don't look at it!"
Grolka: You think this homunculus is the companion?
Pilchard: No, the companion was 'Arngo' and cried out the warning, no pantomiming involved.
Penny: What if looking caused Arngo to turn into a homunculus?
Rouge: These questions do not bring us nearer to treasure. I shade my eyes like the homunculus and look groundward. "Let's go, homunculus!" Does it begin leading further?
Bingly: You can't see because of shaded eyes. Also, you don't know it's a homunculus, so probably you shouldn't keep calling it that.
Rouge: Then I say, "Let's go, thing that I don't know what you are because no one has told me in order to keep me from having to describe you with excessive long-windedness every time I mention you!"
Penny: I tell Rouge it's a homunculus.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus points to Rouge and then to each other character. Again, it lowers its head and shades its eyes.
Pilchard: I guess we're doing this. I also lower my head and shade my eyes.
Penny: I wish our rolls of homunculus identifying were better so we would know, are homunculuses sometimes evil and trickstery? This information might help my comfort when I lower my head too.
Grolka: A benefit of this eye-hiding is, I don't have to look at this pestering homunculus. I participate also.
Helsa: As do I.
Bingly: Same.
Dungeon Master: When all are looking groundward, the homunculus flies low to the earth, where Rouge can observe its shadow and feel the breeze from its wing-beats. If all follow, it leads you out from the alley and across the wide common area of town. Now along with sad-sounding wind and homunculus wing-beats, you begin to hear sounds of neck-tickly creakingness. Like the air is glass, or ice, with weight placed on it that is almost enough to break through. The air feels weighty also.
Pilchard: I'm becoming anxious.
Penny: Me too!
Rouge: You know something that is heavy? Gold! It has extreme of heaviness! Maybe the air will crack open and gold will rain out. I keep following the homunculus shadow.
Dungeon Master: The wind is growing. Closer and closer, the creakingness sound. You see the shadow of the tower ahead now. The homunculus lands and walks against the wind instead of flying. So much effort for its tiny form to struggle into this wind. Not much easier for larger folk either.
Pilchard: My anxiousness increases.
Grolka: Did I mention, my axe is out? It definitely is.
Helsa: My shortsword and dagger also.
Dungeon Master: The homunculus steps into the shadow of tower. So much wind! When you follow, the shadow instantly coldens your feet, like stepping in ice water. Further, and icy wind rises and rises with the shadowing upon you.
Pilchard: Hmm. Is it possible the Dungeon Master provides hints here that maybe we should turn back?
Penny: What? No, a tiny cute homunculus is a hint that we will be okay, I'm certain.
Grolka: Do you remember her saying, "This homunculus is cute, by the way?" I don't remember that.
Helsa: My memory is, it looks like a tiny dragonborn. In the book they are not cute of appearance.
Dungeon Master: You arrive at stairs! Only a few, three or four, leading up to a door. The homunculus points you there.
Rouge: I climb them! What do I see at this door?
Dungeon Master: It has no hinges, no handle. Its material is creepy black stone -- but with texture of wood. Is it stone carved into wood shape? Or wood turned into creepy stone? Hard to tell. In the door's middle is a smooth flat square, no woodiness to it at all. It has three little pits, or indents, in it, arranged triangularly.
Pilchard: Like an even triangle? Because any three pits or indents would be a triangle.
Helsa: Not if in a straight line.
Pilchard: But she already described its triangularity.
Dungeon Master: It's a triangle of sharp shape. One pit is high up from the other two. Those two are close next to one another.
Bingly: How large are these pits or indents? Possibly about the size of a strange black stone marble?
Dungeon Master: Yes! Exactly such a size! Thirty experience points! The homunculus climbs up onto one shoulder of Rouge. It points, here, and here, and here at the indents, with urgency. Then it points out toward the town and gestures of bringing something from the town to the door to put in the indents.
Pilchard: So ... we have to go back to the ruins and quest out two more marbles to put in these holes.
Grolka: Do we even know there is one marble?
Helsa: Rouge and I observed Bingly's discovery of it.
Rouge: Yes! I announce that these indents look just like the marble of a golem oven. We must find two others!
Dungeon Master: You have learned a new goal! I see a late time on the clock, though. This goal must wait until next session. 100 experience points each for puzzling and discoveries!
Pilchard: Excellent!
Penny: I can't wait to find more black marbles!
Rouge: I can't wait to find treasure.
Bingly: Praise for our Dungeon Master -- so much fun this session.
Pilchard: Yes!
Grolka: I agree.
Helsa: This campaign grows more and more in enjoyment.
Dungeon Master: I'm so pleased! Hopefully you do not all die next time.
Pilchard: Um ...
Penny: Uh ...
Dungeon Master: Haha, it's humor!
Penny: Whew!
Dungeon Master: Maybe. We will find out!